Strawberry Gashes
by YaoiFanGirl1990
Summary: After the death of his master, Allen finds himself in a spiraling path of destruction. Can our moody Kanda reach out to him and show how much he is needed? *Suck at summaries -,-"*
1. Chapter 1

_**Strawberry Gashes**_

**Well this is my first -Man fanfic so it's going to be a bit sketchy on some of the characters personalities *coughKandas'coughcough* so be gentle with the flames and criticism. I'm not very far in the series so my information will be OFF! I do know though that Allen is in the process of becoming a Noah, but I dunno if I'm going to imply that in my fanfic or not.**

****Warning** the rating is M mainly for later yaoi-ish chapters but mainly rated for suicide attempts, cutting and dark thoughts. I haven't done a fanfic in a while so I am a bit rusty. **Warning****

**Most of the fanfic is in Allen's POV.**

**All rights go to Katsura Hoshino, I do not own anything.**

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_**Chapter One- Turn Him Over**_

I lay there starring up at the ceiling of my room here at The Black Order with nothing much to do since the Millennium Earl and the Noah Family went off the radar. There weren't even Akuma showing up much for us to go after so everyone was just hanging around. When the occurrences first slowed down my master General Cross had come back and whisked me away for more training. We weren't gone for more than a month when Road Kamelot and Tyki Mikk ambushed us with some level three Akuma's. Needless to say we were overwhelmed by their attack and when I was knocked to near unconsciousness I had no choice but to lie there and watch as my master was killed in front of me. Darkness had soon overcome me after that and I didn't wake until three days later back in The Black Order's infirmary. That was four months ago and each day it is harder put up this fake smile especially when I have to reassure everyone that I am alright. I am brought back to the world when a loud knock resonates from my door and I sit up starring at the area with blank eyes.

"Allen? I know you're in there come on its time for dinner and everyone is anxious to go." I hear Lenalee's kind voice say after knocking one more time. Mustering up the courage I finally put on that fake smile.

"Sure, go on ahead I'll meet you there." I say as cheerfully as I could, but I don't hear her walk away and that makes me a bit worried.

"Just take your time Kanda and I will wait out here for you." She said happily once more and I trip over my feet upon hearing Kanda's name. I stare at the door for a while before I dashing around my room hurriedly to change out of the pajama's I had been wearing all day. I soon find myself standing inside my bathroom starring at the reflection of myself after peeling the shirt from me. My fake smile immediately leaves me my stare stuck on the red scares that lined up my arms. Finally tearing my gaze from the mirror I hurriedly pull on the black long sleeved cotton shirt hooking my thumbs through the wholes I created to ensure the sleeves stayed down. Next I changed into a pair of plain Jane black jeans and threw on a pair of black tennis shoes before walking out of my room to see that Lenalee had down what she said; her and Kanda stood across the hall quietly waiting on me to get changed.

"You two could have just gone without me you know!" I whined as playfully as I could. I was hoping they would have gone without me so I didn't have to meet up with them. I wasn't hungry, then again I wasn't really hungry ever.

"If we went without you then you wouldn't know where to go silly. Kanda, Lavi, myself and you are all going out to town to eat." She smiled walking over to me and I swore my face paled to a few shades lighter just then.

"Sounds like fun Lenalee…lead the way!" I smiled and sure enough she grabs onto one of my hands and onto one of Kanda's and begins dragging us towards the entrance of the order. I always wander how I get myself into these things. I just wanted everyone to forget about me so I could stay in my room and eventually fall into that everlasting sleep. I could feel cold eyes upon me and I was afraid to look, I already knew it was Kanda and I feared to look into his hateful gaze.

"So…uh, where exactly are we going Lenalee?" I ask slowly beginning to get annoyed of her dragging us along even after we joined up with Lavi.

"We're going to that new club that just opened. It should be fun!" She giggled finally releasing Kanda and my hand to latch onto Lavi's arm. I felt my feet slowly come to a stop every fiber within me screaming to turn and run back to my room, my safe haven. The chance never came when Kanda's hand pressed firmly into the middle of my shoulder blades pushing me along his shoulder pressed against mine.

"Stop stalling Moyashi, by the looks of thing the both of us will be suffering through this." His cold voice sent chills down my spine and a slightly relaxed. Even though this guy next to me could be a complete jackass at times I couldn't help but feel calm around him. It had been a while since I did hear his voice and truthfully; I really missed hearing it.

"Once again Bakanda my name is Allen not Moyashi!" I hear myself snap almost playfully and I could see the small smirk on his face from the corners of my eyes. We soon caught up to the chatter box couple and Kanda's hand disappeared from my back and the wave of anxiety came flooding back but my feet kept walking with the thought of Kanda next to me in mind.

"WE'RE HERE! Remember everyone this is a club so we are bound to get separated alright? Komui wants us home before four in the morning at least. So try for us to all meet back out here at midnight, if you wish to stay longer don't meet up." Lenalee explained before her and Lavi rushed in. I was just thinking of running off right then and there but pushed myself forward and walked into the loud building hands stuffed into my pant pockets looking around at all the people. Even before my whole personality did a 180 I never really enjoyed places like these and couldn't understand how anyone could. There was no surprise that when I reached an empty bar chair I was by myself ordering a bottle of water leaning against the rail of the bar starring at people. Most were lounging around with their partners making out or doing something indecent. Then some of the normal people were out on the dance floor dance to the fast paced music. Strobe lights were going off rapidly and glitter poured down on the dancing people.

"Hey there sweet thing, looking for a good time?" I jumped looking to where the voice came from to see a woman standing there. I wandered how someone could where such revealing clothes.

"I'm sorry I'm not interested thank you." I said nervously stepping away from the woman grabbing my unwanted bottle of water before heading down to the dance floor. I soon found myself lost in the music which had become a much slower song. Glitter still poured down from the ceiling above and I closed my eyes beginning to sway to the beat. I had slipped the water into my pocket and I was soon lost in my own world. I thought back to General Cross and how much I missed the man who was the only father figure I had after Mana died. I opened my eyes when fire sprinklers turned on ignoring the cheers that came from some of the people. It was good timing as I felt tears spill over my lids. My body soon came to a stop and I only starred up above me water dancing around me.

"_Idiot get out of here!"_

His voice rang through my head the last thing I had heard him say before I was thrown through trees by Tyki. Clenching my teeth I began pushing my way through the dancing the crowd my sights on the exit. I knew none of them would know I had left and I knew they wouldn't care. The moment I reached the exit I threw away the bottle of water and made a run for it.

"_Look at you Allen. This is pathetic really. You're being no fun at all. Too bad you just stay there and watch as we finish off your precious master."_

Roads words stung deep into my heart as I stumbled over my feet barely catching myself with the wall. I fought the sobs that tried to tear through my throat and I pushed on back towards the Order.

"_Listen to me Allen no matter what happens…don't blame yourself for this. Stay strong and kill these bastards the next time you see them."_

The final words before Tyki had run his hand through my masters chest. The scream I had let out then erupted from me as I collapsed to the ground once I entered the forest close to the order. I stayed there for a few moments longer letting myself slowly calm down replacing any fallen bricks from my wall fixing the mask I made sure to build perfectly. I let my mind become blank and I returned to my dark room. I kept the lights off the only light was from the moon and it was enough for me especially for the tiny window in my bathroom which was placed perfectly by the tub. I felt myself mechanically turn the water on hot slowly beginning to fill it. I pulled my shirt from body letting it drop to the floor more tears dripping from my eyes. My pants and boxers were the next thing I removed I don't remember when I had removed my shoes and socks but they were in the other room.

"_I know you can hear me Allen so listen up. You're nothing, pathetic, worthless. When it comes to it don't even think of fighting us you'll only loose another precious person to you."_

Tyki's words had stung the worst and they ring loudly in my head as I slip myself into the now filled tub of hot water. The sting from the hotness no longer bothered me and a lip down until my head rested on the edge and my arms dangled over the edge. After a moment I sit myself up lifting the little razor from the attached soap holder. His words sound like they bounced off the walls from all around me. On both arms I make an incision width wise only deep enough for blood to seep out steadily but not enough where it'd bleed too much. I place the razor back onto the soap dish and hang my arms once again over the tub edges. Slowly the hurtful voices begin to fade and begin to slip under the water ignoring my bleeding arms fell in with me. The dull thud of my door being knocked on could be heard and I only ignore it. I want to still pretend to still be at the club. I don't know how long I had been here but it was probably a little after midnight. I sit up in the tub and look into the now red pool.

"Allen?" I hear your deep voice and its alien to me. You sound so worried. "I know you're hear I saw you run out of the club. I'm not good with words but you can talk to me. Everyone here at the order knows how much General Cross meant to you." You continue and I find myself covering my ears and drawing my knees up. You're not allowed to be nice to me, you never were before. Yu Kanda hates Allen Walker. It has to stay like that or everything I have built up will come crumbling down.

"I'm coming in Moyashi." At that moment I feel a pulse of panic course through me and I rush to start to drain the tub.

"NO!" I hear myself scream once I hear the click of my door open. I had to f been careless in my actions. Everything was spinning after my head had connected with the tile floor of the bathroom. I hear you screaming at me but I can't make out the words even as you wrap me in a towel. Even the hallway lights are blurry and all I can do is focus on your too perfect face and my world fades to black once you hand me over to Komui. Why do I feel like my freedom has been cut?

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**There you go the first chapter. I know, I know I probably did horribly. Like I said it has been a LONG time since I last wrote a fanfic let alone updated any of my other ones. Tell me what you think ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

Strawberry Gashes

**I was actually surprised that it took me three hours to type up a chapter. GOD I'm rusty well lets hope that this one doesn't take too long now that I'm in the zone for typing. Woohoo!**

_**Hanashi o suru: I'm so glad you liked the first chapter. I'll try to update as soon as possible.**_

_**Kurie-tibiti: Yes the story is named after the song Jack off Jill. And thanks for the review. Though I am curious to how my style of writing is unique *curious face***_

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Chapter Two- A Candle is Lit

I had to of groaned a hundred times now fidgeting in this infirmary bed, I could always just up and leave back to my room but that would involve getting past Komui and Lenalee and possible even Kanda. Since I had woken up they were the only three I ever heard talk. Not to mention I have a baby sitter sitting in the wooden chair by the curtain that kept me shielded. I really didn't mind Lavi sitting there, but the silence made everything suffocating. Also he didn't know I had woken up since I aroused during the time he had been asleep and at this moment I was purposely keeping my back to ensure he didn't know I was awake. I still fidgeted though, sleeping people fidgeted right? I mean people tend to toss and turn, so yes I was still asleep.

"Anything Lavi?" I heard Lenalee's voice as the three who were out on the other side of the curtain walked in.

"Nope nothing unless you call trying to pretend to still be asleep nothing." He had said causing me to stiffen up immediately. I should have guessed that anyone in the order would have been able to tell. I felt my knees begin to curl up into my chest and my arms form an X across my chest. I tried to stay calm and even out my panicking breathing but all I wanted was for them to go away and leave me alone. Was it so hard to wish to be forgotten.

"Allen…please. We just want to help." I heard Komui say and a firm hand press down onto my shoulder. I didn't realize how panicked I was until I had managed to sit myself at the foot of the bed curled up into myself my eyes wide in fear and focused on the white bed sheets.

"Allen calm down, we're not going to hurt you." He said again raising his hands.

"Coming from the evil scientist who uses him as a test subject half the time, yea you sound convincing you idiot." Kanda snapped stepping towards me. My head jerked quickly over to him and he stopped in mid step his eyes emotionless as always but I could see the hint of worry in them.

"STOP! Stop looking at me like that! Stop worrying about me I'm fine!" I finally scream out but the worry only became more evident in them and I couldn't stand it. I buried my head into my knees digging my fingers into my head.

"Allen look at you! This isn't you so therefore you're not fine! Stop acting like a child and let us help you!" Lenalee shouted.

"I don't need help, if I did I would have asked for it four months ago! Please just leave me alone." I begged and before I could even let out a yelp of surprise I was pinned to the wall by my neck.

"Kanda don't that won't help!" Komui shouted in worry both him and Lavi had grabbed onto his arm to try and stop him.

"Don't need help?! Look at yourself Moyashi! You don't eat unless we drag you out of that dark room of yours. You have been cutting for god knows how long. And you expect us to just listen to you and pretend you're correct that you're just fine?! Fuck that, I will not stand idly and watch you wither away into this darkness that you've put yourself into." I could only stare at you. Your face clearly read anger but your eyes were so sad. I couldn't understand why.

"Why are your eyes so sad when you're so angry?" I hear my voice weakly ask and I reach out to touch the tear trail that had formed just moments ago. Your eyes widen in shock before you finally drop me.

"Komui I'll let you move him into my room. There is more than just depression from the loss of someone precious. Have Lavi or Lenalee bring him I'll be moving his things to my room." Kanda said before taking his leave. I could only watch him leave feeling as my own tears fell down my face. I looked away though when Lenalee sat in front of me. I waiting for the lecture, hell I couldn't blame her if she had decided to yell at me.

"Allen please look at me." She begged and I couldn't ignore her request, looking at her I fought back my own tears once more as she reached out and cupped my cheek.

"I can't scream at you or lecture you. I know how you feel depressed wise and I could only wish I could say I know what you're going through, but I don't. Yes I lost my parents to an Akuma, but the Noah Family purposely targeted you. I know your recovery is going to be a real uphill climb and I will try not to get upset whenever you relapse. Just know that the four of us all care for you, especially Kanda. You should have seen him last night." She explained thoroughly to me gently rubbing a spot on my head which was slightly sore. I couldn't answer her and I only dropped my head so I could look into my lap.

"Why don't you go and rest Lenalee, I'll make sure he gets to Kandas room." Lavi said walking over to the girl and helped her to her feet before grabbing my arm and I had to force myself to my feet. My legs felt wobbly and it took a few moments to steady myself and walk. Before we could leave Komui placed his hand onto my shoulder turning me slightly.

"I know how much you're going to hate this from how you expressed yourself the last time I brought it up. Once a week on whatever day you choose I want you to come to my office, even if its to sit in there silently for thirty minutes I don't care. Please though come and try to talk about what's in that head of yours." He said and I could only nod before Lavi gently placed his hand onto my back and began leading me down the hallway towards Kandas' room.

"Why would you try and kill yourself?" Lavi finally asked stopping our walk before turning down the hall where Kandas' room was located. I could only sigh and stare at the ground.

"I didn't, I just did what I normally did. Cut my arms to take away the pain. I only made them deep enough to bleed just a little. Kanda showing up and walking into my room threw me into a panic I guess and I tripped out of the tub. Just please stop talking about it." I say my wall already placed back up, I hear him sigh next to me. I knew this wasn't the end and no matter what I don't plan to stop, it's the only way that will keep the voices away.

"Yo Yu we're here." Lavi shouted after knocking on the door and I step out of the way as Kanda's door flies open sending the red head flying over the ledge across the hallway.

"Serves him right, he knows better." I mutter not once looking up from my feet.

"Come on, I know how much you hate this but it's for the better." Kanda finally speaks grabbing onto my hand and pulls me into the room. Once again he shocks me with how gentle he was being.

_Pathetic_

My feet stop just barely entering the room as Kanda closes the door and makes his way over to the bed. Slowly the voices from that fateful day begin returning and there is nowhere for me to run, nowhere for me to hide. Kanda's back is to me so I know he doesn't see me as I push my fingers into my hair my palms pressing down over my ears.

_Nothing_

My feet travel me backwards until my back is firmly pressed against the door. How I wanted to shut up the voice of Tyki. His voice was driving me mad and thanks to last night and my stupidity I couldn't silence the words. I soon hear Roads laughter in my head and I couldn't stop the whimper that vibrated through my throat as I choke back a sob.

_Worthless_

Before I could scream out for the voices to stop I feel fingertips brush gently across my cheeks as hands are placed onto my own. I knew who it was, and soon his forehead was resting against my own. Tears fell from my eyes and the sobs finally broke through.

"Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru, Douka kono ko ni ai o, Tsunaida ten i KISU o." Kanda quietly sang in japanese his deep voice flooding into me. Even though I didn't understand a word he just said it was enough to make the voices fade away.

"K-Kan…da." I managed to choke out unsure of what was happening or as to why he was being to so nice to me. I couldn't stop the tears as the flowed faster down my cheeks. I stare into his deep emotionless eyes as his hands cup my cheeks letting my drop my arms down to my sides.

"Like I said before, I'm not good with words but you can talk to me. I promise to listen and not degrade you no matter what you say. I thought I lost you again…I couldn't do anything before when we found you, but I knew this time I could do something." You say to me and once again though your face is blank, your eyes are so full of worry.

"But….I thought…" I continue to choke out but you just quietly shush me running your thumbs over my cheeks to wipe away the tears. I feel my hands lift up and grasp onto your exorcist jacket.

"I don't hate you, at first maybe, but over time all I wanted to do was protect you unfortunately I didn't know how to change the way I originally acted around you." He confessed and I knew that was the best love confession I was going to get out of Kanda. I'm soon led over to the bed and Kanda lays us both down, he kept his arms firmly wrapped around me as he began to sing again. The same song but from the beginning and I continued to listen as it slowly put me to sleep.

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_The moment I had entered the dream, I knew exactly where I was and I shook with terror starring at all the candles floating about the circus like room. I spun around looking about everywhere but I couldn't see her. I couldn't see Road anywhere. I was so frantic that I didn't pay attention until I was pinned on my back Tyki towering above me with his sick smirk upon his face, Road stood off behind him also with a smirk on her face._

"_It's been a while Allen, I see that you're holding up quite as what we wanted." Tyki laughed pulling the sleeve to my shirt down his fingers tracing over the scars from my cuts. I writhed under him trying to slip away in any way I could. I need to escape and get as far from them as possible._

"_Stop moving or you'll make it worst." Tyki laughed my eyes widen as his knee pressed in between my legs and I instantly still feeling tears pricking at my eyes once more. His smirk widened and he leaned forward until his mouth was by my ear._

"_Let's see if your Kanda can protect you now." He whispered before he forced his lips onto mine, my eyes widened and I began to try and push him off of me. When he pressed his knee further in between me I let out a gasp and he took that moment to plunge his tongue into my mouth. All I could do was whimper and listen to Roads cackling behind Tyki as his hands slipped under my shirt dancing lightly over my skin._

'_Wake up Allen….WAKE UP!' I screamed at myself and everything froze before shattering leaving me in a void of darkness where I finally broke into hysterics._

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Closing my eyes I curled up hugging my knees before opening my eyes finding myself starring up at the ceiling of Kanda's room. I could hear his steady breathing beside me. Sitting up I looked over to his clock and it read 12:12 am so it wasn't really all that late. Letting out a quiet heavy breath I stood from the bed not believing what I was about to do. After quietly rummaging through my bags I left Kanda a note then left not worry about shoes. I walked the empty halls of the Order until I came to the room I was looking for. Taking a deep breath I finally reached up and knocked unsure if he was even still at his desk or if he was already in his own room asleep. My thoughts though were answered when Komui opened the door and I watch his tired face soften.

"Come in Allen." He smiled stepping aside to let me in and I complied walking into the dim lit room. Already I felt odd being here.

"I'm sorry for it being late." I say in an almost whisper not trusting my own voice as it slightly cracked.

"Don't be sorry. Is everything alright?" He asked leading me to the couch sitting down next to me. I sat there quietly sorting through the events that just occurred within my own mind. I hated this feeling of vulnerability.

"I was dragged into Road Kamelots' dream world just moments ago or…I don't know how long I was there…" I choked out and I just continued explaining everything that happened to me in that world with Tyki and by the time I finished I was curled up into my knees on the couch slightly rocking.

"And now you're afraid to sleep." Komui said after I had finished speaking and I knew what he was getting at. The Noah Family was finally coming for me.

"Let me see what I can whip up so you don't dream for a while until you're more mentally stable. Don't hide this from Kanda or anyone else who asks. Talking helps keep that in mind." He said helping me stand from the couch.

"Yea…it does. Thank you Komui." I say he just smiles and pats me on the head we only share goodbyes before I leave where my smile fades once I shut the office door behind me.

"Moyashi?" My head snaps up and I see Kanda standing there leaned up against the wall. He watches me closely and before he can say anything or move towards me. I tell him everything that happened in my mind.

"Komui is going to make something that stops me from dreaming. Even I know how much I need to sleep." I say walking over to him myself.

"Good, we'll get you through this. No matter what ups and downs occur. I won't leave your side." You say and all I can do is smile and wrap my arms around chest, you return the hug kissing the side of my head.

"Lets go back to bed Moyashi." You chuckle and we are soon walking down the hallway back to your room. It was a comfortable silence and I find myself leaning my head onto your shoulder my eyes closed.

"YU-KUN!" Once again the sound of Lavi getting smacked and thrown over the railing forces me to open my eyes and I see Lenalee standing across from me sighing. I look to see Kanda standing at the railing yelling down at the fallen Lavi.

"So how are you feeling? I couldn't sleep knowing that you were so upset earlier." Lenalee asks finishing the distance between the both of us.

"Just tired and can't wait for whatever your brother is going to cook up to stop me from dreaming." I reply to her watching Kanda as he wielded Mugen.

"Just be careful, especially since he's pulling an all-nighter. He tends to get things switched up a bit." She warns me and we're jumped out of our conversation by an explosion. We turn to see Kanda attacking Lavi for the red head repeatedly calling him by his given name.

"Kanda is it really necessary to try and kill my boyfriend!" Lenalee asks her fists beginning to clench by her sides.

"Yes it is I am tired of always repeatedly telling him to stop calling me by that name!" Yup, Kanda was angry once again but at least this time it wasn't aimed at me.

"Kanda…" I begin to say wanting to ask if we could just go back to the room, but within an instant I lost my courage and just stood there my hand across my chest on my arm starring once again at my feet. I feel myself slightly jump when your fingertips gently touch my cheek.

"Let's get you back to the room. You seem nervous." I look up into your eyes and find myself amazed at how easily you can read me. I can hear the slight happy squeal from Lenalee but I push it to the back of my mind.

"ALLEN!" We both jump at the sound of my name being called and turn to see Reever running up to us. "Here this is from Komui." He got strait to the point holding out a bottle to me.

"He already completed it?" I ask stunned taking the pill bottle from him, the warning from Lenalee putting me slightly on edge.

"Yea, but becareful he was half asleep while working on this. Just take one tonight not two that is until I have a fully awake Komui to double check on your new prescription." Reever explains and all I do is shrug and nod my head to let him know I understand.

"Just tell my brother that if anything weird happens to Allen I'm going to come after him!" Lenalee threatens causing all of us minus Kanda of course to laugh nervously.

"Well, let's see if I can get anymore sleep tonight." I laugh nervously the feeling in my stomach becoming more and more evident as Kanda and I begin our way back to the room.

"You know if you don't want to, you don't have to take them tonight. You can wait until Komui re-checks his work. We both know this is probably not going to end well." Kanda voices his concern and I can only sigh walking into his room first.

"For now, I'll trust Komui since it seems he genuinely wants to help me. But I swear on Mana and Cross's grave that if anything weird occurs to me, he is a dead man." I say darkly feeling my ever prominent dark side slip out walking into Kanda's bathroom so I'm not swallowing the pill dry.

"I feel sorry for anyone who gets on your bad side, that dark side of yours truly is something to fear." Kanda chuckles taking a hold of my wrist after I finish taking the pill and lead me back to the bed, I'm slightly hesitant to lay next to him. I remind myself that he is not Tyki and that he wasn't going to hurt me. I lay next to the dark haired man I slowly begin to grow deeper feelings for more and more letting my eyelids slip close burrowing my face into his chest when his arms securely wrap around me.

"Have sweet dreams my Moyashi." I hear him whisper and soon I find myself back into the black void of the dream land a wave of numbness washing over me and I soon realize these pills were going to do something to me when I am sent right back to Roads little world.

"I hate you Komui." I say before I begin to keep myself hidden hoping neither the annoying girl nor Tyki will find me.

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**Well there you have it Chapter Two is up! So I need some help…What should happen to Allen? Well pill side-affect wise? I have no idea what I should do. Any and all suggestions are welcomed! LOL I hope you enjoy the chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well this chapter will be a bit comical seeing as Komui accidentally does something to our poor loveable Allen. And I wander how Kanda is going to react**.

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Chapter Three- I See Through Him

_I couldn't believe this, how could everything wrong always happen to me! At this very moment I was hiding behind a large beach ball my knees hugged to my chest as I began to lose hope. Every now and then Roads loud laughter would echo around the room and Tyki's taunts to come out. He made empty promises to not hurt me. I knew better though than to believe him, I prayed that while sleeping that I was tossing turning. Kanda was bound to be woken up by my movement. When things fell silent I couldn't help but become worried and I crawled to one side of the ball and peered around to see if I could see anyone there. The moment I did though I regretted it when my face collided into someones knees. _

"_Looky what I found Road, our guest of honor." I looked up at Tyki my face contorted in fear, there was no time to react when the man pushed me onto my back pinning me down by my wrists, him straddling me. _

"_Get off!" I begged whimpers leaving me while he only laughed at me._

"_Oh come now Allen! It's not that bad, you should be happy that someone loves you even a little bit!" Road lectured kneeling down by my head. I couldn't understand why this was being done to me, why was I the main one they were coming after. _

"_Awe…Don't cry Allen. We hate to see your tears." Road smirked brushing her knuckles over my tear stained cheek playfully. Tyki chuckled leaning forward nipping at my neck, I couldn't only stare up above me as I finally gave on trying to even fight back, there was no use. _

"_Um…Tyki…something's happening to him!" Roads startled voice alerted me and once I began to focus again that's when I felt it. It was an odd feeling slightly painful but overly odd. I felt like I was shrinking the moment Tyki had jumped off away from me._

"_You've got to be kidding." Tyki hissed standing there next to road with his arms crossed. When the feeling finally subsided, I was right about one part. I did shrink. Road and Tyki both towered over me. I was confused though as to why Road fell over onto her side laughing crazily pointing at me. I went to ask her what was wrong with her nothing came out but a chirp._

"_Oh this is priceless Tyki! To think…you almost committed beastiality!" Her words caused concern to rush through me and I ran to where I saw the nearest ground level mirror. I was unsure as to why I was running on all fours but I didn't care I need to see. The moment I looked into the mirror I felt my world shatter once more._

'_KOMUI! YOU TURNED ME INTO A SUGAR GLIDER YOU BASTARD!' I screamed in my mind beginning to bang my tiny little fury head against the mirror. I didn't catch what Road had said but I knew that this moment would occur again. The world faded away and I re-awoke back in Kanda's bed still in the sugar glider form._

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'Okay Allen don't panic….whatever you do…don't panic!' I thought tacking squeaky breaths standing on the bed. But my calmness was short lived as I began scurrying around Kanda's bed in panic wandering how this was going to be fixed.

"Moyashi…go back to sleep." I heard Kanda mutter tiredly pulling the covers over his head laying onto his stomach. I silently cried before running over to Kanda and began jumping on him in attempts to wake him up.

'Wake up, wake up, wake UP!' I repeated in my mind as chirps came from my vocals instead.

"MOYASHI!" Kanda yelled angrily jumping to sitting up which sent me flying across the room. Thankfully it turned to a glide and I landed gracefully on his dresser no harm done. Turning I could only turn my big black eyes into a glare at him. I understand he becomes grouchy when woken up suddenly, but seriously that's no reason to over react!

"….Moyashi?" He asks once he notices I'm not in the bed and he's over to me examining the transformation. I can only huff at him.

"Oh my, this is bad." He finally says lifting me up into his hands before sighing.

"ok, ok we'll fix this. Stay here while I change." He instructs setting me back onto the dresser and rushes off to begin changing into his Exorcist uniform. I look around becoming bored quite quickly that I backed myself up to the wall and took off running jumping form the dresser spreading my arms and legs. The feeling of gliding through the air, the problem is knowing how to stop. I never figured it out before I became one with the wall and fell backwards onto the bed my legs twitching.

'So this is why humans shouldn't learn how to fly!' Thought to myself feeling myself lifted up and cradled, looking up Kanda could only shake his head before lifting me up higher and slipped me into the inside pocket of his jacket.

"Let's just keep you hidden until we reach that crazy ass Komui." He stated and I complied curling up in his pocket listening to the surroundings as we entered the hallway. It sounded like everyone was slowly waking up anyway and probably heading to the cafeteria for breakfast.

"Hey Kanda, where you headed and where's Allen? Is it really okay to leave him alone?" Lenalee's voice was as chipper as ever and it was funny at how Kanda sighed.

"No Allen isn't alone he's in my inside jacket pocket and we're headed to go kill your brother. Would Usagi and you like to join me?" His voice was back to its moody tone.

"HEY! Don't call me Usagi Yu!" Lavi yelled and I guess he tried to hit Kanda but only missed and ran into the wall behind us.

"Gladly…could I see what happened to Allen though please?" Lenalee asks politely and I knew she was holding her hands out.

"Sure just make sure he doesn't try to fly." Kanda chuckles and I only huff as he pulls me out and sets me gently into Lenalee's hands. I get a bad feeling when I see her eyes go funny and she starts calling me cute and cooing at me. I could only narrow my eyes at her and soon she realizes it and laughs nervously.

"Sorry Allen, I guess I got carried away. Let's go get Komui so he can fix this." She says setting me atop of her head and I have to say this was better than trying to fly.

"So do we have any clue as to how this happened and when he's going to change back?" Lavi asks reaching up and begins scratching behind my tiny ears. I unwantingly begin to pur and soon his hand retracks when Kanda growls at him.

"No clue except for this is the result of the prescription pills he was given last night. I knew he probably shouldn't have taken them. Like Allen said early this morning, your brother is a dead man." I shudder at the evil smile that protruded from his face.

"Kanda…um you went scary." Lenalee warns and I find him starring at me once more.

"Sorry Moyashi." He says reaching over and runs his hand gently from my head and down my back and along my tail which curls around his hand. It doesn't take us long to reach Komui's office and I am now riding on top of Kanda's head snuggling into his hair. It was so soft and I felt so comfortable there that I refused to move for anyone.

"Oh hello guys what can I do for you?" Komui asks in his ever so cheerful voice. I let out a squeak when Kanda suddenly lifts me off his head and holds me out to the crazy man.

"Change him back you bastard!" Kanda yells angrily again and I wave my tiny paw at Komui suddenly feeling shy all of a sudden.

"Is that Allen? Oh my now I see why Reever wanted me to check over those pills I gave him. I guess I gave Allen the ones I was preparing to give Lavi for dating my sister." Komui laughed sheepishly. "Oh well time to fix it." Komui suddenly says pulling out his large drill and I find myself suddenly out of Kanda's hand and scurrying out the office door.

"Moyashi get back here!" I hear Kanda yell and I knew he was now chasing me.

'There is no way you're leaving me alone in that forsaken room with that crazy ass Komui! NO WAY IN HELL!' I scream to myself scurrying up a drape that hung over the ledge and jumped off so I could glide down below.

"Moyashi you're over reacting stop running from me damn it!" Kanda continued to yell at me.

"Don't worry Kanda I know a way!" Lavi's yell came next. "Big hammer little hammer extend!" came his next yell and I panic when hammer connects to the lower level where I was headed.

"Moyashi!" I barely dodge Kanda's hand pulling my skinny arms and legs to myself beginning the quick decent to the bottom floor. Kanda quickly follows and my eyes widen as I try to speed up my decent to the floor which is anything but a soft landing. But I have no time but to hurriedly scurry away when Kanda lands gracefully on his two feet still following.

"Moyashi I swear I'm going to beat you black and blue if you don't stop running this fucking instant!" I freeze at Kanda's words and slowly turn to him my eyes now wide in shock and fear as I slowly back up. He stops running himself when he sees my scared face.

"Moyashi…" He says but I don't hear what he says before slipping through a crack in the wall and escape. I ignore his calls for me finding a small pocket and curl up whimpering. I just want to disappear again. Maybe being a sugar glider won't be so bad. They'll all eventually forget about me. Once the coast is clear I'll sneak out and make my way into the world. Not even the Noah's will recognize me. I lay there with my head on my tail sniffling and whimpering. I should have known better than to expect that Kanda would be nice to me forever.

"Allen hey it's my Lenalee. Please come out, I'll make sure Komui doesn't do anything weird to you. Besides the drill wasn't meant to scare you, it was meant for Lavi. So please for me will you come out?" She sounded so said calling to me, but all I could do was lie there letting out more whimpers.

"Come on Lenalee let's give him some space. I shouldn't have said what I said." I heard Kanda's voice and my eyes just narrow. I listen as they walk away and soon I to venture out of the crack starring after the backs of my three friends. Looking up I notice an open window above and so I scurry across the hall and begin my climb up the stone wall using the cracks to help me up. Sitting on the tiny ledge I look across the morning sky over the trees.

"Allen?!" It was Komui's voice but I don't look back taking a step closer to the edge and peering over the, though the distance of how high up I was should have scared me, I was anything but that. The wind blew through my white fur and it felt really nice.

"Allen, you get away from that ledge this instant! Think rationally, I didn't mean any harm I swear! LENALEE, KANDA, LAVI COME HELP ME WITH THIS SUICIDAL CHILD!" I hear Komui panic a ladder hitting against the wall the thud shook around me and I peered over the ladder glaring down at Komui sticking my little tongue out at him before turning again and running off the ledge spreading my arms and legs. If I was still human a huge smile would have been spread across my lips and there probably still was one.

"ALLEN!" I hear Kanda yell more me but my happiness of feeling this free feeling overwhelmed me and I continued to slowly glide the trees drew closer slowly as I descended. As I land on a branch of a tree I use my gliding abilities to continue gliding through them until I reached town. I scurried through the road making sure not to get run over or stepped on once I reached the sidewalk. I couldn't believe how everything was so big once you had shrunk down to the size of a gerbil.

"Oooooo~ Look how adorable Tyki!" I panicked and tried to scurry away but I was unfortunately grabbed and now starring into the face of one of my worst nightmares. Road Kamelot, in her human form.

"Can I keep him? Can I keep him? Please, please, please! I'll make sure to take care of him, love him, and much more!" She wailed happily hugging me as close to her as possible. I had to be in shock because, I was to frozen to move. But at least the witch didn't recognize me at all.

"Sure Road, I don't care, but he is your responsibility not mine got that?!" Tyki said giving the small girl a stern look.

"YAY! I get to keep you mr. cutie! How about we call you Allen?" Before I could react to the name I was grabbed from Road by Tyki.

"You may NOT call this rat by my Allens name. Call it something else!" Tyki snapped, even though he had grabbed me by the scruff he was being quite gentle with me.

"Hey don't get mad Tyki, I just thought it could be funny to call him that since Allen did get away from you by turning into the same thing. But fine I'll call him Snowball" Road laughed Tyki finally handing me back to her.

"Fine, because of what my little bitch pulled I now hate these things. Just keep it away from me." He hissed and began walking towards the exit of the town. Road puffed out her cheeks before lifting me up and rubbing her nose against mine.

"Don't worry little fella he's not always that bad. He's just in a bad mood he didn't get to spend much time with his new pet." She said, if I hadn't known these people I'd feel sorry for the guy, but now I needed to get away. Suddenly even after everything, I wanted my friends back.

"Hey Tyki, go on ahead okay? I'm going to go and buy Snowball some food for when he gets hungry." Road smiled running off before Tyki could even give her an answer. I watched over her shoulder and saw Tyki lean up against a tree a serious thoughtful look on his face. Again if this man didn't try to rape me every time we encountered or wasn't my enemy in general. I'd feel sorry for him. Soon Road and I were back in the central of town. She didn't seem to know who I was and so I decided to take a chance to get away. I nudged her cheek with my nose causing her to stop and look to me.

"Snowball?" She asked and I gave her my best happy animal face before nudging my nose off somewhere in the woods then looked back at her. She starred at me for some time before smiling sadly.

"I get it. You have a home somewhere else. Too bad I bet you and I could have been great friends along with Tyki and everyone else. It's okay though go on…go home." She said and I couldn't help but lick her cheek before poking her cheek with my nose and scurry down her before scurrying across the street and into the trees climbing one where I could still see her. Road did look sad and I did feel bad but we were enemies and I knew the two of us could never be friends in any way. And the same goes for Tyki and I, or anyone else in the Noah family. I sat there watching Road until she walked away using the back of her hand to wipe at her eyes which made me feel even more horrible. Which reminded me, I needed to get back home it was getting dark. Running down the tree I made my way back onto the sidewalk and began running down it hoping I could get back to the Black Order. By the time I reached the edge of the forest where it would lead me back to the order the sun was already setting and I hadn't seen or heard my friends. I was losing hope when a group of three were coming up the side walk by the forest entrance.

"Don't worry Kanda we'll find him, kay?" I heard Lenalee say, my heart leapt in joy and I was about to run out to them but memories from earlier that day stopped me and I just shrunk back letting out a tiny whimper.

"Yea but the world is big especially now for him. I don't want him to get hurt and I need to apologize to him properly." Kanda's voice rang out before the disappeared into the brush of trees. Sighing I ran out into the street avoiding the many cars causing one to swerve but thankfully there was no crash and hurried into the trees trying to catch up to them as quickly as my tiny legs would let me. But they were already so far ahead of me. I panicked an in my mind I was screaming for them to wait but it came out like a screech and I began to whimper again. I was so tired and just couldn't run anymore. I had no idea if they had heard me or not until I was lifted someones head gently rubbing against my own. Opening my tired eyes I saw it was Kanda and I smiled nudging my nose against his nose before licking it.

"Lets get you home Moyashi, Komui has found a way to return you to normal." He said placing me onto the top of his head where I fell asleep from exhaustion. I woke again in the infirmary starring up at the ceiling taking a breath I lifted my arm and let out the breath I was holding elated to see my human arm once again. Looking to the clock that was in there it was barely eight and I was excited to know I had at least not missed all the meals of the day. Sitting up I draped my legs over the edge and stood. I still felt the wave of depression flowing through me. Kanda's hurtful words still stung and though everyone would be disappointed I headed back to my old room which I knew I still had access to. I knew no one would be expecting me to be awake just yet. Walking down the hallway my hands were stuffed into my pockets and I was starring ahead of me glad for the empty space. My room wasn't that far from the infirmary so getting there took no time at all. The door was unlocked still and I made my way inside and into the bathroom locking both doors as a precaution to what happened just two days ago.

"Master if you knew what was going on, you'd be so disappointed in me. You'd probably have stopped being my master and abandon me. I want to stop and I try to stop but I can't, I can't stop something that makes me feel better." I mutter mostly to myself rolling up the sleeve to my shirt I make two tiny incisions. One for the first night in Kanda's room when I could run and hide and the second one for today. Tears are running down my cheeks before I could even start the second one so I blindly cut feeling the warm liquid cascade down my arm. The feeling sending waves of pleasure through me as everything slowly swept away. I knew everyone was going to get angry with me even though some promised not to. I've seen what these things lead to and I know what was going to happen once they found out. After a while I clean both cuts and wrap them up with medical gauze. Hiding them with the long sleeved shirt I hide the tiny razor under a block of tile, it was my secure hiding place once everything was in its place I leave that dark room and make my way towards the cafeteria. I was hungry, not as hungry as I used to be, but hungry enough when you don't eat two meals in the day.

"Allen you're awake!" Lenalee cheers rushing over to me wrapping her arms around me and like my smiles I could only fake laugh but none the less it was the best laugh I could give.

"Go have a seat I'll get you your food. It's funny, Kanda left a bit ago to check up on you. It's weird that the two of you aren't coming back together." She said before running off and I feel myself go pale in the thought of Kanda possibly knowing what I was doing. Shacking the thought from my mind I sat at our usual table none the less becoming paranoid.

"Everything alright Allen?" Lavi asks and I look up to see him staring at me. In normal cases it would just be a stare but this one read that he knew I was hiding something.

"Yea just a bit exhausted from everything that went on today. Why wouldn't anything be alright?" I ask laughing nervously.

"Oh I don't know other than the fact you paled after speaking to Lavi and now that there is an angered Kanda standing behind you I guess could make anyone guess that you're hiding something." Lavi states matter of factly as Lenalee had returned. My head was downcast my hands clenched into tight fists. They knew and because of this I knew I was growing anxious waiting for the angered samurai behind me to start yelling or even for Lenalee to start yelling.

"Allen…" Lenalee began but I cut her off.

"I'm sorry! I couldn't help it, please…I'm sorry." I whimper my arms slowly beginning to encircle around myself. Everything was quiet and I'm surprised when a pair of arms wrap around me.

"Baka Moyashi!" His voice is full hurt and his hold only tightens around me. I can only lean into his touch trying to calm myself, trying to reassure myself that they didn't hate me. No yelling came from anyone, there wasn't even any lectures. Eventually we all went back to eating our meal normally like nothing happened. I could only hope that my world would return to normal.

"So Komui said he should have your full line of prescription ready for you in the morning, he's already explained everything to Kanda so you don't have to feel bad if the two of you end up pulling an all-nighter tonight." Lenalee speaks up and I groan out in frustration thumping my head against the table.

"Exactly how many prescriptions is he giving me?!" I ask reaching over to Kanda's hand hesitantly taking it into mine. I smile to myself when he himself closes his fingers around mine.

"Three, one for the dreams he said he isn't sure if there are any side-affects. Then you have your anti-depressants and the anti-anxieties." Lavi explains this time.

"….Komui is an ass." I mutter but give up either way. Looks like my life was about to get even more complicating.

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**Well there you have it two chapters in one day…YAY! Well I dunno how I came up with turning Allen into a sugar glider. All I knew was I didn't want him being turned into a cat since I've seen that done…..LOL xD. Well hope everyone likes the slightly comical chapter. There will be a few comical chapters here and there. But yea.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Okay well this is a shocker for me! A friend of mine has agreed to help me with this Fanfic, in the last chapter she had helped me with the part when Sugar-Glider Allen got picked up by Road. Hint that segment will be important for later on chapters. In either this chapter or the next chapter an OC character will be introduced. She belongs to my friend so I hope you stick with us to the end. Thanks and please review.**

***Warning* This chapter is a bit darker than the previously three at the beginning. Also there is lemony goodness in it as well…Sorry couldn't resist.**

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Chapter Four- Blow It Out

A good week had passed since the day I had been turned into a sugar glider and not even a day later Kanda was unfortunately sent out onto a mission. It was to a place where they heard rumors of their being innocence in a small town outside of Dublin, Ireland. The last that I heard from Komui they were getting close to locating the innocence so he still wasn't coming back to The Black Order quite yet. After my transformation incident I couldn't trust the prescriptions Komui had given me so everything had just become ten times worst. A few days ago Lenalee and Lavi were both sent out on missions and so I was finally complete left alone. I spent a lot of my time in my own room sitting in the middle of the bed rocking back and forth constantly. Overall since the day Kanda had left I couldn't help but cut a few times, the voices had returned and the first night on my own asleep I had encountered Tyki and Road once more and was able to barely break out from it before anything could happen like always; so now I wasn't sleeping anymore. To avoid any curious stares from anyone I had also stopped eating completely and just kept myself cooped up, Timcanpy would try and grab my attention but it would never work.

At the moment I had locked myself away in the bathroom laying on the tiled floor with tears streaming down my face. The voices wouldn't stop and I didn't know what to do and without Kanda or the others, there was no one there for me. After a bit I sit up and for a second time that day make more incisions up my arms watching in curiosity as the blood ran down my arm. I soon lay back onto the tiled floor where the blood began to collect in the already formed puddle. Blood was also caked into my hair and I slowly begin to become dizzy. Today was a really bad day with the heavy snowfall outside and no one coming to check on me yet. I was soon fading in and out of consciousness when I finally decided to sit up and clean up my cuts and wrap them before I began to clean the floor where I let a puddle form. I had a problem and I knew that but with how many relapses I've had now since Kanda had left. I couldn't go to Komui about it because the first thing he'd ask would be about me taking my prescriptions and the moment he knew I wasn't I'd be put under very careful watch. When I was sure everything was cleaned up I changed out of my pajamas and into my normal all black outfit making sure to keep my thumbs hooked into the wholes I created in the shirt sleeves then walked out of my room right as Komui walks up.

"Oh Allen, there you are I've been looking for you. Good news Kanda should be returning home sometime today. In the mean time I need you to meet up with Miranda and head into town for some grocery shopping. We're running low on things in the kitchen and Jerry is busy getting things ready for something. Could you meet up with her at the front gates?" I could only stare at Komui stunned trying to figure out what he could be cooking up now, but decide against it and just head off towards the main gate where I could already see Miranda.

"Good afternoon Miranda." I greet her with a smile and she to returns the smile.

"Good afternoon to you to Allen. How is everything?" She asks as we head out to leave towards the town.

"A bit rough but I'm hanging on. Everything will be better once Kanda gets back." I explain linking my hands behind my back looking up to the sky snow still falling heavily upon us. Miranda was one of the few who knew the predicament I was going through. Yes, she had over reacted upon finding out, but in the end became a great person to talk to when I was afraid to talk to Komui or Kanda. Most of the time she was the one I went to after relapsing and every time she was very supportive and would help me last a while before I had another urge.

"You'll get through this Allen. Just remember if you want to get to the first step of recovery, you must get rid of all your tools of self-harm." She explains resting her hand onto my head and gently patted it.

"I know…it's just so hard." I whisper finally looking down to my feet taking long steady breaths. After that we just walked in silence only one goal in our minds.

_Get the grocery shopping down before freezing half to death. _

We decided on getting all of the cold items done first so I could take them back to the Black Order. Yes it was almost below 0 but the cold food items could still spoil if not kept at a steady cold temperature. A few hours had passed by and the cold was beginning to make me feel quite tired and it was becoming harder to keep my eyes opened.

"Well that should be it for the cold food items Allen you can head back now. I shouldn't be long with the rest of the items. I'll meet you back at the Order." Miranda smiled handing me the last bag which contained a gallon of milk.

"Of course, be careful and keep warm. See you later." I wave easily lifting up the many bags we had acquired. Walking back to the order I never made it back. I had decided to take a rest at the last cross walk which would lead to the forest path of the Order. I was standing at the curb trying to get my eyes to focus or at least force my legs to move forward so I can get back half blindly. The bags were slowly weighing me down it was finally official that I was too tired and too weak to even move. I know Miranda was going to become worried the moment she found me. I was continuously trying to tell myself to move forward but the more I did the more I found myself leaning forward into the street. I could only pray that someone would come to my aid as everything kept blurring in and out.

"MOYASHI!" His voice rang out around me before arms are wrapped around me and pull me into a firm chest.

"…Kan…da." I manage out as all I want to do is fall asleep, but I knew once I did I'd be in the clutches of Tyki for quite a while…I couldn't risk that chance.

"Toma, take the bags and get them to Jerry." Kanda orders the finder as he lifts me into his arms, my head immediately lays itself onto his shoulder.

"So…sorry." I manage out once more as he begins running back towards the Order. Kanda doesn't say anything and keeps running. Once inside I knew I was being taken straight to the infirmary, but I was completely taken by surprise when I am taken to his room instead.

"What did you do Allen?! Fuck, you're an idiot you know that!" Kanda began rambling quickly getting my exorcist jacket off pausing with his hands pressed firmly onto the bed. He was towering over me and all I could do was stare at him tiredly. I would try to lift my arm up to cup his cheeks but they were so heavy and I couldn't move.

"Tell me everything, I beg you Allen. Do not let me find out the hard way." He said his face fighting itself to keep it serious looking but his eyes always spoke the truth. His eyes held so much worry in them. I knew he did genuinely care for me and I felt the cool liquid slip from my eyes. I hated seeing him like this cause I know every time I relapse, I hurt him to.

"I haven't eaten or slept since you've left and I couldn't help but cut. I'm terrified of taking the prescriptions afraid that they'll turn me into something again." I explain my voice cracking half way through explaining afraid to move now thinking Kanda would pull away from me and leave. I wouldn't be able to live then if he did.

"I'm sorry…I couldn't help it. I needed you so bad and I had no one else to go to that could help me if something did happen. If I slept I was afraid that Tyki and Road would keep me trapped within that dream world of theirs. I wanted you to come home…I needed you to come home. I'm not strong on my own anymore!" I cry out tightly shutting my eyes tightly feeling myself begin to shack. Kanda stays quiet and I fear the worst was going to happen; I freeze when his lips are suddenly upon mine one of his arms snacking around my thinning waist. I feel myself finally kiss him back my arms lifting and wrapping around his chest. We stayed like that kissing each other until the need for air became a necessity.

"Baka Moyashi…baka, baka, baka!" He repeated burying his face into my shoulder. I feel the drops of his own tears fall onto me as he too begins to shack his arm around my waist tightening around me.

"You need to stop, if not for yourself… at least stop for me, for your friends. Stop with the knowledge that General Cross wouldn't want you to drop to this level. Soon you're going to find yourself in a whole you can't find your way out of." He pleads to me, I couldn't respond to him because I knew if I made a promise that I'd stop, it would be a broken promise from the moment I'd utter the words. I couldn't lie to Kanda like that and I wouldn't lie to him.

"Kanda….I…" I try to say something but nothing comes out and I can only clutch onto him. I was slowly beginning to lose the very person I wanted to be with for so long. There was only so much one person could endure before they've reached their breaking point and I fear I was already reaching that point with Kanda.

* * *

"Let me in Moyashi and I will prove to you how much I love you and how much you mean to me." He whispers and I release my hold around his chest as he released my waist and I was once again lying flat on my back on the bed.

"I trust you Kanda…I know you will never hurt me intentionally." I whisper back to him giving him the best smile I could muster. I next find myself kissing Kanda back when his lips are upon mine the moment the words left my mouth. His hands cupped my cheeks and began to slowly run down my neck sending a pleasured shiver through me. His hands were so warm compared to my ice cold skin. I slowly snack my arms back around his chest as his hands are now running slowly along my sides. I feel his tongue slide along my bottom lip ask for entrance and I find myself complying, opening my mouth letting him dart his tongue inside and run along my own tongue. I hear myself gasp when his hands slip slightly under my shirt gently grabbing onto my thin waist. Slowly his hands begin to run back up my sides pushing the fabric of my shirt along with them. I feel myself to start to become nervous about him seeing all the scars, but I remind myself that he had already seen the majority of them. I run my own hands up his stomach beginning to unbutton the buttons of his exorcist jacket revealing he wore no shirt underneath and once I complete the process I brush my fingertips over the skin of his stomach earning shudders from him as I reached back up to his shoulders beginning to slip the fabric of his jacket down his arms. Soon the piece of clothing was completely removed and thrown to the floor somewhere as Kanda also removed my own shirt tossing it to the same general direction of where his jacket had landed. We both pause in that moment our foreheads connected together my hands rested on his shoulders while one his hands were gently pressed onto my chest his other hand the one keeping him propped up. I could feel the heat radiating from his body as his hand ran down my chest slowly causing a small cat like moan to pierce the quiet room and soon his arm was once again wrapped around my waist lifting me off the bed forcing my arms to wrap around his neck as he brought our chests together.

"Kanda…"I moan again shuddering as the warmth ran through me, I feel his lips against the skin of my neck as he kissed and nipped at it. I feel wave after wave of pleasure rush through me that I hardly notice when I am lying against bed once more both of his hands running along the skin of my chest.

"Let me take you Allen." He huskily whispers into my his warm breath tickling the skin of my ear as he takes the lobe into his mouth and lightly nips at it. I let out a gasp my back arching into his touches. I feel his hands reach the hem of my black pants.

"Please Allen, tell me what you want." He continues his movements pausing in a torturous way.

"Kanda…I want you…I want only you to take me." I gasp out and once more his lips are upon mine as his hands easily undo the button and zipper of my pants. In a swift movement Kanda already has both the pants and the boxers pulled down my legs. The cold hair nipped at my now exposed skin and I gasp from the coldness, the action allows Kanda to plunge his tongue back into my mouth. My own hands run back up his chest and up his neck until I reach the hair tie that was keeping it held up. With a simple easy tug, I pull the little rubber-band from his hair feeling it cascade around us before I push my fingers into the soft strands. I soon feel the warm skin of legs rub along my own earning more gasps and tiny cat like moans from me. Once again his hand runs along the skin of my stomach at the same time his mouth breaks away from mine and he is once again nipping at my neck. I throw my head back a deeper moan escaping me when his hand gently runs along my hardening length sending shudders of pleasure up my spine.

"K-Kanda…" I moan out his name and I feel his lips smirk against my skin his hand gently but firmly wraps around my length slowly moving up and down.

"Oh god…" I let out in pleasure my hips slightly bucking into his moving hand my own hands returning to his shoulders. After nipping at my neck a few more time Kanda begins kissing down my chest. I can only lay there as my breathing became heavier and more moans leave me. With him kissing his way down my chest it forces my arms to drop to the bed and they immediately grab tightly onto the sheets as I feel pleasure beginning to build up inside of me slowly. His mouth for a short time stops at my navel his tongue playful playing with my belly button sending even more ways of pleasure through me.

"Kanda~!" I moan out my hips beginning to jerk even more. My eyes widen when a large spasm rushes through me and I scream out in pleasure from Kanda's mouth wrapping around my length and him letting out his own moan which had sent vibrations through me. With every motion from him that he made I let out a moan his one arm holding my hips down as I tried to buck them. Wave after wave I feel the pleasure hit me repeatedly and it was building even high within that I felt like I wanted to explode.

"KAN-da!" I half scream out half moan when the wall of pleasure explodes within me and not long after I feel like I'm coming down from the high I usually only felt when I harmed myself.

"I'm hardly finished with you my Moyashi." He then whispers into my ear before guiding me to straddle his lap sitting up on my knees. He positioned a few of his fingers at my mouth giving me a serious look.

"Suck on them, you'll thank me later." He says and I easily comply wrapping my mouth around his fingers following every bit of instructions whenever he gives them to me. His fingers are soon replaced with his tongue, it confuses me at first but then I feel a slight pain course through me from behind and his free hand keeps my head in place as Kanda continues to kiss me. He slowly begins to move his own finger in and out of me waiting for me to adjust before slipping the second one into me. My hands tightly clutch onto his shoulders feeling more pain course up my spine as he continues to move them in and out of me also making scissoring motions. He continues this a while longer before he pulls them out and something else is placed at my entrance.

"Allen I will not lie to you this is going to make you feel pain that you've never felt before, but…I swear it will get better. Trust me." He says seriously his one hand brushing the knuckles of his fingers over my cheek pushing his fingers into my hair.

"I trust you Kanda." I smile and once more his lips are upon mine his other hand grabbing onto my waist pushing me down onto his hardened length, him entering me. I let out a pained screamed into the kiss my fingernails digging into the skin of his shoulders. Neither of us moved except for when he broke the kiss his lips hovering over my own. I felt tears leak down my face.

"I won't move until you're adjusted." He says comfortingly and soon I slowly feel the pain subside as the hand of his which was in my hair travels down to my waist.

"Kanda…please, I want you." I whisper my hips slightly twitch, I watch a smirk dance across his lips before his hands guide my hips to move up and down on him. The first few times all I could feel was pain but the more the both of us moved the more I began to feel pleasure.

"Oh god Allen you're so tight." He grunts into my ear nipping on the lobe again. My fingers were pushed into his hair again and my head pushed back letting out pleasure moans as I moved on him. His mouth trails kisses down my neck before roughly biting onto my skin causing me to scream out his name again.

"My given name Allen, I want you to scream it." He then says our eyes locking making everything around us seem to stop as I feel him throb inside of me. I lean my head down to kiss him gently Kanda returning it before abruptly breaking it.

"Allen…" He moans my name and I could feel it, the similar feeling to when I exploded before but it was different in its own way.

"Kanda…?" I moan out as I knew he was coming close to coming inside of me.

"Scream out my name Allen." He says his arms wrapping around my waist as he thrusted into me much more quickly and a bit more roughly.

"YU~!" I finally scream out my hands gripped onto his shoulders feeling him release inside of me. As the tension in our bodies relax the both of us collapse onto the bed, me still wrapped in his arms.

* * *

"My Moyashi." He says with a smile bringing up one of his hands to brush his fingers through my white hair.

"My Kanda." I say back leaning up and gently placing my lips against his own and then we just lie there just staring at one another.

"We should probably get up, get showered and head to dinner. There is something I need to show you." Kanda smiles.

"Alright." I nod and with his help the both of us shower, together of course and are soon on our way to the cafeteria. My hand linked with his own and my head was rested against his shoulder.

"Allen, I want you and I to be together and I don't want you to be afraid to show it. I will never be ashamed of you and I want you to keep that in mind. You are very precious to me." Kanda says suddenly stopping us right before entering the cafeteria doors. I smile up at Kanda reaching my hands up and cupping his cheeks before lifting onto my tip toes and kissing him gently again.

"I want to be with you Kanda for as long as you will have me." I say and he smiles we take each other's hands' once again before walking into the cafeteria where I am rendered speechless when everyone in the Black Order shouts out surprise. I could only blink starring at the banner which read _Happy Birthday Allen_.

"Oh yea…today is that day isn't it?" I ask feeling my face heat up and soon everyone is rendered silent and starring at Kanda who is now laughing from my statement.

"Yes, it is that day. Happy Birthday Moyashi and tomorrow is going to be an even better day." He says linking his fingers under my chin lifting my face up to look up at him before kissing me. Yes today actually turned out to be not that bad. When my days are gray, Kanda is sure to light them up when he is around.

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**YAY for chapter four! I hope everyone enjoys it especially the little lemony goodness I added ^_^. Don't forget to review kay it'll ensure I update even quicker. Reviews give me energy to type!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Yay cheers for another chapter to be written…ENJOY!**

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Chapter Five- Save All His Ashes for Me

I was sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria watching as most of everyone was getting drunk here at the surprise birthday party that was thrown for me. Lavi for one was alongside Komui as one of the most drunk so far. The two were having a drinking contest, if Lavi wins he has official permission to date Lenalee, but if he loses the two have to end their relationship. Lenalee wasn't too happy about this arrangement, but she gave up after they went through their second large bottle of vodka. I was glad that thanks to living with Cross for most my life that I have come to have a certain hate for alcohol. Never will I ever try it.

"Hey…why all by yourself?" I look up to see my handsome boyfriend standing there with two plates of cake and I can only chuckle at his question.

"I'm avoiding getting possibly dragged into the drinking contest honestly. I'm fine sitting here watching the entertainment safely from the sidelines." I state as he sat down beside me placing one of the plates in front of me.

"I actually have to agree with you. The two of them are both idiots if you ask me. I don't understand why Lenalee always puts up with them." Kanda sighs taking a bite of the cake while I absent mindedly play with mine.

"You still don't have your complete appetite back do you?" He then asks and now I find myself the one sighing and leaning over to lay my head onto his shoulder.

"I've already been forced to eat three large pieces of cake. One from Lenalee, one from Lavi and one from Krory….I don't think I could eat anymore since I had ate those on top of a large plate of other foods. I'm just too tired now to eat anymore and just want to sleep, but I can't sleep because if I do I'll encounter Tyki and Road." I ramble on slowly falling into another fit of insanity. Kanda only hugs me and quietly shushes me brushing his fingers through my hair in a way to calm me.

"Then let's get back to the room. You're going to take your medications now that I am here to make sure nothing weird happens. Allen you will get past this, I don't know how but we will find a way." He says to me wrapping his arm around my shoulders and helps me up the two of us easily slipping out since Lavi and Komui were unknowingly keeping everyone pretty distracted. As we walk back to Kanda's room I feel my eyes drooping and each time I'm jerked back awake because every time I begin to fall into the blackness I see the opening to Roads room and I see Tyki below, just watching, just waiting for me to enter into that world. I feel my breathing become erratic and I slightly start to stumble from how tired I was becoming.

"Stay with me Allen, don't let them pull you in. You can fight it." Kanda says and I begin to whimper when Roads laughs begin in my head. Kanda squeezes my shoulder reassuringly as we finally reach his room. He lays me on the bed and rushes to his bathroom to get the pills and a glass of water.

_Come to us our sweet Allen._

I let out a strangled whine beginning to panic as I dig my nails into my legs my head moving side to side trying to fight the overwhelming sense of wanting to sleep. Kanda is soon back over to me and helps me sit up. I quickly take the pill and down the water curling up into my boyfriend the moment I do.

"The pill will also put you to sleep. I'll be with you every moment." He says wrapping his arms around me. I rest my head onto his shoulder the overwhelming panic of not knowing if it was going to work coursing through me.

"Kanda…I'm…I'm scared." I cry out sniffling as I can't control the panicked tears.

"Everything will be fine Moyashi, I'll make sure if this doesn't work to get you out and away from those damned Noah's." He promises and finally and unwantingly do I fall into the blackness of sleep. It's like I was in a pool of water just floating there as I stare up into a blue light. Unlike the other times before this was very calming and I don't feel threatened in any way. It feels like eternity when the light finally gets brighter and it consumes me.

When it vanishes I am in a completely new environment but I could tell that it wasn't real. I could tell it was only just a dream. Thanks to the world Road and Tyki would always drag me into it made me aware of everything. After a while I begin to follow the sounds of fighting, sword fighting to be specific. I reach a river area keeping behind a tree peering into the clearing to see just multiple black shadows encircling Kanda who was wearing an old style Samurai outfit crouched down in a fighting stance. It is then that I realize where I am…I was in Kanda's dream.

"Take that you evil scum! No one touches my Moyashi and gets away with it!" He yells and begins fighting the black shadows and I am just left there in too much shock to even think. Was he dreaming that he is fighting to rescue me? Suddenly I am brought out of my shock when Kanda is pinned to the ground one of the shadows about to bring their sword down upon him. I can only react.

"KANDA!" I scream about to run out and help when the entire area around us ripples before fading to black and Kanda is lying back in his normal pajama clothes starring at me with a dumbfounded look and I knew I looked just as confused as he did.

"Is this part of the dream?" He finally asks and I can only laugh nervously.

"Um…I think Komui really needs to stop using me as a test subject with his new creations." I say walking the rest of the distance between Kanda and I lowering myself to sit next to him.

"If he's not careful, I will kill him if anything happens to you." Kanda sighs forcing me to lay my head into his lap.

"Well you can officially say that this has to be one of his more ingenious side-affects to something." I chuckle half-heartedly.

"Unfortunately I have to agree with you, though…I still say that bastard is and idiot. Along with that Usagi." He says closing his eyes his hand running through my hair.

"I actually wander if we'll be tired when we wake up seeing as we're actually talking while in this black dream world." I say sitting up after a while.

"I honestly don't know Moyashi, now lay back down." He says and I only chuckle again.

"I want to try something actually." I say lifting up my discolored arm starring at it for only a moment before lightly touching the black floor with the tips of my fingertips. In an instant everything once again ripples turning the area around us into a field where Kanda and I usually go to train at.

"Well….this is sure interesting enough." I say my eyes wide from what just had occurred. I was trying to figure out how in the hell all this was happening. I soon find myself lying on my back, the grass of the dream field feeling so real. Kanda straddled me each of his hands placed by my shoulders as he stared down at me with a smirk.

"You forever amaze me Moyashi." He says before leaning down and kissing me, I eagerly kiss him back my arms wrapping around his neck pulling him down completely onto me.

"Aren't we excited?" He chuckles once we part and I feel my face heating up knowing I was blushing.

"I'm just glad I am seeing something beautiful instead of something scary." I say as our foreheads rested against one another. Kanda nods his head before rolling us over onto our sides keeping me held close into his arms.

"So what exactly do you have planned tomorrow? You mentioned something about it." I ask tilting my head up slightly to stare up at Kanda.

"It's a surprise Moyashi, you'll have to wait and see." He says and soon we both close our eyes relaxing in our calming state. As I open my eyes again I am starring once again up at the blue light that slowly began to fade away and I am left in the darkness, this time I was unafraid as the water around me began to slowly swirl around me and I find myself being launched into another bright light, though this time it's me opening my eyes to stare up at the ceiling of Kanda's room.

"So it looks like we're both waking up at the same time." I hear Kanda say turning my head to see him sitting up and slightly stretching.

"Yea…I am defiantly going to have to thank Komui for this pill. It's amazing." I yawn sitting up myself and stretching as well.

"I'll say though it can wait until sometime later. Now let's get ready and headed out before anyone else starts to wake up and tries to intervene." Kanda says slipping out of the covers heading to his closet where no his and my clothes both reside in.

"Ok, ok let's get going." I smile climbing out of bed walking up to behind Kanda wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my forehead onto the back of his shoulder. Kanda soon finds a way to turn in my arms without forcing me to break my hold wrapping his own arms around my shoulders his cheek resting onto the top of my head.

"I want to believe that you're improving but I know that your mind is still heavily trapped in that darkness. I love you Allen and I want you to always remember that." He says and I just smile. For all the times the two of us had always fought he surprises me every day proving just how much he actually knows me. He truly does know me so well.

"I know you do Kanda and I love you to. I will try to stop but there will be times where I find myself I can't help it." I voice out and we stand like that for a few moments more before finally finishing with changing. Taking my hand into his Kanda and I maneuver through the Orders' empty hallways keeping an eye out for anyone who might be awake this early. We were both sneaking out before anyone could question where we were going. Kanda truly wanted this to be a surprise and I could tell he didn't want anyone interrupting us in anyway. Timcanpy flew by my head up until we made it to the gates where he stopped flying and headed back down the hallway to Kanda's room. He knew they'd be able to track us with him. As he sneak out the gates I'm struck in awe at the beautiful sunrise as Kanda leads me into the woods towards town. I can only smile knowing how lucky I was to have him as my boyfriend.

* * *

_**Lenalee's POV:**_

I starred at my brother and my boyfriend who was both collapsed unconscious at the table in the cafeteria bottles of vodka and some other alcoholic drinks spread about around them. I couldn't believe the two of them, all this because Lavi and I were dating. I hope my brother does know that even if my wonderful boyfriend had lost we'd never break up. I had just gotten back from Kanda's room him and Allen both weren't there. On instinct I had also checked Allen's complete room and then the infirmary. I needed to reassure myself that nothing had happened while everyone was asleep. Now I was in a more state of concern because the both of them were nowhere in the Black Order. I had gone and checked the security cameras and found that the two of them had left the Order a good two hours ago. I was worried and I wanted to find them to make sure that everything was alright. Sighing I pull an air horn from my purse pushing the button giggling when I watched both men jump up screaming.

"Lenalee!" Komui whines hugging onto me and I just sigh beginning to try and push him off of me.

"Let go of me brother! I need both or your help to find Kanda and Allen! They left two hours ago and neither of them have their Golems so we can put a location on where they're at!" I snap finally wriggling out of my brothers hold and skipped over to Lavi wrapping my arms around his arm.

"Well they couldn't have gotten far. Let's head out and find them just in case something is wrong." He says and soon I find myself with both boys who are in a never ending fight. One is trying to prove that the other isn't good enough for me and the other trying to prove that he was. We end up with Miranda tagging along with us the both of us keeping to the back watching as both boys try to outdo the other.

"If Allen is with Kanda most likely the two of them are truly fine." Miranda finally says her hands linked together behind her as we walk down the street of Paris.

"That is most likely the case but we just need to make sure that Allen is okay. What if he gets separated from Kanda and something happens. None of us would know." I point out and I see Miranda only nodding her head in agreement. Over the time she had been with us she has matured and won't freak out as frequently. She had actually stepped to be a mother like figure for Allen once she had found what was going on with him. Since then and since Kanda had stepped in we found him slowly improving but I could tell since the mission Kanda had gone on, that improvement was just all a lie.

"Oh my, who is that?" I am brought out of my reverie to see my brother standing up straight a tiny blush line across his nose. I follow his line of stare to see that he was staring at a woman wearing what looked like a red with gold designs Chinese Yukata. She had creamy pale skin and I swear she could pass of as a porcelain doll with how flawless it looked. Topping it off she had what looked like very soft silky black hair which ran down to her knees. With how far we were from her I couldn't tell what color her eyes were even though she stood sideways to us. She was talking to people as if she was trying to find someone or a trying to find directions to someplace. With the looks of things and how my brother was now acting, our search for Kanda and Allen has now become a mission of must talk to the beautiful woman. Why oh why is my brother such an idiot?!


	6. Chapter 6

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well I hope this chapter is longer than the last one LOL xD My friend Sharva and I have lots and lots and lots of things planned for this story. It has been officially decided that when this one ends there will be a sequel. I just hope none of you hate us with how we plan to end this…Nyah~!**

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Chapter Six- Curse Me

I couldn't believe this my brother was actually going forward with this even Lavi was going along with it as well. Miranda had left to go back to the order a few moments ago and I think I should have as well but knew that if anyone I'd have to step in if my brother got out of hand. As we were following the woman I finally acquired that she had green eyes, we really weren't all that far off from her and I was still in slight shock at how beautiful she was. I just wanted to get back to finding Allen even if it turned out that he was just fine, I still would rather be doing that than tailing after some random woman.

"Brother is this really necessary?! I mean really." I finally voice out as he completely ignored me next and I felt like activating my boots just so I could kick him in the face. But before anything could be done Komui is suddenly running forward yelling at the woman that something is on her. Of course the blushing idiot would rather drop everything to help this woman who was obviously just trying to mind her own business. Before Komui could even lay his hand onto her shoulder his wrist is grabbed and thrown over onto the ground. It's at that moment that I have decided, maybe I could learn to like this girl. That's when I decide to run up.

"Do not touch me please." She said, it sounded like she was trying to be nice about it but it was obvious that she just wanted to hurt my brother for trying to touch her. That was fine with me actually, he needed a good kick in the ass sometimes.

"I am really sorry about my brother he never thinks before he acts." I say as Lavi and I reach the two. My brother was lying on the ground with obvious hearts in his eyes and I can only sigh.

"It's no problem but maybe he should learn some manners about coming up from behind someone and trying to grab them." The woman said more politely this time as she turned to face and speak to me. I hold in the surprise gasp I am holding from how beautiful this woman is.

"There it is again! Ma'am there is something hiding in your hair on your neck! I will protect you!" Komui screams and I am kicking my heal onto the top of Komui's head knocking him back onto the ground.

"I'm not in any danger thank you. Now is there something else I could help you people with?" She asks crossing her arms, yep my brother was an idiot. He could piss of even a random passerby.

"Well thanks to my brother we've been following you for quite sometime and notice that you might be lost. Maybe we can help. My name is Lenalee by the way." I say introducing myself holding my hand out to the mysterious woman. I watch her relax a bit more with a sigh.

"My name is Asarina. And I am looking for a place called The Black Order. I was sent here to give Chief Officer Komui Lee a message." She immediately says and I am left in some sort of shock wandering who exactly is this woman and why would she have a message for my brother. "Anyways it seems no one around here knows where the black order is let alone if it even exists." She then adds looking frustrated.

"That's because to the general public it doesn't exist. The idiot on the ground is my brother Komui Lee. We're from the Black Order. Maybe we should head there now. By the tone of your voice this message has to be very important." I then say as Lavi helps my brother up and begin walking back towards where the Order was.

"That would be wise. I was informed that my message will come to a shock. I also have a verbal message for a boy named Allen Walker. Will I find him at the order as well?" She then asks and I sigh the both of us following behind the boys.

"Yes you will but at the moment we are searching for him since his boyfriend and him vanished this morning going god knows where." I explain brushing my fingers through my hair which I hadn't been able to put up today unfortunately so it was really beginning to annoy me.

"I see, well after I give the paper message off to your brother I believe I can help you search for him. I have a resource that will allow you to see this entire town and everyone in it." She smiles and I find myself smiling back at her.

"Sounds like a plan if you ask me. And when we leave it'll be just you and I." I sigh not wanting to drag my brother again. That would be horrible, and I had already spent my fair share of the day with him. It didn't take us very long to get back to the order and soon I find all of us in my brother's office. Lavi stood off to the side leaning against the bookshelf while Asarina and I sat on the couch across from the desk Komui sat at.

"Okay now down to business Ms. Asarina…" He began but the green eyed woman only held her hand up.

"Please Komui sir just Asarina." She said laughing lightly as she lowered her hand once more into her lap. She sat very straight and very stiff. I sat sideways watching her noticing something was moving within her hair and so I saw what my brother meant. The woman probably did know about it so again it proved how much of an idiot my brother was.

"Asarina…before you give me the paper message. Who is it from, may I ask?" He asked leaning back into his chair crossing his legs. It was very rare to see him serious but I could tell he knew this situation was very important.

"The message is from General Cross Marian. He told four days ago that this message get to as soon as possible" She says and I find my jaw dropping.

"But, the general is dead! Yes we never found his body but Allen had witnessed the whole thing!" I find myself half yelling as I stood to my feet. I knew if Allen were to find out about this he would act irrationally and go off looking for the man he viewed as a father. He could also reject the imformation and get thrown into an even deeper state of depression and would probably really then try committing suicide. From the looks on Komui's face I could tell he was thinking the same thing as me. None of us could chance Allen finding out about this. The situation was just too risky.

"Can I see the note please and then upon what the note says I will have you call General Cross to prove that he is still alive." Komui said his voice even more serious than before holding his hand out to Asarina for her to give him the note. I watch her nod her head pulling a folded piece of paper from her pocket and hand it to Komui. Lavi and I both watch him as he unfolds the paper and begins to read it before sighing and pushing the phone towards Asarina for her to call him.

"It's a note from General Cross. It reads, don't worry I will be stopping in very soon to check up on that idiot apprentice of mine." He says but I knew he still wants that voice proof.

"As you wish Chief Officer Komui." She nodded standing from the couch taking the phone from Komui who had switched it on to speaker and she dialed a number. We all wait patiently as we listen to it ring continuously.

"I had a feeling you'd be calling me Asarina. Is my idiot apprentice with you by chance?" He asks and I couldn't believe my ears at what I was hearing. That was General Cross's voice, no mistake about that but I already see Komui with the voice recognition device out and analyzing everything being said.

"No he is not General, from what I was told sir him and his boyfriend have been missing since early this morning." She explains to him switching her weight to on foot.

"Chief Komui please tell me she isn't serious. Please tell me I don't need to hurry my journey even more to rescue that apprentice of mine?" He asks a deep chuckle resonating from him next. I hear Komui let out a sigh and new that the voice recognition came back positive.

"No he isn't in any trouble though for a bit I would like to keep Allen unaware of you being alive until you get here. I believe there is something you should know upon your arrival." Komui explains and I can only close my eyes sadly at the thought of Allens master finding out about his bad addiction. The phone is soon handed to Komui being switched off of speaker. And it was a good thing to shortly after we all turn to see Kanda and Allen walk in hand in hand.

"There you are Allen where were you and Kanda all morning?" Lavi asks, Komui had paused in talking and I know it was to let General Cross listen to his apprentice speak.

"Kanda took me out to some cottage he found out in the woods on the other side of town. It was wonderful." For once I am seeing a genuine smile on his face.

"That was nice of you Kanda, was this the date you're talking about taking him on before you had left on that mission in Ireland?" I ask the dark haired man next to Allen, Kanda only rolls his eyes pulling Allen closer to him.

"I also wanted to stop by and thank Komui, those pills you gave me to stop the dreams. Wow…yea they really are something. The side-affect was amazing." He said and I knew me and Lavi's mouths were dropped open and looking at Allen like he had grown two heads.

"I'm glad to hear that Allen how about you tell me all about it later. I would like you to take miss Asarina here and show her around the place. I need to keep Kanda for a bit." My brother explains, I just hoped that Asarina would not say anything to Allen about Cross.

"Of course, this way Ms. Asarina." Allen says motioning for her to head to the door first, he was always a gentleman and even after his personality did a 180 on us.

"This should be fun, and no worries Chief Officer Komui, I will respect your wishes and not say anything." She said nodding her head to all of us then headed out the door followed by an obviously confused Allen. Once the door was shut and we heard the two walk off Kanda finally turned and faced my brother.

"What is it you need to speak to me about? I really hope you're not sending me onto another mission again. I don't plan on having a repeat of Allen…" Kanda began to say but my brother silenced him by holding his hand up.

"Right now that is something not to be said at this moment…go ahead General." Komui said turning the phone back onto speaker.

"So my idiot apprentice is making everyone worried. Now I really cannot wait until I set foot into that place. So tell me Yu Kanda, are you and Allen really dating?" The shock covered over Kanda's face was priceless before it turned to a look of concern.

"Yes we are dating sir…but knowing of your return and that you are actually not dead worries me greatly. Not that I'm not glad you're alive, which I am very glad you are. I'm just more concerned over what this will do to my Moyahi's health." He says and I had this feeling General Cross would chuckle like he normally would like the crazy man that he was, but I am shocked when I hear the man sigh.

"Something tells me that I will have to approach this in an as painless process as possible. I will not ask anything more knowing full well that this sounds like a delicate situation. I will see you all in a few days." He said before the line was disconnected. I looked over to Kanda and now I was concerned, everyone in the room knew that something bad was going to occur the day General Cross would reach The Black Order.

"Komui…" Kanda says looking up to my brother now.

"I know, let Krory and Miranda know as well, but we need as many eyes on Allen as possible. I don't know how Cross will act once he finds out about Allen's' condition." Komui says and we just all nod our heads to him. The next few days were going to be quit long in deed.

* * *

_**Asarina's POV-**_

I was walking beside Allen shocked at how much he looked similar to my mother, but that wasn't possible. According to my father my mother had died after she had left. Not only that this boy was very short, in fact to me he was a pip squeak. At the same time I felt intrigued by his appearance with his silver eyes and his white hair which matched the snow on the ground outside. As we walked I listen to him ramble on about everything he showed me her at this place called The Black Order.

"Do you ever stop rambling?" I finally ask, I didn't mind talkative people, but damn he took it to another level of talkativeness!

"Oh! I'm so sorry Ms. Asarina you're probably tired and wish to rest! Maybe we can head over to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat and you can ask me whatever you like. I'm sorry for being rude." Once again he is rambling and I can't help but hold my hand up quickly to shut him up. Which thankfully he does immediately.

"Please just call me Asarina and I apologize for seeming rude. Yes, I am very tired for traveling so sitting and resting and drinking some tea would be very appreciated. Once we are seated with our meals and beverages we can begin talking again, but please for now just hush and lead the way." I say to him wanting nothing but a little bit of peace and quiet. Though I knew that was going to be short lived here soon, we had barely began walking again when I felt the little one move around at the back of my neck and move to the top of my head.

"Oh come on mother he's not that talkative as that one woman we had to endure on the train here from Moscow!" I can only sigh, I look over to see Allen just starring and I can only smirk.

"What?" I ask playfully wandering if he was going to flip out like most people do. But, his answer only shocks, just like his appearance had.

"He spoke…" He had said instead and I can only stare at Allen with an arched eyebrow.

"Okay you're more shocked at him speaking and not that he's a dragon?" I ask, I was very curious to his answer.

"No offense ma'am but I fight Akuma and the Noah Family for a living. There isn't much that shocks me anymore." He says then gives me a sheepish smile. "Can I pet him?" He asks and I find myself sighing for the hundredth time that day.

"Of course Allen Walker." I say and I watch him reach up and pet my little dragons head, though my dragon is only small for convenience until we get outside to fly then he transforms into a size much more magnificent.

"What's his name?" He finally asks after his hand is returned to his side.

"His name is Narul. I have had him since I was seven when he first hatched." I explain lifting Narul from my head and cradling him in my arm using my other hand to pet down his fire colored red scales.

"He is very cute Asarina." He compliments and I nod my head in thanks. We walk for a few moments longer until we reach the cafeteria each getting our meals then finding a place to sit at across from one another.

"So Allen, are you an exorcist?" I ask after we are silently eating for a few minutes.

"Yes I am though at the moment I am temporarily on suspension for medical reasons." He explains before taking a small bite of the sub sandwich he got.

"I see, well I was sent her to deliver a message to Chief Officer Komui and you though now my orders are to not tell you. The person who gave me the message will be here in a few days to tell you themselves. It's nothing bad so don't worry too much about it, and it's a surprise of who the person is so don't ask me." I explain next finding him sighing that he wasn't allowed to ask me now. None the less I watch him as he shrugs to himself and forgets about it returning to his food. I feel Narul nudge my face and I advert my eyes to look down at him.

"Māmā?" He asks and I know he can see it as well.

"Băochăí yīgè wŏ kànzhe tā shí, méiyŏu rén zuò érzi.*" I tell him and he only nods, I find Allen just staring at me and I only give him a smile.

"Don't worry about it I was only telling him not to be afraid this place is safe." I easily and Allen only nods his head to me returning to his food. I return to eating my food as well sharing some with Narul before he fell asleep into my lap. It wasn't long until we were joined by that black haired man named Kanda. With how the two of them acted with one another I could see just how much they loved one another and I knew I needed to protect that even though I had my own agenda to complete. And that was something I would unfortunately hate to do, but I had no choice. Until then I will enjoy myself and become friends with Allen, he did seem like a very nice person and I really wanted to learn more about him.

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**Well there you have chapter six! Yea chapter second chapter done in one day! Now on to try and complete a third chapter before I have to go into work!**

**Oh the things said:**

**Băochăí yīgè wŏ kànzhe tā shí, méiyŏu rén zuò érzi = **_**Keep an eye on him when no else does son**_** in traditional chinese.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well I actually have to say that I am truly enjoying typing this story. I haven't had this much fun since I started Young, but unfortunately Young has gone downhill and I have no motivation to keep that one going at the moment for I have no ideas. This one thankfully my friend Sharva is helping me keep motivated with all the ideas she throws my way. I only hope I can put all them in. LOL!**

**Also treat this chapter as sort of a filler chapter. We are getting close to the turning point of the story though there is still quite a bit that is going to happen. Don't forget to review and I should have another chapter up tonight sometime. But that is only if I can collaborate with Sharva first.**

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Chapter Seven- Sold Him

It had been a couple days since Asarina arrived to The Black Order and I had been noticing Kanda was acting strange. I couldn't place my finger onto it and I began to worry again and I felt my mind lowering into that ever familiar darkness it was always going to. Lately whenever Kanda goes to train, I make up that I'm going to go see Komui to do our normal thirty minute talk but instead I escape to my old room and sit in the semi dark bathroom pulling up the loose tile I had made picking up the tiny razor I hide under it. First I clean and sanitize it, the last this I needed was for one of my cuts to get infected. I would sit by the window behind the tub my head leaned onto the glass after making the incision feeling the release I always loved when I did this. I watch the birds fly outside just sitting there knowing I didn't have much longer to keep this up. Eventually Kanda would go to Komui and find out that I was lying and then it would end once again and I would be heavily watched. My life was defiantly complicated.

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**Kanda's POV-**

Lately I've been noticing Allen has been lying to me and I knew why he was but I wanted to keep myself believing that my Moyashi just wanted time to himself. It was any day now that General Cross would be here and the truth I had to keep from him would finally be over. I was lying on the floor of the dojo room heavy breaths coming in and out of me as I stared up at the ceiling wandering when was the last time that Allen and I had actually trained with one another. It had to have been since right before General Cross took him away. After that I remember Komui send us to certain coordinates and when we reached a half dying Allen I knew from that moment on nothing was ever going to be the same.

"Um…Kanda?" I'm brought from my thoughts and I look over to the little red dragon who belonged to Asarina.

"Yes Narul what is it?" I ask sitting up looking to the little guy noticing he was slightly nervous and I wandered why. I remember Asarina explaining to us that he is 20 in human years but in dragon years he is still only 10. So his mind was still quite young and naïve.

"I was wandering what it usually means when someone goes to part in their life to self-harm themselves?" He asks and I feel my heart skip a beat.

"Where did you see something like this?" I ask knowing just what his question meant my worries coming to life.

"Allen's room in his bathroom…I'm sorry if I did something wrong Kanda." He said looking down sadly to the floor and I only pat him on the head.

"Don't worry you didn't, just go find your mother. I'll take care of everything." I hear myself say before jumping to my feet abandoning Mugen there running past Lenalee who I guess was trying tell me something. Someone was with her but I paid no attention.

"Kanda?!" She asks loudly.

"I have to get to Allen!" I hear myself shout and I knew that was enough for her to hear and I knew her and whoever else was with her was following. I get easily get to Allens bathroom and manage to pin him to his back knocking the razor across the room before he has the chance to cut again. His eyes are wide in fear from being caught and every time I catch him I can't be completely angry with him. There was something wrong with him in his head and it is a slow process to revert him back.

"K-Kanda." He stutters out not even trying to move.

"You need to fucking stop this damn it! Everything is alright now, you have to stop!" I snap collapsing onto him finally my forehead pressed onto his chest.

"I'm curious…when did this start?" I feel Allen stiffen under me at the voice. Things had just gotten worst.

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_**Allens POV-**_

I couldn't believe my ears, that voice wasn't here, couldn't be here! I just keep my eyes focused on the ceiling above. I was going to tell Kanda I needed to get to the infirmary because my last cut was unfortunately deep enough to cause me to bleed to death. I slowly feel myself start to shack when I catch the glimpse of long red hair and large hands pressing something over the bleeding cut. My lips begin to tremble next and I close my eyes briefly before opening them turning my head to lock eyes with my master. The master who I watched first handedly get murdered by Tyki. All I could do was stiffen even more and watch as my world faded to black dropping myself into that pool of water.

"I told you it would be a surprise." I spin around to see Asarina there in my dream world.

"But I watched him die! This can't be possible!" I yell digging my hands into my hair and I only hear her sigh.

"I know, but he is alive you only saw Tyki's final attack. It should have been fatal but in reality it wasn't by just a few inches. Your master is quite alive and well." She says walking over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I have had Narul watching over you Allen because I knew your mind was anything but stable. You should use this time with your master to heal. Become strong again so when the time comes you can face your enemies and your fears." She says, I could only nod my head closing my eyes hearing her say something but I couldn't make it out because I am once more opening my eyes staring at the infirmary ceiling once more. I sigh turning my head to the window seeing that it was thankfully still light out. I knew I hadn't been out for very long.

"So are you going to answer my question this time Allen?" I hear myself take in a strangled gasp as I fight back the tears that threatened to spill over.

"I…I…" I try to speak but nothing would come out, I knew he already knew the answer to the question but I was unable to get myself to answer him.

"ALLEN!" He yells sternly causing me to jump to a sitting position and stare at him. His eyes were blazing with anger and I couldn't tell if they were directed at me or not.

"For four months! I started the moment of realization that you were dead hit me!" I rush out drawing my knees to my chest and covered my ears with the palm of my hand. I didn't want to hear anymore if I was going to be yelled at. I am thrown into another state of shock when his arms wrap around me his forehead resting on the top of mine.

"My idiot apprentice, look at what you've become from my stupidity. Kanda has told me about what has been going on in your dreams and I know that feeds into it as well. Everyone is afraid of forcing you into things thinking you'll cast them out once they do. I do not fear this." He begins to say and I find myself afraid of what he has done.

"M-master?" I ask my breathing becoming labored and heavy and I knew he had to be smirking in some way.

"I have ordered the science division to ransack your entire room to look for anything that you could use to harm yourself. I told even if they have to peel all the tiles out of that bathroom. I am giving that room of yours a makeover so there will not be any way for you to hide anything that will harm you. And I will be making sure that once a week you will be going to your thirty minute therapy sessions with Komui. Or you could choose to have them with me now that I am back for a while." He says to me and I find myself wrapping my arms around him before he could chance stepping away from me. My eyes are half lidded with tears dripping from them but I feel the smile on my face. I've been waiting for this day cause I knew I couldn't take the first step on my own.

"Komui is great and all but I haven't seen you in forever and I would rather it be talking to you please!" I beg clutching onto his Exorcist jacket. I feel the chuckle run through him as his arms wrap themselves around me again.

"What am I going to do with you my idiot apprentice." He says, and I knew from then on everything would change, but I wasn't expecting for them to change in the way that they would.

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**Yes this chapter is very, very, very short but I don't want to go past this point until later tonight and I can collaborate a little more with Sharva also I have work and I am happy with this chapter. Well see next chapter! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Sorry if this seems a little out of the normal writing style. I'm Sharva and I will be writing Asarina's and Narul's point of views. YaoiFanGirl1990 will be transposing it to her style and making minor adjustments. I hope you enjoy Asarina and Narul. Not sure when his chapter will be up but it will be soon. Enjoy!**

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Chapter Eight-The Poison that Runs Through Her

**Asarina's POV-**

It has been a few days since General Cross returned and everyone has been in a state of confusion. After being here in the black order for about one week I have found myself trying to stay calm. I had a mission to do and I don't want to do it but my heart will be forever broken if don't.

"Asarina," I turn around to see Lavi holding Narul by his tail, "this little guy was caught trying to eat paper work from Komui's office." Then he let go of my little crazy fireball, which then ran over to me and barred his teeth at the young man who had released him.

"Stupid boy, If I want to eat paper I can. Besides I was going to burn them and don't ever grab me by my tail." Narul shouted. I could only laugh at my little dragon. Lavi on the other hand look as if he could kill him but the last time someone tried that. It ended up bad on their part. "Go away hammer boy."

"Narul that is enough now no more going into Komui's office without permission, and no more name calling; just think if it was Komui who had found you and not Lavi. And please don't destroy anyone's property, that paperwork could be important." I stated and the look my fireball gave was a look of pure jealousy. Ever since that day I met everyone, Narul had a dislike of Komui and was not afraid to show it. He has an issue with men who think I'm a very pretty and tends to scare them away or make their life hell. He just sat there on my lap and gave me really sad puppy eyes. "Don't Worry Lavi, remember he is still a child in mind."

"Whatever, besides I'm going to town with Lenalee. See you later." Lavi said as he left and then Narul took off flying. In the distance I could hear him screaming "Lenalee, I'm coming to!" All I could do was laugh. I decided to go for a walk myself. Standing up from my bed and heading out the door. I decided to go get some tea from the cafeteria first. Walking down the hallway many of those who worked in the Black Order looked at me and started to whisper. None of them knew me and I was not getting too close to any of them. The only one who actually wanted to get close to me was the one person in the whole building Narul hated. Komui, he was pretty silly at times and made decisions that ended up badly. Yet, the worst flaw he had was the fact that his little sister was dating Lavi. He was trying to do everything to break them up but nothing worked. I loved his eyes and the way he shows his comrades that he cares.

I stopped to look out the window. Kanda, General Cross and Allen had left for a mission three days ago. General Cross and his way of thinking was strange, but never the less he really was a good teacher. I had found him badly injured and decided to help him. I still don't know if that was the best or worse decision I had made. Then there is Kanda, the tall samurai that Narul loves to hang out with. I think it is because of the sword or the fact that Kanda is really calm and listens to what he has to say. Then there is Allen, my target for the mission. I just don't understand why he looks so similar to my mother. I really never knew her. My father took me to his home in china when I was two. The three of them should be back any day and I did not want to be alone with General Cross.

I decided that my thoughts were getting the best of me and continued to get my tea. When I go there it was lunch time. I could see Narul ordering food and the cook laughing. Trust me when I say that little guy can eat, from what I was told by Lenalee once Allen is back to normal the two will rival one another. For some reason I can't see that, but I would love to anyways. Everyone was still shocked when he grew to his actually size, but I love him dearly. While thinking a hand touched me and a voice said "So, are we eating together my sweet Asarina" I did not have to turn around to know who it was.

"Komui, do you really want Narul to burn your buns again?" I asked him trying to be serious but could not help giggling. Just before Allen, Kanda and Cross left, Narul had gotten mad when Komui had taken me to my room and then snuck up behind him. Then next thing I knew Komui ran screaming down the hall with his ass on fire. The little dragon was on the floor, belly up and laughing.

"What is you answer, a yes or a no?" Was his reply and then took my arm to lead me to the line. Once in line I ordered sweet and sour chicken, white rice, and some oriental veggies. I got my jasmine green tea and sat down at the table where Lenalee, Lavi and my fireball were sitting. I noticed that Narul had about fifteen steaks on a plate. Komui sat down beside me and that's when the fireball pushed his plate toward me and sat on the table between us. Lenalee just stared at what happened and Lavi just smiled as if telling his superior officer pay back is a bitch.

"Mommy, can we go flying after we eat?" was the question Narul asked and smiled so Komui would see how sharp his teeth were but he already knew how sharp they were since Narul had already bitten him for trying to extract blood from my little dragon. "You are not invited, Komui." I couldn't help but laugh on how much this dragon hated Komui.

"Was not even going to ask?" Was Komui's quick come back, "Thanks to you, I have all those papers to reorganize and sort again?" I could easily tell he was not pleased about what Narul had done but neither was I.

"Hey wait a minute; I thought you were going with Lavi and me to the market to find you a stronger ball." Lenalee said angrily. "You always complain that you never get to go out."

After everyone was finished eating, Komui went to his office and I felt so sorry of him. In the end I told my dragon to go out with Lanelee and Lavi. I was going to go lay down for a nap. Walking back to my room I had heard that menacing voice saying:

_Your time is running out, better hurry_

I knew I had to hurry but there was nothing I could do until Allen returned. I just hope I can get some sleep. Lavi said they would not be back till dinner time. So I had plenty of time to sleep. I opened the door to my room and lay down on my bed.

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**Next chapter some surprising things are going to happen. Does Asarina have feelings for Komui and what's with the voice in her head? I guess we will have to wait and see.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Hey guys, it's YaoiFanGirl1990! I do hope you're enjoying the fanfic so far. I know I am, but then again I always enjoy writing fanfics for you guys. Well here is the next chapter. Please Enjoy!**

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Chapter Nine- Pale White Skin

I lay in my bed trying to sleep but I just couldn't, I had been in my room for as little over an hour and just could not seem to sleep. How was I going to do this and if I did what would everyone think of me, I see how happy Kanda and Allen are but if I did not do it I would lose someone very close to me. What was I to do? Sitting up, I looked around and felt terrible. Maybe I just needed some company, just someone to talk to. Allen once told me Komui is a great person to talk to. Maybe it was worth a try. I got up and left my room to go to Komui's office.

Walking down the hallways, my mind went to how Narul would go through one of his tantrums when he found out that I went to talk to Komui. I could only smile at that thought, but I could also see my little dragon burning down his office desk as revenge. I don't know where he gets this idea that Komui will take me away and lock me up. If only those two would get along, my life might be a bit more easy. I found myself at his office door. I knocked.

"Komui, it's me, Asarina. Can I come in?" I wait a few seconds before I heard a thump. I guess he tripped over a stack of papers. I heard him fall like three times before the door opened and six people ran out. Then I saw him standing there smiling.

"Please come in." he said and I did. He closed the door after I was all the way in and locked it. "Well that was perfect timing. They were getting on my nerves. So, what's the problem?" he was sitting behind his desk.

"I was trying to take a nap but it failed. My mind is racing." I say as I sat down. My neck was hurting and I was rubbing it. That's when I saw Komui stand up and walk over towards me. He then stood behind me, moved my hand and started to massage my neck and back. "That's not necessary" I tell him.

"Did you ever think that maybe you can't sleep because your muscles are sore?" He asked but I could not complain. It was relaxing me and it did feel very nice. Yet my whole body was responding to his touch. I let out a sigh of comfort. "I can stop if you want me to."

"No, don't stop. It is helping me relax." I state and yet I wish I could tell him everything but I just can't. That's when I snap out of it and stand up. "Sorry for bothering but I'm fine." I get passed the couch before he grabs my arm and I turn around to slap him. Then our lips meet and I just melt against him.

"Why are you so eager to leave?" He asks me with his dark eyes that were like stars. I run my fingers through his hair and his hat falls to the ground, I'm shaking by. It has been over a year since a man has kissed me. "Was I out of line?" He whispers in my ear.

The only thing I can do is kiss him back. At this point I don't care what he will think of when the time comes to complete my mission. Right now I only want to be with him. He responds by bringing me closer to his body and I feel like I'm on fire. I start to unbutton his jacket as he deepens the kiss I started. I feel like I can't control myself. He breaks off the kiss and looks down into my eyes. I feel like nothing else matters to me.

* * *

He moves he head to my ear and whispers, "Is this what you want?" While he plays with my hair.

"I will stop but only if you tell me to." I realize he is either daring me to continue or playing with me. I just don't know what to say. My mind is not straight and i dont want to leave at this point.

"I won't do anything else until I get an answer." He says his arms wrapped around me just waiting.

I'm now standing in Komui's office while he has his jacket off. It should be easy to tell him to stop but its what I want. He says he needs an answer to continue. The only way I can respond to give him an answer is to kiss him again and play with his long dark hair. I break off the kiss

"Don't go, please." Then he kisses me and I'm trying to not let go of this moment. I want to remember this and treasure it.

"Where would I go? To tell you the truth, I would rather be in my room with you than the office." He says and brings head up so our eyes meet. His eyes are full of passion and love. It makes me want to cry, for this maybe the only chance I get with him.

"You're so beautiful right now. Even when you are with Narul, your beauty never changes." Leaning down he kisses me again.

I'm not sure why I am letting this continue. He left the kiss and I closed my eyes trying to get a grip on the world around me. I had to come back to reality or I just might lose myself but yet I did not want this to end. Breaking the kiss Komui begins to leave kisses along my jawline and down my neck. I feel the slight tug on my obi as he pulls it loose and I feel his hands run up to my shoulders and gently push the fabric down my arms. His hands soon find their way back up my arms and begin to fondle my breasts. Following in suit with him, I find myself slowly unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt sliding the annoying thing from his own arms tossing it somewhere to the floor. Before I can comprehend both of us are left fully unclothed upon his couch. I feel one of his hands leave my breast and travel down my stomach slowly running over my moist core putting his lips to mine once again in a heated kiss. I could feel his finger moving in and out rapidly and my only way to cope with this sensation was to dig my nails into his back. I open my mouth to grant him entrance when I feel his tongue glide over my bottom lip, making this kiss deeper than before, then slightly breaks away hovering over my lips.

"Asarina, I want you to know that I will always be by your side. Anywhere you go, I will follow you." He whispers putting his hand gently against my cheek. Deep down I wanted to cry but that would only make things worse. I told myself never again would I love another, but for some reason I could tell Komui is different. Leaning down again Komui kisses me. I could feel the tip of him at my entrance, just pausing and I couldn't tell him he was just doing it for dramatic effect. Pushing my lips against his I let him know by action to get on with it. It was a little painful but the feeling of him inside me was just overwhelming and knew at that point that this might not happen again. I moaned while his mouth was still connected to mine. He broke away the kiss and slowly started to move. He eventually picked up the pace and my only request was that no one was outside his door listening. I was playing with his hair while he sucked on my breasts. I keep arching my back and every time I did that he increased the pressure and speed of his thrusting. The next thing I knew my world was collapsing

"KOMUI!" was the last sound we both heard. He lay against me catching his own breath while I did the same. It seemed as if time was ticking by fast as the world continued to spin around us. It truly has been a long time since I last enjoyed this.

* * *

"We should get dressed before anyone tries to enter." He said and held me tightly. He could tell I was shaking and my vision was not all that great either. Everything was spinning and my only stability was to hold tightly to him. For the moment we just laid there on the couch. Eventually he got up and dressed first. Then he helped me put my clothes back since I was still a bit wobbly when I stood up. Then he unlocked the door and handed me a bottle of water.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked.

"I think I'll be fine." I said standing up. "I think I'll go back to my room and get a shower." He grabbed my hand and pulled in for one last kiss.

"If I was out of line just tell me." He said embracing me. It was then that I realized this was a mistake to come to him and I just wanted to be alone.

"I'm fine really and you don't have to worry. " Then I left him alone in his office. Once I was a good ways away I ran to my room. I lay on my bed and started to cry. How was I ever going to complete this mission? I decided to get a shower soon after knowing that Narul would be back soon. Once inside the bath room I take off my clothes off and turn on the hot water. Before I know it, I'm crying again slowly collapsing to the shower floor my face in my hands leaning over onto the tiled wall. Then I hear a voice

"Mom, are you okay" I look up to see my fireball suspended in the air looking at me. "Did something happen? Oh, Allen, Kanda and General Cross are back. They are just in time for dinner." He says happily about the three returning, but I could still tell that he was worried about the state I was in. I could only smile sadly at him.

"I'll be out in a bit." I tell him and he flies out of the shower. I turn off the water, dry off and get dressed. Now with Allen back I can complete my mission but I know Cross suspects something is up. He just might be the reason why I don't succeed.

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**Komui's POV-**

I felt deep inside that I had hurt her. When she left her expression was sad and I don't know what to think. I had only known her for about a week and a half. That pesky dragon of hers hated me and now he might actually eat me if he found out about this. Considering if he even knows what sex is. The fact is I felt like I took advantage of her but I gave her a few chances to tell me to stop. She wanted this as well as I did but her reaction afterwards was not what I had pictured it would have been like. My thoughts were broken when I heard the door open. I looked up to see Lenalee and Lavi enter.

"So did the three of you have a great time?" I asked, I had almost forgotten that they took the pesky dragon with them.

"Yeah we had fun. Narul got a new ball, but we're not sure how long this one will last." Lenalee stated, she looked around the room and at the couch that I had made love to Asarina on. "Wow you really need to clean up your office." She says with that cute annoyed face she always gets and I have to feign from acting like the brother-complex person I am.

"Gee, what did you do in here?" Lavi said holding his nose. "Please tell me you did not have sex in here with someone cause it smells like it!"

My mind went to different directions. Direction one was I don't want to know what you and my sister do in your bed, which I will get you back now that I know you are having sex with her. Second direction was Asarina and how she would feel if they found out. "Let's go eat, I'm starving." I literally shoved them out of my office with me behind them. We arrive to the cafeteria and I notice Lenalee run off to give Allen a hug. I'm very happy that Allen was able to leave and get out of this tower but my thoughts are still on the woman I loved. I walk over to the others with Lavi to greet both Allen and Kanda. We all sit down and listen to Allen's tail of the mission, with some added commentary from Cross and Kanda of course. Eventually Lavi calls Kanda by Yu and that sets off a killing rampage. Next thing I know something bites my hand. I look down to see a very angry little dragon.

"You are very mean and I don't like to see my mother cry." His tone of voice tells me that he is extremely pissed and now Asarina is crying.

"I'll be back. I'm going to talk to Asarina and figure out why she is upset." I state and stand up to leave, only to find that Narul is now blocking my way slightly bigger than his tiny form. This is not going to end well for me.

"You're not going near her. You're the one that made her cry. Your scent is all over her clothes." Narul shouted loud enough for everyone to stare at him. "Now you will burn."

It was that moment I realized that the pesky dragon wanted to burn me alive and started to chase me. Why did I fall in love with a woman who raised a dragon?

* * *

**Cross's POV-**

The mission was somewhat a success since it being Allen's first time back on the field in four months. I was surprised at how calm Kanda had stayed the entire time each time he had to protect my idiot apprentice. The reason I say it was somewhat success was because, yes we managed to acquire the innocence but that's only because said idiot apprentice endangered himself to protect it. His reasoning being that he connected with it somehow and he knew how important this one was. I am amazed each time he speaks in this weird way. Kanda had explained to me on the way back that the idiot was now taking specific pills for his dreams. He also explained the side-effects of them and I knew then that Allen's own innocence that he was born with was either mutating or evolving. This brought a wave of concern through me; the Noah's would be even more relentless to get him if they were to find out. Especially that Tyki Mikk.

"General Cross!" I look up to see Narul flying over to me and I am surprised to not see Asarina with him.

"Good evening Narul, where is your mother?" I ask, I needed to speak with her as soon as I could, because just with what I've witnessed she has gotten herself into some trouble.

"Oh she is showering before coming to dinner! Have you seen Komui? He wasn't in his office when I checked." The little one asked and I could only raise an eyebrow at him. He was up to no good that I knew was for sure.

"I think he has joined everyone else in the cafeteria to gain the mission report from Kanda and Allen. Don't cause too much trouble Narul. What did he do this time if you don't mind me asking?" I ask crossing my arms starring at the little dragon playfully.

"I smelled him all over my mother's clothing! He shall pay if he is the reason she is crying!" He shouted and was suddenly gone flying down the hallway. I could only sigh and shack my head. I was soon headed back down the hallway towards Asarina's room. That girl was hiding something and I was going to find out. Reaching the hallway of her I saw her just exiting the room her face reading that she was deep within her own mind.

"Asarina." I speak up once I close enough to her and I am not surprised when she jumps but only slightly and she stares at me her eyes only going wider and wider. She knows deep down that like my idiot apprentice she cannot keep anything from me.

"I've been wandering actually. Where is Kalira?" I ask and I watch as her one of her hands clench tightly into a fist and she opens her mouth to say something.

"Before you say anything, if I were you I would really think before you try to lie to me." I say and I watch as she snaps her mouth back shut. Just by watching her I could tell she was failing at trying to come up with something and soon she lets out a defeated sigh.

"I knew you would be the reason to why I would fail at this unfortunate mission." She says her eyes full of sadness and I knew it wasn't Komui who had made her cry. Something had happened to Kalira.

"Asarina you know you can tell me. I can help you, the entire order can help you." I explain to her placing my hand onto her shoulder.

"I know but I don't want anyone to hate me." She says and I could only sigh closing my eyes and shaking my head.

"If you tell us what's going on we can help you. If you continue this charade of lies and secrets then maybe they will. Now I will call a meeting at Komui's office. You will explain everything there." I explain pulling her into one of my rare embraces. If I'm not careful this could become an everyday thing. For that I blame my idiot apprentice, he started it.

"Yes General Cross, but I ask that Allen Walker to not be a part of it please." She says and I could tell she is begging me. Something she never does. This woman is strong and does not beg, and it is at that moment that I know exactly how serious this is.

"Alright for now though let us go to the cafeteria and eat. We will call the meeting then. I promise you, everything will be fine." I reassure her place my arm around her shoulders and began walking her towards the one area I didn't really want to be at. Upon arriving I wasn't surprised that my allegations were correct. At the moment not only was Komui being chased by Narul, but it looked like Lavi was about to be killed by Kanda.

"Oi, Idiot apprentice, explain what's going on?" I asked when Asarina and I reached to the group.

"Well you see when Narul got here he immediately began chasing Komui yelling something along the lines that he was going to pay for making his mother cry. And well Kanda trying to kill Lavi? That's just normal." He explained sipping at his drink which I guessed was water from the looks of the non-fizzy clear drink. I could only sigh putting my forehead against my fingertips trying my hardest not get angry. Upon Komui running by me I lifted my arm and easily caught Narul by his tail handing him straight to Asarina before walking over to the other two idiots and smashed their heads together. Everyone fell silent at that exact moment.

"Everyone to Komui's office for a meeting, Allen you are to go do something else. This meeting doesn't concern you." The moment he gave me that look that he was going to argue back I shot him a warning glare and he immediately shut his mouth. I didn't wait for anyone and just began making my way towards Komui's God forsaken office. I was going to get to the bottom of this one way or another.

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**Asarina has thing with Komui but knows it won't last. What does cross know about her that no one else does? So many mysteries surround Asarina and will any them be revealed. Wait and see.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well we are now at a part where things are about to get hectic! I hope you enjoy ^_^!**

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Chapter Ten- Strawberry gashes all over, all over.

It was difficult on the way to Komui's office, and after what had happened in the office made me think of how much I might have hurt him. Narul was giving everyone worried looks; he only gave Komui the death-stare, I think he knew what was going to happen once we all were seated in the office. My heart was about to break and I finally knew that my whole world was about to fall into pieces. Looking at everyone just made me sick to my stomach, and I could not even look at Kanda or Cross. I just walked down the hallway with everyone following behind me. Probably curious about what was going to happen. I was fighting to hold back my tears and my fears were coming to life. Finally we all entered Komui's office, I sat down on the couch that we had made love on and the memories all came back. I wish I did not have to tell him what or who sent me on this mission. I knew my time with him would only be a one shot but I was now wandering if it was even worth it.

"Now to business and to figure out why Allen could not be with us." Komui said and sat behind his desk. I found myself unable to look him in the eyes. My mind was just overwhelmed and I could not keep up with my thoughts at all. I knew if I looked at him, I would burn. "General Cross, why is it you decided to have this meeting?" Komui then asked looking to the red haired man.

"Well first off, it is important that Allen not be here because… I don't even know." Cross said standing as straight as he could. "The only one who knows that is Asarina." His finger pointed at me, and I knew at this point there was not going to be anyway to get out of here now. I was stuck in explaining the exact thing I was afraid to say.

"Asarina, what is the meaning of this?" Kanda yelled and got in my face. Big mistake, for Narul jumped and bit his nose. "What was that for?!" Kanda asked as Lenalee handed him a cloth for his nose which was bleeding

"That's your fault, Narul is very territorial. He may be little right now but trust me he can fuck up someone's face if he feels that I'm in danger." I snapped back trying to defend my fireball.

"Well, in any case. What's going on Asarina?" Lavi asked putting his arm around Lenalee and looking all happy. I'm surprised at how he's not really all that affected by the seriousness of this meeting.

"It's difficult to explain, but I started after I left to come here." I say playing with Narul's tail. "Please don't get mad at me for any reason." I add finally feeling the effects of there being some sort of spotlight on me. I sigh.

I told them of how Narul had a sister named Kalira and how a battle had formed about two days after leaving General Cross. This guy wearing a top hat and a girl on a broom, or was it an umbrella? I don't remember. They had arrived on the road with four akumas. Eventually they had managed to distract me long enough and grab a hold of Kalira and found the note that Cross had given me which I had hidden with Kalira for safe keeping. Then a deal was offered. The guy in the hat introduced himself as Tyki and the girl was named Road. The deal was I bring back some boy named Allen Walker to a certain place and they would give me Kalira back. I was left in a position where I had no choice but agree to their demands.

"So my plan was to get Allen alone, sedate him and leave. Believe me when I say this, I didn't originally want to do this but they have given me no choice! I don't want Narul's sister getting hurt or killed!" I said trying not cry. As I looked around, I noticed how many of them were thinking. Kanda gave me a death stare, but then shook his head and the look of hate vanished, this surprised me very much. Cross just stood there and Komui, just stared blankly at me so I couldn't tell what either of them were thinking.

"Well, I see why you did not want Allen in here." Komui said fixing his glasses. "The fact remains that Tyki and Road put you in a predicament."

"I say let's do it." Kanda suddenly said said, and everyone stared at him in shock. "I don't like it either but if we follow her to the meeting place and just as Allen is given over, we attack and they will retreat if we out number them."

"It's a bit risky but in all sense. It might work if we all play our cards right." Cross said and I could not believe my ears. Kanda just came up with a plan to use the one person he loved as bait and trick Tyki. I could not let that happen and Cross to agree, it was not normal. Don't they realize they not only will be risking Allen's freedom but if this works they risk Allen hating them all?!

"Then let's do it." Komui said walking over to me. "Trust me, this will work and nothing bad will happen. True some might get injured but it's a risk we are all willing to take. We want to help you." He smiled taking my hands trying to comfort me. I move my hands quickly away standing up and go to the door.

"I'm sorry." I say as I finally let the tears come out. I open the door and just run away from the place causing my pain. As I left I notice Allen and did not care. Narul was now hiding in my hair. How could I ever face him again, Komui what do you think of me now. I heard him call my name but I did not care. Once in my room, I locked the door and laid down on my bed crying still. Narul whispered something about going out and flying for bit. I was now alone in my room. My thoughts on Komui, Kanda, Allen and Cross, how could I let this happen? It was now certain that what had happened earlier with Komui was a mistake and yet I wished he was here with me.

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**Allen's POV-**

I was stunned to see Asarina run from Komui's office with the said mad scientist running after her. The more I thought about it from me being ordered not be a part of it, watching Asarina run out and now Kanda walking out stopping to stare at me with raised eyes causing everyone else to stop and just stare it me brought on an endless void of suspicions. Though, what gave it away the most that I was a subject in this said meeting was when my master walked out and couldn't help the look of apology that crossed his face. I couldn't help the feeling of a blade of betrayal stabbing me in the back through my heart. There was just this pang in my heart and I couldn't help but feel sad, angry and confused. If I was a subject why wouldn't I be involved? I will find out if I am and hopefully I am told the truth. My hands slowly began to get clammy as Kanda let out a sigh and walked over to me. I grew anxious as I watched everyone else's face become anxious. It was like they wandered if he was going to tell me something or not.

"Kanda…?" I began to ask but I was rendered silent when he wrapped his arms around me keeping me held close to him. I could feel my eyes become wide.

"Please don't worry about it, everything is under control. Let's just forget about this and go eat dinner, okay?" He asked, everything within me was shouting to argue back. All I do is just nod my head and soon I am walking beside my master behind everyone lost within my own thoughts. Every once in a while Cross will pat me on the back reassuringly but I just dismiss the kind act. All I can do is think back to what Kanda just said. Don't worry about what? What's under control? Forget about it?! How could I? Little by little my anger was just building so standing in the line for our food readings Jerry's face I could tell he knew something was up and just held his hand up signaling he already knew what I wanted. Five plates of Mitarashi Dango all on one tray, even though this usually calms me down, honestly I doubt it will. When I sit down it's across from Kanda, in between Cross and Lenalee, who was across from Lavi obviously flirting with him. Every once and a while I will look up and catch a glance with Kanda who was watching me as well. I could easily tell that he was hiding something with every time I'd look to him he'd try to avoid my eyes. So now I am keep my head down eating my Dangos.

"Allen is everything okay?" I hear my master finally ask and I just nod my head my anger too high for me to answer without something bad in my voice of some sort. Everything was slowly beginning to become hushed and I knew I was now the center of attention.

"I'm sorry Allen…I'm just trying to protect you." Kanda said and felt something in me snap. Standing up I began to lift my tray off the table and slightly freeze and I could see Lenalee staring at me from the corners of my eyes. I startle everyone and cause the entire cafeteria to fall silent when I slam the tray down onto the table so hard the plastic thing breaks in half and small crack forming into the wood table we sat at.

"Protect me? Protect me?! Kanda tell me what you're fucking hiding from me damn it!" I scream at him and I feel Lenalee stand up and move away from me. My entire body was twitching and I could feel my arm just itching to faze into the weapon of my innocence but I forced it down as to not scare the entire order.

"Moyashi it's not any of your business now sit down, shut up and forget about it. It's for your own good." Kanda snaps and see his own body slightly twitch.

"Fuck it! I am not forgetting about it Kanda! You're hiding something from me, ALL OF YOU are hiding something from me! Now tell me what the fuck it is!" I shout again my arms dropped by my sides my hands clenched into fists.

"Allen please calm down." Lenalee says trying to reach for me but I only back away from her.

"Yea man, it's really nothing to worry about." Lavi also says and I know they're just trying to calm me down.

"NO! If it was really nothing to worry about none of you would be trying to keep it from me!" I yell at them causing Lenalee to fall back into her seat in shock that I yelled at her.

"Idiot apprentice you will stop this nonsense right now." Cross finally says standing from his seat towering over me trying to use his hard gaze to intimidate me, but sadly it makes it worst.

"Nonsense? NONsense?! First master I am not an idiot and secondly once again if it was nonsense then why the hell are you all hiding it from me! Just fucking tell me unless you guys don't trust me then that makes full sense!" I snap and it catches him by surprise. I guess I am surprised at myself as well that I just yelled at my own master. Soon Kanda is standing from his seat.

"ALLEN! Shut up and calm down we do trust you but your anger is clouding everything!" Kanda yells and I can only narrow my eyes at him. Once again he is not looking me in the eye and it proves even more that they are all hiding something from me!

"Damn it Kanda you say you trust me but you can't even fucking look me in the eye and tell me what the hell is going on! Just….god damn it just leave me alone!" I yell once last time before walking out one destination in mind. Komui's office, he'll tell me one way or another, that bastard scientist will tell me or so help me he will fucking die!

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**Komui's POV-**

I'm standing outside Asarina's door knocking and pleading her to let me in. I'm not sure why she left crying and what did she mean by "I'm sorry." Those words will echo in my mind until I find out what she meant exactly. I'm in love with her and I can't stand to see her cry. I understand why she did not want to tell us about Kalira but I feel this is my entire fault. Did I manage to hurt her? My mind was unsure of what to do. I knew she was in her room, cause I can still hear her crying.

"Please, Asarina. I won't touch you or anything. I just want to make sure you're are okay?" I say with a heavy heart, and waiting for her to move or something.

"Go away. I just want to be alone." She screams from inside her room. "Just leave me be, Komui." I can tell she is now sobbing and angry at me.

"Look, I'm going to office. I'll be there if you need me." I tell her in a sad voice. I fix my glasses and begin to walk down the hall to my office. I was hoping she would have opened the door but I was wrong. Maybe it was because of the meeting but I suspect there was more to it. Maybe it was Kanda's remark and how Cross agreed with him or maybe it was what had happened earlier between the two of us. I guess I will never know.

Opening the door to my office, I just stopped and looked around. It felt really lonely in here without her. As I walked past the couch, my mind was flooded with the memories of what had happened. The first ones to appear were when Asarina had begged me not to go and how beautiful she looked. Her eyes were filled with passion and her response to my touch was just overwhelming. The next ones were when she told us about Kalira and the plans to get her back. I then realized that maybe what had happened between us was because of the pain she was hiding. Was I just a play thing to her?

"No!" I scream out loud.

I place my head in my hands and try to get that thought out of my head. I must mean something to her cause most of the time she flirts with me. I will never understand the emotions of a female but I want to be with her. Asarina, what can I do to make you feel better? My decision at the moment was to give her space. Next thing I know I hear the door open. I look up in high hopes that it is her but I find a very angry Allen walking in. If had a choice between an angry Allen and a pissed off dragon, I would take the dragon any day.

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**Allen's POV (Again)-**

My mind was racing, my blood boiling, and my skin fucking crawling from the anticipation of wanting to get to Komui's office before anyone could catch up to me and intercept me. If anyone would talk it would be Komui that is for sure! He can't keep his mouth shut to save his fucking life. The site of his door was up ahead and I find myself slightly slowing down to a not so angry pace, so by the time my hand is on the handle I am calmly pushing the door open and stepping in. I was still pissed though and I knew Komui could tell from how he was staring at me now.

"Allen my boy what can I do for you?" He asks his tone of voice immediately changing to his hyper one and I can only narrow my eyes and cross my arms stepping closer to his desk.

"I want you to tell me everything you know from today's meeting!" I snap this time my eyes narrowed dangerously at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about Allen all of us only had tea and got to know Asarina is all." He answers and it's an obvious lie. This only angers me more and I drop my arms to my side watching him as he flinches. Bulls eye, I caught him.

"Bullshit Komui, you're lying and you know it yourself. Now, tell me what everyone is hiding?!" I snap stepping even closer now. I wasn't trying to intimidate him…no wait, yea I was.

"I assume that no one else would? Well that is good, because you don't need to know anything Allen now go back to your room and calm down." Komui answers seriously and I could tell things were just getting good now. I always wanted to get back at him for all the damn tests he's run on me.

"I am NOT going to calm down Komui! I am tired everyone hiding something from me! If it is no big deal then there should be no issue in telling me!" I snap and I am angry with myself now because I've resorted to begging.

"Moyashi that is enough!" I feel myself twitch when I hear Kanda's voice and I could only clench my hands into fists, lower my head and tightly shut my eyes feeling tears threatening to fall. Keeping my mouth tightly shut I turn around leave purposely ramming my shoulder into Kanda's making my point known that I was pissed at him. I never looked back and just went straight for my room once I was able to break off into a run. I just wanted to be left alone, I just wanted to forget it all. I wanted to forget about everyone. I wanted to forget about Kanda and just leave this place. I will give them all 24 hours to tell me the truth. If they don't then I will leave and never come back. I will leave changing my name and appearance to where not even Tyki or Road would find me. I will make sure I never slept again to ensure I could disappear off the radar. Now it was their choice to decide my fate.

God damn it all!

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**Well there is chapter ten! Tell us how you liked it ^_^ we love your reviews! If you have any suggestions let us know. We welcome all suggestions!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well We have definitely been posting a lot. I mean we're up to now chapter 11! YAY! I really do hope everyone is enjoying the fanfic. This chapter might be on the major short side due to whose POV it's in. It's sort of just a drabble. Please let us know by reviewing. Helpful criticism is highly appreciated. Have a great day guys! ~YaoiFanGirl1990**

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Chapter Eleven- Watch Me Fault Him

Everything was whirling out of control that was for sure. Last night after the big fight between Allen and he had retreated to his own room and kept me locked out. I wasn't worried about him hurting himself because in truth he couldn't with all his devices taken away, but what concerned me was he knew all of us were hiding something from him. It was so weird to know exactly how observant my Moyashi was. I hated keeping this from him, but like Asarina had told us; the less he knew the better chance of Tyki and Road believing that she was truly giving Allen up. As much as I hated this plan all of us knew that it was the only way to get Kalira back for Asarina. Cross was going to be coming with us so at least I knew there would be no way of those Noah's taking my Moyashi away. Here I am sitting in my room my back pressed up against the head board of my bed my head leaned back starring up at the ceiling. His words reverberating around inside of my head and they deeply hurt me even though they were so right.

_Damn it Kanda you say you trust but you can't even fucking look me in the eye and tell me what the hell is going on! Just….god damn just leave me alone!_

I clench my hand into a fist by my side clicking my jaw from the hate I felt for myself for having to do this. Cross had warned me that at the end of this plan, things might possibly get worst between Allen I. It might get to the point of Allen possibly leaving me; that idea was not sitting with me very well. I refused to let that happen, I swore to myself that when this is all over I was going to make sure that I made it up to him. That is if he let me. I am brought out of my never ending thoughts at the sound of a knock on my door and Lenalee walking in.

"Hey Kanda." She greeted me standing there with her hands linked behind her back and staring at me with those sad eyes of her. I knew she was worried about me, fuck we were all worried about one another plus being worried about Allen. Last night had just been horrible he had basically yelled at everyone.

"Any word on how he is?" I asked and I just hear her sad sigh as she walked over sitting on the edge of the foot of the bed her back to me.

"The only one so far to get into his room was Cross and well…as much as it was funny to laugh at with the General getting blasted out of Allen's room I can't laugh. He's pushing us away Kanda and it's only going to get worst. With what we plan to do we might as well literally stab him in the back with a knife. I fear for you to Kanda with what will happen to the both of you." She says and I hear the strain in her voice knowing that she had begun to cry again.

"We can't blame him Lenalee, he has a right to be angry with us. Not only are we blatantly lying to his face but we also plan to almost give him up to the very person that has caused him nightmares." I say moving over to sit next to her.

"We can only pray for the best, we can only hope." She says before burying her face into my chest crying, I can only awkwardly wrap my arm around her shoulders finally looking up to see Lavi was now standing in my open doorway with a sullen look and an ice pack on his nose. We both look to one another with that silent agreement that things were much worst with Allen's state of mind than what we had originally presumed. I open my mouth to say something and he only abruptly holds his hand up to keep me quiet.

"Don't ask because I am not repeating it. Just know that what he said sent Cross into an angered frenzy. Just you two keep this in mind, we're probably not just going to lose a friend but we're probably going to lose an exorcist in general. He swears that if we don't come clean in the next 24 hours then he is disappearing from the Order for good. He will make sure we will never find him." Lavi explains and Lenalee finally sits up with a gasp. I'm in too much of a shock to fully comprehend what was just said. Before I could let anything else be said I jump from my spot on the bed grabbing Mugen heading straight for Allen's room. Before I can even reach the hallway Cross comes by grabbing my arm and purposely begins dragging me.

"Don't waste your breath! He's gone quiet now!" He hisses and I can only sigh and let myself get dragged. Things were defiantly bad, but I wasn't going to let Allen become an ass. My anger had finally hit and I ripped my arm from Cross's grip heading straight for the Moyashi's room, only one thought in mind as I reached his door and banged onto it. I don't care if he hates me after this, he will hear me out.

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**Well there you have it chapter eleven and it was a bit longer than I had generally thought it was going to be lol. I'm just on a roll seeing as I am writing the next two chapters completely.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well this chapter is defiantly going to be fun to write and beat the hellish storm that's going to hit at 2am….GOD I hate storms! You have NO idea how much I hate them guys. Well here's to a possible all-nighter! Now on with the chapter.**

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Chapter Twelve- You're Living Like A Disaster

I jump at the sound of my door being banged on and I only hug Timcanpy closer to me. I knew who it was outside my bedroom door. I was still angry at him, and I meant my threat that if they didn't come clean to me then I would leave and never come back. I know I was being selfish but I hated being lied to and I hated having things hidden from me. It wasn't right, I was their friend and friends shouldn't keep secrets from one another.

"Allen I know you can hear me! Answer this fucking door this instant!" He yells banging onto the door once more.

"Go away Kanda!" I scream back at him feeling my voice slightly crack at the end of his name.

"Fine stay in there but you are going to fucking listen to me Moyashi! All of us are only trying to protect you, you idiot! We aren't telling you anything for your own safety. Now get out here and apologize to Lenalee and Lavi right now!" He continues to yell but by now I am covering my ears with my hands so I didn't have to listen any longer to his angry outburst.

"Stop ignoring me damn it!" I only shudder at how angry he keeps sounding. I can only choke back a sob drawing my knees up to my chest feeling Timcanpy land onto my head. I refused to answer him now and I knew that was only going to proceed to piss him off.

"MOYASHI!" He finally yells and I'm not surprised when his fist goes through my door and I am left in shock as I watch him struggle to pull it out along with multiple voices yelling at him to calm down.

"I'm tired Moyashi! I'm trying my hardest to stay patient I really am but this shit has got to stop!" He yells and I feel my entire world shatter. I barely hear Lenalee yell at him. I finally move off of my bed going to a corner of my room to keep anyone from seeing me in that new whole in my door.

_Aw poor, poor Allen. All alone with even his boyfriend turning against him._

I am suddenly curled into a ball too afraid to look up to see if Tyki was really there or not. I could feel his presence right in front of me and all I could do was silently whimper.

"Allen?" I heard Lenalee's voice, but I couldn't answer.

_They don't care for you Allen, but I do. I can take care of you my pet. I will always love you. I will never abandon you, never yell at you, nor will I ever hurt you._

"Stop…please." I beg feeling hands on me, I was praying this was just an illusion. It had to be there was no way that he was here. He couldn't be here all the sensors would be going off.

"Moyashi?" I hear Kanda call out worriedly, but I still couldn't answer them.

_But why would I stop? We're connected Allen, we have always been connected. Why can't you see that I love you and that Kanda does not._

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I finally scream out feeling a burst from me the furniture about the room getting destroyed in some way. The dresser mirror and the windows all shattering around me; I found myself now standing with my back pressed against the wall the after image of Tyki fading with a smirk. I knew then that it was just an illusion. Before I knew the door to my room was busted in and Kanda was in front of me grabbing my shoulders. But I just couldn't focus, I couldn't react to anything. All I could do was stand there blankly.

"Moyashi…" He began to say and all I could do was lean my forehead forward onto his bare chest. I was still angry at him, at everyone, but if I needed some sort of contact or I'd surely loose myself.

"You're right…I am living a disaster Kanda. I need to be alone for a while….To get my head on straight at least." I hear myself say wrapping my arms around Kanda when he held me close to him. I could only cry unsure of what I should do anymore.

"I'll take him with me Kanda. I think the two of you need some time apart." I heard Cross say and I gave no fight when I was pulled with him out of the room. He kept his hand firmly pressed onto my as he led me into his room sitting me onto the bed.

"What am I going to do with you Allen?! Seriously, Kanda is right this has got to stop. I remember dealing with this when you were a child, but not to this extent." He immediately began scolding and even though I could hear his words, I could hardly take them to heart.

"His illusion appeared just moments ago. Trying to coax me to go to him in some twisted way." I explain suddenly, cutting him off from his next rant and he fell silent before letting out a sigh and sitting next to me.

"Listen to me Allen and listen to me good, that damned Noah is never going to touch you. Not as long as both Kanda and I are alive. That is a promise." He said and I could only nod leaning over and resting my head against his arm. We sat like that for a while until we knew it was time for lunch. I blindly followed him to the cafeteria which was surprisingly empty.

"We're arriving a little later than normal." I only nod and I let him order whatever he wants for the both of us. I still didn't have much of my appetite but I ate anyways just so no one would get worried.

"So when did the dreams with Tyki and Road begin?" He asks once we're seated at one of the tables and I find myself playing with the spoon in the soup.

"A week after your supposed death, they got worst though a few days before I was turned into a sugar-glider by that damned scientist." I explain and I look up when my master begins chocking.

"I thought they were joking when I was explained about what has happened with you." He says and just begins to chuckle.

"I guess you can say that was in a way me and Kanda's first fight because I ran away from him when Komui pulled a large drill and I thought it was for me. After I ran off I managed to get into town where I was picked up and almost taken away by a humanized Road. She never realized it was me. It made me wander that day if she and I weren't on opposing sides if we'd be friends." I found myself rambling taking a bite of my soup and a piece of the English roll.

"There are a lot of things that could have happened if there weren't these opposing sides, but unfortunately we are. Just remember she's your enemy out to trick you and not your friend." He said and I only nodded my head before quickly finishing food every once in a while the two of us talking about something that has changed my life.

"Alright you're free to go do whatever, that concludes your therapy session for this week." He suddenly says standing up grabbing both our trays and I'm left in a bit of confusion.

"That was a thirty minute talk I promised to do?" I asked just blinking Cross turned and just nodded his head to me.

"And it wasn't painful?!" I asked in almost shock and I watch him sigh and slump forward.

"Just get going, but remember until your room is fixed again you're stuck in mine. OH! Stay away from Kanda that is an order I want you two to get some space for a few days." He says, rolling my eyes I just wave to him and walk out of the cafeteria heading straight for Komui's office where I'd find Lenalee and possibly Lavi. I'd at least get to apologize to them. Kanda will just have to wait until I'm over being pissed off at him. It doesn't take me long to reach that weirdo's office and I was right to find Lenalee and Lavi in there. They were tidying up the office and the plus was Komui wasn't in there and I knew he was probably with Asarina.

"Hey," I said walking looking down at my feet feeling awkward being around them after the whole thing at last nights' dinner.

"Allen! Is everything okay?" Lenalee asks immediately, rushing over to me. I can only avoid her face. I did feel bad for yelling at her. She has always been a great friend.

"Yea everything is fine and I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for everything last night at dinner. I was out of line. Same to you to Lavi for last night and just earlier with the door in your face, I really am sorry." I say looking off to the side rubbing my arm with my hand.

"We know Allen and we don't blame you, but thank you for the apology." Lenalee smiled grabbing my dangling hand holding it gently in both of hers. I could only stare at her in astonishment at how forgiving she could always be.

"Yea Allen, no harm done, well not completely but still don't worry about that part. We don't blame you for anything. You're in the process of healing and it's a long road. Hey I'm actually glad you got angry and hurt me instead of locking yourself up and doing something else. Kanda though you should…" Lavi began and I gave him an annoyed look and Lavi slowly began to laugh nervously.

"Not till he comes clean and apologizes first." I say feeling my evil side slightly leak out before my face was back to a smile. "Anyways do you two need any help with tidying up Komui's office?" I ask and Lenalee shakes her head no.

"I don't care if Cross told you two to stay away from one another, Kanda is out in the training room. Go train with him and get back some sort of normality. You two both need each other to live normally. And I'll be damned if I am going to deal with the moody samurai acting like he's pms'ing. Now you get your butt out to that training room and let off some steam….both of you!" She snaps pointing her finger at me and I could only nod and hurry out of the room finding myself standing outside of the dojo room. I could hear Kanda training. Maybe the two of us blowing off steam will be good. Walking in I find myself in awe watching him fighting an invisible enemy, sweat glistening from his bare chest. I could feel something rise in my chest and my face become hot.

"I though Cross told us to stay apart?" I am shaken from my inner thoughts when he spoke.

"Yea well Lenalee thinks it would be good if you and I trained with one another to let off some steam. At first I was a bit skeptical but I think she has a point. Maybe it'll help." I say walking forward after taking my own shirt off throwing it in the direction I saw his.

"Well then keep in mind that I won't be going easy you Moyashi." He smirked tossing his training sword off somewhere before crouching down into a fighting stance.

"Likewise Bakanda." I smirk crouching down into my own fighting stance before I knew it I had Kanda directly in front of my aiming his open palm at my chin. Back bending to avoid the hit I back flip before landing on my feet pushing off of the ground with ease back at Kanda swinging my knee towards the side of his head only for my knee to be blocked and he manages to land a hit on me with his palms connecting into my stomach sending me skidding back. I don't wait and just head right back at him. The two of us fight for what seems like hours and it probably had been. We both collapsed by one another breathing heavily beaten and bruised. The sun was already beginning to set.

"So does….this mean…you…forgive me?" He asks in between breaths and I just roll my eyes.

"No…I'm still…pretty pissed…and will be till…you tell me…everything…and apologize." I breath out before yelping finding Kanda a top of me each of his hands planted firmly by my head his lips upon mine as we both fight for dominance. Of course I loose.

"We…should get…to…dinner." I am now panting after our make out session and I just watch as Kanda smiles and shacks his head before getting up and holding his hand out to me.

"We should, but remember, at the end of this I will be making it up to you." He tells me and I can only nod. Heading over to where our shirts were slipping my long sleeved shirt back on as Kanda puts his back on as well. The two of us walk into the cafeteria in silence both of us with food on the mind. The moment we sit down with everyone we are bombarded with odd looks, minus Lenalee who knew exactly why we looked the way we did.

"Um I'm guessing the two of you actually did fight?" Lavi asked and I see my master giving us a narrowed look.

"Yup and Lenalee was right with it helping with blowing off steam." I said smirking as Cross looked away and I spooned out a carrot from my soup and used the spoon to propel it directly into his face immediately going back to my food pretending I didn't do it the second he had looked over.

"Baka Moyashi." Kanda said smacking me in the back of the head and I just roll my eyes.

"So who won?" Cross finally asks and I only sigh.

"It was a draw." Kanda answers and Cross is shocked to know that both Kanda and I were on par with one another. Dinner goes smoothly and soon I find myself in Cross's bathroom showering before bed. I had forgotten my dream pills in Kanda's room but really didn't care. As I finish with the shower changing and collapsed directly onto the bed passed out. Part of me wished I had gone to go get them…

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**Well there you have it guys chapter twelve. Hope you enjoyed it ^_^**


	13. Chapter 13

**Strawberry Gashes**

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Chapter Thirteen- He said, "Kill me Faster"

_I knew where I was the moment I entered the dream world and all I could do was prepare myself as I walked around. I could hear a humming off in the far off distance, I could tell it was Road. Especially when she began to sing words, I knew she didn't know I was there yet as I rounded the corner coming up from behind._

"_Sennen ko wa sagashiteru. Daijina HEART to sagashiteru. Anata wa atani tashika me yo. Watashi wa hazume sukima dare" She sang repeating the words over and over now. She was playing with something in her lap and I finally see it's a makeshift doll of a sugar glider. Her voice sounded so said as she hugged the stuffed animal to her. It kind of made me want to walk over and hug her, but the fact of her being my enemy kept my feet planted to the floor standing there watching her. I feel someone come up behind me and the fear of who I knew it was courses through me. I feel their hands slid up my arms to my elbows before wrapping the fingers around them pulling me into their chest, their lips dancing over the skin of my neck I feel tears welling up to my eyes biting my lip down so I wouldn't make a sound. Though Roads song in a way was morbid, I didn't want her to stop, I really didn't want anyone to see me like this. I soon feel myself getting pulled away, pulled away from the song, away from Road. I am soon led out of the dream room to a different one, no furniture was in this room and it made me wonder, what was going to happen? _

_The moment I had the chance to I managed to rip away from the person and run to the other side of the room pressing my back against the wall. I watch as Tyki closes the door and it vanishes leaving me completely trapped within this room with him. The longer I watch him, the longer I stay in this spot, the more and more I wish I had gone back to Kanda's room and grabbed the pills that let me control my own dreams. It made me wish that I wasn't angry with Kanda, if it weren't because of all that then I wouldn't be stuck in this predicament. I could feel my body begin to shack and my breathing become erratic as Tyki slowly began to make his was closer to me. I braced myself, I knew there was no escape but I would run from him about this room as much as I could._

"_Why are you so afraid Allen? It's like this every time you know and it only makes me more worried." He says stopping once he had reached the middle of the standing casually with his arms lazily crossed as he smiled at me._

"_I am NOT afraid Tyki!" I shouted at him, even I couldn't fully believe my own words. "And you're not worried about me! If you were then you wouldn't be tormenting me!" I shout again this time my words stronger, more believable._

"_I do the things because I do care Allen. Look at you, you think just because your friends are there for you mean that you're healing? I watch you very closely my dear boy. You're only getting worst." He says and I could only stare at him with wide eyes._

"_You never truly wanted help. As you think to yourself all the time, you still don't think you need help. I have to agree with you. If Kanda hadn't barged into your that day, you'd still be able to do what you have done since the day General Cross has died." He said once more and I find myself pushing my fingers into my hair the palms of my hands covering my ears._

"_Stop it! You're wrong! All Kanda wants to do is help me! All he wants to do is see me get better so I don't have a reason to cut anymore." I shout at him watching as tears flung from my face._

"_No Allen, it is you who is wrong. You cut because it takes the inner pain away. You were never suicidal so what was wrong with a little incision that would quickly heal in a weak or two? You see Allen, I, understand your pain, I understand why you cut and why I don't wish to change you." He smirked beginning to walk towards me again._

"_Please don't." I beg turning sideways doubling over slightly pressing my palms over my ears as hard as I could._

"_But isn't Kanda the one who is trying to change you? Isn't Kanda the one you always have to wonder if he actually truly loves you? ISN'T Kanda the one who is hiding something from you my dear boy?" He asks finally reaching me grabbing each of my wrists pinning them above my head against the wall, forcing my back to press against the wall again. All I could do was stare at Tyki with fear filled eyes as he loomed over me. I was trapped in his spell and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even move from how afraid I was. All I could do was let out the strangled whimper as it forced its way through my throat. Tyki's smirked only widened as he leaned his head down pressing his lips to my neck once again leaving a trail of kisses up to my ear._

"_Just accept this Allen, its not like its real, you are in a dream of course. But I will have you my dear boy, you will be mine." He whispers his hands trailing down my arms, his fingers dancing lightly over the scars that were upon them. I held back any noises that threatened to come from me. Tyki only chuckled as I felt his lust filled eyes on me watching me trying to fight back._

"_Looks like I have to push you a little further my pet." He says before pressing his lips to mine his hands now grabbing onto my cheeks tilting my head up to give him more access. I had let out a gasp which allowed him to slip his tongue into my mouth, it dancing across my own. My arms had dropped down to my sides as I was still unable to move. I couldn't fight the feeling that it had to be Tyki's doing making sure I couldn't fight back. As he deepened the kiss Tyki pressed his body firmly against mine and I let out another gasp when I felt his knee pressed in between my legs. His hands once more began to roam down my body reaching the bottom of my shirt beginning to slide it up his hands lightly brushing my skin. He momentarily breaks the kiss pulling the shirt completely from before his lips are pressed against mine once more his hands now able to freely roam the skin of my chest. This making it harder and harder to not to make any pleasured sounds as a tiny moan erupted from me. He pulled from the kiss once more and I could see the smirk dancing across his face._

"_Now that's more like it my dear boy." He says and I am letting out another moan when his head descends again biting onto the skin of my neck his hands beginning to roam lower playing with the draw string of my cotton pajama pants before pulling it loose. My breathing became erratic once more his fingertips dancing across the skin of my waist his thumbs hooking to inside the pants slowly pushing them and my boxers down my legs. I began to whimper again trying to beg him to stop but nothing came out. His lips begin to kiss down my chest his mouth moving over to the side taking my nipple bud into his mouth swirling his tongue around it before slightly biting onto it sending waves through me feeling myself clench my fists. I let out another tiny moan when he moved over to the other nipple and one of his hands gently grabbed onto my unwanted hardening erection slowly beginning to pump it. He continued this process for a bit until I was fully hard. He began to kiss down my chest again, I could feel tears falling from my eyes as I begged for Kanda to save me, for anyone to save me really. I knew though that it wasn't going to happen. My eyes widen and I threw my head back when I suddenly feel his mouth around me._

"_N-no….please." I begged my voice cracking as I finally got it back, but he only continued and I only continued to cry and whimper keeping my eyes focused on the blackness above me. I let out a cry though when I feel myself come and I'm left crying even more. _

"_And now…it's your turn my pet." He whispers into my ear and I am forced onto my knees. He kept one hand pressed onto me so I couldn't escape as he fumbled with the zipper of his pants pulling his own hardened erection out and I feel my eyes widen._

_KANDA! _

_I hear myself scream in my head as Tyki began to try and force me to but my mouth around his. I kept my mouth pressed firmly shut and I used my hands to press against his legs to keep myself pressed away. Everything freezes though when I hear what sounds like a sword being pulled from its sheath. Soon Tyki's hand is removed from me and I can drop my hands wrapping them around myself feeling something drape around me before getting picked up._

"_So is this another one of his creations?" Tyki asks stepping back making himself completely presentable now. I see Kanda now with his sword pointed straight ahead at Tyki an evil malicious intent emitting from him easily. I look up to see Cross, the one who was holding me a look of hate also upon his face._

"_No we're actually here you Noah Filth. Touch my Moyashi again and I'll make sure to run you through the next time we meet face to face." Kanda hisses and Tyki can only laugh. I find myself looking up into the blackness above me and I now see three lights and everything around Kanda, Cross and myself freezes and I hear a cracking sound like glass._

"_Well I'll be damned, you're right Kanda." I hear cross say but I couldn't tear away from staring at the lights as I hear the previous dream shatter and fall into the now vast blackness around us. When it was finally gone, I knew it'd be awhile before any of us would allowed to reawake. Lifting my hand towards the lights I touch the water like substance watching as it began to ripple then fall upon us slowly morphing into the field I had created for Kanda and myself before. I was once again wearing my pajamas but I still kept the jacket Cross put on me held tightly around me._

"_I'm such….an idiot." I managed to choke out finally the tears falling rapidly now as I wrap my arms around myself. I feel Cross sit me down into the flowers before someone elses arms are around me keeping me held close. I didn't care with how angry I was at him, I didn't care about our fight, all I wanted was to be held in his arms, all I wanted was to feel safe again. The wall that I had always placed around me finally shattered into tiny pieces and there was nothing I could do even as it formed in the dream around us showing all my hated memories that drove me into this madness. I sat there in Kandas arms watching the memories feeling the reality of each one hit me as my resolve cracked more and more. _

"_Allen stay with us, don't let them consume you!" I hear Cross shout at me I could feel my eyes were as big as saucers tears falling from them as the final memory came and I see myself at a younger age standing before Mana's grave._

"_STOP!" I scream and once again the three of us are floating in darkness the liquid substance spiraling around us._

"_I don't want to see it! I don't want to it anymore! I just want to forget, I want to forget everything!" I began yelling and I feel Kanda's arms encased around me more tightly as the three lights combine with one another and fill the entire area blinding us all. I reach my hand up and I have no clue what I was reaching for, all I knew there was something there and I wanted to grab a hold of it because it was my sanctuary, my resolve, my wall of protection._

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I open my eyes.

I am starring at the ceiling of my masters room my arm still lifted into the air above me clasped shut like I had grabbed onto something. Opening my hand something falls from hit softly landing onto my chest. Lowering my hand I gently pick it up and examine it. A single feather, a grayish feather and I find myself crying again as I curl my legs into my chest turning onto my side holding the feather close to myself. I had no idea what it meant or why it had appeared. I feel myself burry my face into someone's chest as their arms once again wrap around me.

"It'll be okay Moyashi, everything will be okay." I hear Kanda whisper continuously brushing his fingers through my hair. I feel someone sit on the edge of the bed by my and begin to gently rub my arms. I know it's my master, but I couldn't stop my crying, I couldn't stop this feeling of helplessness as everything I had built up came tumbling down and there would be no way I could build it back up as quickly.

"Allen, let it all out. Don't build it up again, not this time." I hear him say but I know that the both of us knew that I was already building up that wall. Building that wall I kept all my horrible memories behind. If I didn't build it then everyone would see what was behind this clown mask. Slowly my crying stopped and all I could do was lie there feeling nothing but a numb feeling looking down at the gray feather and watching at it slowly vanished.

"Moyashi?" I hear Kanda ask and I just lie there unable to move again, but this time it's because I just couldn't. This numb feeling weighed down on me and all I just want to do is lie here and do nothing. I finally lift my head up and see Kanda starring down at me with worried eyes and I can't help but wonder why. He was keeping things from me again, he was lying to me. So that meant he didn't care right?

"Stop…please stop staring at me like that." I say and I'm not surprised at how blank my voice sounds. Kanda pulls me closer to him again forcing my head to turn sideways and rest against his bare chest over the tattoo that was there.

"I'll go get us some tea, we are back to square one again. Square one from when Mana died." I hear Cross sigh before leaving the room. After I hear the door to his room shut I finally force myself to sit up and I feel Kanda follow suit. He just sits there and I know he is waiting on me to say something.

"I'm still angry." I say starring into my lap watching as bruises slowly formed onto my wrists from Tyki and I feel the sting of tears again.

"I know and I will wait as long as it takes until you'll let me make it up to you." He says, I watch as the bruises become darker and the memories flood my mind.

"I screamed for you! I wasn't expecting you to actually come! I was afraid I'd be stuck there!" I choke out and you pull me into your arms again.

"I heard you, and you can always expect me to come for you. I always will. I will never let you get stuck anywhere with him." He answers all of the fears I had voiced and I let out the strangled sob I was holding back unable to stop this time. Kanda just held me even when Cross returned with three cups of tea. Mine went untouched, as did Kanda's. I cried and sobbed until I couldn't shed anymore tears or let out anymore sobs. I sat there in Kanda's arms until the numbness fully engulfed me and the wall I was building was placed back up but the effects from tonight will linger until I am able to finally place them back behind that brick wall.

Morning slowly came and it took me a while to motivate myself to climb out of the bed and climb into the shower. Normally I would look for the razor, but this numb feeling left me even uncaring for that. I stood under the water feeling its warmness starring up at the shower head letting the water pelt against my face. I hear someone climb into the shower with me and I don't even have to look to see who it was, I already knew.

"I know you're worried that I'm going to cut. I don't know how long this numbness is going to last but it won't allow me to cut. It's a feeling of uncaring about anything. Until it vanishes I am stuck in this blackness." I explain and he only hugs onto me pressing his face into my back and I feel his hot tears as he began to shack.

"I swore to you I'd never leave. I swore to you I'd never hurt you. But time and time again those promises are proven empty. But I make you this next promise that will never be broken. I swear to you Allen Walker that I will never stop loving you, I will never stop caring for you and I will never stop worrying about you. I will wait for however long it takes for you to forgive me. I will wait for however long it will take for you to give me a second chance." He says, but I cannot answer for I couldn't give him an answer at this time. His 24 hours was up and I did plan to leave once I was granted that opening.

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**Well there you have it guys chapter Thirteen! GOD this took me forever to type! Sharva is so ahead of me and I still have fourteen and part of fifteen to do! Well lets get started with the next one. The next two will be probably a bit shorter than this here chapter but hey what can you do! ~YaoiFanGirl1990**


	14. Chapter 14

**Strawberry Gashes**

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Chapter Fourteen- Strawberry Gashes All Over

Most of my morning had gone sluggish with it taking me an extra push to do something either from myself or from General Cross yelling at me to get on with it. Then again I had stayed the night in his room and I knew he just wanted me out. By the time I had reached the cafeteria for breakfast most of everyone had already left but the little circle of friends I had. Lenalee saw me and she held that sad face of hers as she starred at me. I could only nod to her before I made my way to Jerry ordering my food. Once I again I could tell he wanted to ask me but didn't. He knew something was up but knew not to question me. Once my food was done I carried the tray and sat down at the table next to Lenalee who just sat there watching me. Everyone else had left by the time I made it there. That was fine with me, I really only wanted it to be Lenalee and I. Once she faced her tray again and began eating I slowly began to eat my own. I wasn't even half way through with eating it when I suddenly lost my appetite and let my head lean over onto her shoulder my eyes closed.

"I'm making you worry again." I whisper and I feel her head tilt against my own and I hear her sigh.

"Don't worry about it Allen, Kanda told me what happened. At the moment he is keeping Lavi busy so he doesn't bother you too much." She explains and I could only sadly smile.

"Thank you for being here for me Lenalee. You truly are a great friend." I tell her and she sighs heavily again.

"I'm always here for you silly! Stopping forgetting that, just get better so we all can have fun again." She says and I only nod my head before sitting back up and finishing my food. She had finished eating first and left, probably to go find Lavi. I wasn't that far behind her when I finished eating but I went to my room instead of anywhere else. I stood in the darkness my back leaned against the closed door blinding flipping the lock. I smile when Timcanpy flies over and lands onto my shoulder rubbing against my cheek.

"I know, but we have to go. I told everyone what would happen if I wasn't told the truth." I say and walked to the closet pulling the suitcase from it plopping it onto the bed and flipped it open. Everyone would be busy and giving me space before they ever realize that I had left. I quickly fill the suit case before slamming it shut. I open the window to my room using the drain pipe nearby to climb down. I wasn't surprised how easy it had been to get out. My way into town was even easier. I walked through town my destination focused on the train station. I bought a ticket for the farthest place I could afford. Timcanpy and I now waited on a bench waiting for our train to arrive. My suitcase was laid in my lap. Deep down I knew I wouldn't be able to go at this journey alone, but I'd wait until I was at my new destination before deciding on what to do.

"ALL ABOARD WHO'S COMING ABOARD!" I heard the conductor call out loudly and I look up to see that it was our train number. Standing to my feet I walk onto the train keeping my head down until was seated and then I was staring out the window my clunked against the glass. I had the hood to my exorcist jacket pulled up over my head and I made sure my gloves were securely on my hands. Slowly the train began to fill up and I wasn't surprised that no one sat near me. I of course did look like a suspicious fellow. In reality I just wanted to be left alone. I could feel fresh tears coming on, I never thought that it would come to this. I never thought that I'd leave the Black Order. But all I could do was remind myself that everyone brought this upon themselves. I did warn them, and I knew none of them actually though that I'd leave. I kind of wish I could be there to see their faces when the realization did hit them.

I was hoping to use this now freedom to clear my head and possibly get stronger but I knew that wouldn't happen. I was glad Kanda had brought al the pill bottle into Cross's room so I had easier access to getting them. I had at least a month's worth left and that meant I had a month of sleep left. After that I planned to never sleep again. It would keep Tyki off my ass and possibly throw him off my tail after a while. The train soon began to move and I was happy for that. The closest place I could afford a ticket for and leave me at least some money for a few nights at a few inns was 200 miles away. Which meant I was going to be on the train for the next couple hours, Timcanpy now sat in my lap curled and I sat there watching the scenery pass by. I felt like I was going on a solo mission except this one was given to me by myself and the requirements were to always stay one step ahead of the other exorcists, well I certainly have a challenge on my hands. All I have to do is avoid going anywhere I've already been.

As the day pressed on I could feel the disheartening feeling of wanting to be in Kanda's arms but I knew that I couldn't go back now. I couldn't go back and throw the very thing I was trying to do. I wouldn't be able to prove a point if I went back, it would only show that I was giving up and that I couldn't live without Kanda…well that was partly true. One I never give up, but the other part was true in a way. There was no way I would be able to live without Kanda so I knew the moment him and I came face to face I'd go back but I'd live on my own as long as I could. Eventually my eyes slipped close and I fell into a light sleep.

I didn't wake again until I had reached the stop I was to get off at. I still felt tired and I was surprised that I wasn't visited in my dreams, maybe sleeping during the day is a better way to avoid Tyki, but…I wasn't going to chance anything. Walking off of the train I let out the breath I was holding and aimlessly walked around town purposely getting lost in hopes to find the most out of the way inn that was hard to locate. I found it by nightfall, it was called Merry Mountain Inn. I was ecstatic when I found the place to be quiet cheap and included room and board. I would spend the night here before deciding anything more on what to do in the morning. Maybe Asarina could help me, I could tell she didn't really want to be at the Order maybe this will be giving her the way out that she needs.


	15. Chapter 15

**Strawberry Gashes**

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Chapter Fifteen- Call Her Over

My morning after staying the first night at the Inn was kind of boring. All I could really do was either walk around the place or read the pamphlets that were in the room. I had already eaten breakfast and I was out on the town exploring a bit. I was trying to 100% decide whether or not I was going to contact Asarina. But I had to find some way to know that she was alone. I could always have another person call for me pretend to be a friend of hers if someone else answers but I knew that wouldn't really work all that much. So once again I was at square one. Sitting in a tree watching a group of kids playing kick the can in the park like area I held Timcanpy in my hands. I was so lost at what to do and I needed to think up something fast for at least by tonight. After a bit Timcanpy flew out of my hands and bopped me in the head before flying in a circle around my head.

"What are you trying to get at Timcanpy I don't understand?!" I say leaning back looking up through the tree limbs starring at the clouds as they hover ahead. I feel myself becoming annoyed as Timcanpy continued to bop me in the head. I know he was trying to tell me something but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. There was one thing I did know and that was whatever he was trying to tell it was something I was forgetting something I was missing. Jumping from the tree I slowly began to make my way back to the inn. My hands were stuffed into my jacket pockets as I neared the inn once more. As I walk into the place I see the reflection of Timcanpy in a mirror but it was slightly distorted and shadowy and I feel my eyes widening in realization. Grabbing the yellow flying golem I run up the stairs. I make sure all of the windows are covered and that the door was locked.

"Timcanpy hook up with Kanda's golem and have him fly to Komui's office. They all should be looking for me by now." I tell him standing by the foot of the bed and watch as Timcanpy's mouth opens and becomes wide turning into a surveillance camera. I watch as Kanda's golem leaves our shared room and begins to fly down the hallway of the order going towards Komui's office. My eyes narrow and I feel myself smirk as I see that there was a meeting going on and not long after Kanda's golem had gotten there that Asarina was left alone. Waving my hand at Timcanpy he closes the connection and I pick up the phone that was in the room dialing to direct number to Komui's office phone. It begins to ring and I sit on my bed. I smirk when I finally hear it picked up.

'_Hello?_' My smirk only grows wider and I know I have finally gotten my chance to ensure the Black Order never finds me again.

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**Asarina POV-**

I was in my room most of the time. I only really left to get food and then i would return to my room. I could tell everyone was worried about me but what really annoyed me was the fact that they would not leave me alone. Lavi kept trying to talk to me about how avoiding my problems would only make me worse and that keeping my distance was making things worse. I just told him to mind his own business. Kanda was too busy trying to deal with Allen and Narul was mostly with him. I still can't believe that he decided to go along with my scheme. I just wanted to punch him.

Allen was just someone I could not look at but apperently he understood what i was feeling. He was feeling betrayed by everyone for keeping a secret that I had created. If he knew that it was my fault that they are hiding something from him. He might get mad at me as well. General Cross was the one who did not leave me alone. He wanted to make sure I was going to be okay and he was also the one keeping Narul out of trouble.

Then there was Lenalee. She wanted to know why I did not tell anyone the moment I got here and what my deal with her brother was; I just ignored her most of the time. Komui was the one person I just wanted to avoid. Most of the time he was trying to find me. I could not find myself to be alone with him. I was afraid of something happening. I wanted to forget what had happened between us. My thoughts were intrupted by my door opening and the wind on my back; I knew it was my fireball.

"Mom, you have to come to Komui's office." He said and he sounded worried.

I turn to look at him and gave him a puzzled look. "Why? Does Komui want to talk and bribing you with chocolate?" I reply to him.

"No, Allen is missing" Narul said half crying and then he landed on my shoulder. "We have to hurry."

Just like that I was running down the hallway thinking why would Allen leave and it was probably all my fault. When i reached the office. I noticed the door was opened and so I calmly walked in. I noticed Kanda was looking worried and Cross was concerned.

"Asarina, thank you for coming." Komui said and I noticed he was a bit happy to see me.

"So, does anyone know where Allen could be?" I finally ask looking to each person.

Everyone kept thinking of places. Narul thought of the bathroom and everyone laughed. Someone mentioned the cottage in woods, and Cross listed Allen's favorite towns. Lenalee and Lavi mentioned his favorite eat in places.

"Okay, so now we have a list of places." Komui said and stood up. "Now lets get moving." Just like everyone got up and left. Even Komui left with out looking at me.

My heart sank. I feared that would happen. Komui hated me now and once I got Kalira back, I would leave and never return. I just sat there and was now feeling like crying. I stood up to leave when the phone suddenly rang. At first I just stood there. Komui was out and it just ketp ringing.

"Hello," I said as i picked up the phone.

* * *

**Who is Asarina on the phone with? Komui can not even look at her. Wow so much going on. Will this termoil in her head and heart ever stop? Just wait and see in the next chapters to come.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Strawberry Gashes**

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Chapter Sixteen- Asked Her if He Was Improving

The phone was silent for about ten seconds "Asarina, is anyone there with you?" the voice had asked. I now knew who I was talking to. I could not believe that I was on the phone with Allen.

"Allen, where are? Everyone is worried sick about you!" I half say and half yell. "Why did you leave in the first place?"

"I was tired of everyone lying to me and Kanda could barely look at me anymore." He said through the phone and I could tell that he had been crying. Or at least he sounded like he had been.

"They only do it to protect you, kind of like the way I protect Narul." I say calmly and playing with the phone cord. "Allen, please come back. Kanda is really up set that you left."

"I dont care if he is up set with me. He should have not been keeping secrets from me." Now his voice was pure anger. "I called to talk to you because so far you are the only one I feel I could trust." My heart sank and if only he knew the truth, I bet he would regret his last words.

"What can I do to help?" I finally asked after a few minutes of silence. I was not prepared for his response.

"I need Narul and you to come get me." He said and then I realized this was my chance to get Kalira back.

"Where are you at? Give me sometime to pack and I'll be there within two hours, depending on how far away you are from Paris." I tell him "I need to get away. Komui is creeping me out." The last part being a lie, but of course he didn't know that.

"I'm at the Merry Mountain Inn. About 200 miles west of paris." He tells me calmly, "Don't tell anyone that you talked to me."

"Okay, well I need to get off before anyone comes in. We will figure out where to go once I get there." I say in a hurry.

"Okay, see you soon." He says and then hangs up. After i hang up, the next step I take is I take a piece of paper from my pocket. I reach for the phone and begin to dial the number. I find a map while the phone rings. I look at where Allen is and then find the nearest forest that is far from any town.

"Hello, may I ask who is calling?" The voice on the other side asked. I could only roll my eyes at it.

"It's me, Asarina, who else would it be?!" I say as calmly as possible and trying not to sound afraid.

"Well, what can I do for you?" He asks.

"The Highland woods. Be there in two days at sunset, I will have what you desire." I say with out hesiation, "Make sure you bring Kalira and she better not be harmed or I will kill you."

"Well, I can't believe you managed to kidnap him. I will see you there." He says laughing and hangs up.

I slam the phone down. I grab a pen and circle the location and write down for everyone to be there in two days at sunset. I could not believe how easy it was to get Allen to tell me where he was; let alone how easy he was to trust me. I leave the office and hurry back to my room to pack. Once in my room, I grab my travel bag and start packing. I pack some things for Kalira, then i pack a change of clothes, my short red yukata, my black pants and my red gloves. I pack food, water, money and a few blankets. I was now trying to figure out how to leave.

"Narul, you ready to fly?" I ask my fireball as I stand in the window.

"Yes." he says and then leaves my hair and flys out the window. He goes a far distance and when he returns, he is now the fire breathing monster of legends. I climb on his back and we take off. "Are we doing the right thing?" He asks.

"Don't worry, they will know where to find us." I tell him as we head toward the inn. The feeling of being high in sky and far away from the black order was amazing. Yet i wished Komui was not mad at me. In any case we fly for about two hours and land a few miles outside of town. It was then a merchant stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride. I glady acceepted and I could feel Narul in my hair. He usually always hid in the company of strangers but occasinaly he would start talking if he felt comfortable.

After arriving in the busy town, I got down from the wagon and thanked the merchant. I was left trying to find my way to the inn Allen was at. After reciving directions every time I got lost; I finally found it. Once inside I tried to find Allen but it was so crowded that it was hard to see. Eventually I found an empty table and sat down. I needed to clear my head amd organize how I was going to do this.

"Glad you made it." A familiar voice said, I turn around to see Allen smiling at me. Despite everything that had happened, I was not sure if I could do this.

"Glad you are all right. Everyone is worried about you." I tell him as he sits down. I notice Narul poke his head out and waved a paw to Allen. Then he went back into my hair.

"You tell me that but I don't think they are; were you followed?" He asks me and knowing the truth of that matter was a little bit of both.

"No, Narul and I left the order through my window." I say to him. "Using the front gate would have caused some concerns."

"I still don't think anyone is worried about me. If there were then Kanda or someone should have told me the truth." He said sadly and my hidden plan was taking its toll on him. I could only stare at him for the time being. "I just feel so betrayed and no one trusts me it seems."

"They trust you Allen but sometimes people keep secrets to protect the ones they care most about." I tell him while I feel like vomiting. It's all my fault that this has happened. "Things only get better from here."

"So, what happened in the office between the mad scientist and you? Everyone was looking concerned but then noticed me." Allen asks as he gave me a puzzled look. I still dont understand why he looks so much like my mom, I only had one picture of her.

"Well, its complicated. I was not paying attention at the meeting and he yelled at me." I say hoping he believes my lie.

"You do know he has a major serious crush on you right?" Allen states and I find it hard to believe. "Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you anything about the meeting. Right now, I can only trust you."

"Kanda is worried about you, Lenalee looked like she had been crying, Lavi was upset, General Cross looked like he wanted to kill someone and Komui looked depressed." I tell him trying my hardest to stay calm.

"So what, If they told me the truth I never would have left and I'm done with everything." He says and stands up. "Come on upstairs, I got a double bed room."

"Good idea, Allen" Narul says as he yawns. "I'm ready for bed." I reach back in my hair and pat his head and I feel him lick my hand. He had a long flight but I know he is happy.

As we walk up the stairs to the room with Allen I wonder if i should sedate him before we meet up with Tyki, and maybe I should tie him up. Never the less, I really did not want to do this.

"Here is the room." He says breaking my train of thought and opens the door. "Now lets get some sleep."

We took turns changing in the bathroom. When I got out, I noticed Narul sleeping on a pillow that was on the bed closest to the window. I could only laugh at my fireball cause Allen was making an angry face at him.

"Its the window." I say as I walk over to them. "The window gives him a sense of not being in a cage."

"I didn't realize he had an anxiety issue." Was Allen's response. "How did he get that?"

"Well, he got out one day and was found by a person in town. They needed money and caught him." I explain as I sat down beside my little guy. "They put him in a cage. My dad and I went to look for him. It was then I noticed him in a metal cage, crying in the market. We walked over to the merchant with the guards. The merchant put up an argument but in the end it was give me Narul or face criminal punishment."

"Why would he face criminal punishmemt?" He asks with a puzzled look.

"My dad was a member of the Chineese imperial court and had documents that proved Narul was mine." I say smiling.

"Wow and by the looks of it you won." Allen said laughing and climbed into the other bed. "Its no big deal. I understand."

"I love Narul and I'm willing to do anything to protect the ones I love." I say getting under the covers. "Night Allen, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

"Okay night, and you're right we have a lot of walking." He replies with a yawn before closing his eyes and falls asleep.

I cannot believe he is trusting me. I was leading him to his doom if the others did not see the mark on the map. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep eventually.

* * *

**Day One**

Day one of our journey began with breakfast at the inn. Narul decided to come out from my hair at the smell of bacon. I swear this dragon only thinks of eating pigs and cows. It was funny seeing all these people who were just waking up and think they are still dreaming. Most of them had hangovers, which only made it ten times more funnier.

The maids and owner of the inn seemed to enjoy him. Up untill they ran out of bacon, although Narul helped a lot by keeping the stove nice and hot. Also he kept the furnace running. I could only smile at how happy he was. After paying for our stay we left and headed to the next town. Unsure of what to say to Allen as we walk, our journey to the Highland Woods was going to be hell. Im not sure how long we walked before i noticed Narul fly out of my hair.

"When can we take to the sky?" The playful little guy asks as he does loops. "I want to go high in the sky."

"Fireball, we are not yet far enough from the city." I explain to him. "You fly around but do not go too far. Stay close." Was my final warning to him. Then he dissapeared into the trees.

"Well, he sure is eager to fly away." Allen says smiling. "Does he get out much?"

"He does but he does not trust that many people. When we travel on the open roads and through the forests, he likes to explore." I calmly explain. "So, you know a little about me. What was your family like?"

"Well, I can't remember my mother or father. I was taken in by a traveling circus for a while, but unfortunately I was treated very poorly there. That's when Mana found me and took me in. He was my only family in a sense." He says sadly.

"Well, what happened to him?" I ask trying to figure out his pain.

"Well, I turned him into an Akuma, when the Millennium Earl told me he could bring him back, got cursed by Mana and found out that I was an accommodator of innoscence. I also met General Cross around then, the man took me in and became another father figure to me I guess." He says calmly, a bit too calmly in my point of view.

"Who is the Millennium Earl?" I ask it seems Cross had not told me many things I should have been warned about.

"Well he created the akuma and he has sided with the Noah Family." He tells me. I can see his hands clench into fists. "The Noahs are far worse than him. They lie, cheat, and hurt anyone who gets in their way." He picks up the pace and I'm left wondering if giving Allen to Tyki is a bad idea but I have to get Kalira back. My thoughts are broken by a sound not too far away.

"Mommy, I hurt my wing. "I hear Narul yell in the distance. "I flew into a tree chasing a squirrel."

I can see him walking toward us and carrying the squirrel in his mouth. "You little devil, how can you already be hungry after eating over 300 slices of bacon, 40 steaks and 20 eggs." I say running past Allen to get him.

Placeing the squirrel down and looks up me to smiling. "I was hungry and I wanted to hunt."

"Narul, you have to be more careful." I say as I pick him up.

"You forgot the squirrel." He says and points to the dead animal.

"You really are a handful." I hear Allen say as he stands beside me and then he begins to laugh. "So are you going to pick that up?"

Eventually we decided to rest and that way someone could eat his catch of the day. Thankfully his wing is not broken but it is only sore. After he eats he climbs up my leg and hides back in my hair, and soon we are back on our way. It was then Allen became quiet and I did as well. I could not think of a single thing to ak him. I know that talking about the Noahs was a very bad idea. Kanda had told me that was a subject not worth talking about.

After about a good three hours walk, we finally reach the town of Highland. We walk around to find a place to stay for the night. As we head up stairs, I thought I saw Kanda. If it was truly him, then that means they have already formed a plan. Step one would be to remian out of sight untill tomorrow after sunset.

"Tomorrow is going to be a disaster." I say out loud as we entered the room.

"Why is that?" Allen asks giving me a worried look.

"Don't get worked up but I thought I saw Kanda as we were walking upstairs." I tell him. I saw his eyes just glare and his face turn pale.

"Well then we leave extra early and then where do we go to so we can avoid him?" Allen looks at me and I finally have him right where I want him to be.

"We can take the dangerous path through the Highland forest. No one travels it anymore." I suggest to him

"What is in those woods?" Was his next response.

"Well, they were cursed after the new road was built by a witch and all who enter are never seen again." I explain to him. I wait for his answer. Sure enough, he agrees to take the path and now comes the most difficult part of my mission. If it was not Kanda I had seen earlier, at least I would have the means to track him for four days. My thoughts now went from that to my reunion with Kalira. We say good night and fall asleep but only to see Narul doing summer saults in the air. His wing was now ready for flight.

* * *

**Day Two**

We wake up, pay and leave. I feel terrible in a way. I know what happens at sun set and i just can't get over it. What if Kanda and the others are not actually here yet? I have no choice but to sedate him.

"Asarina, are you okay?" Allen asks as we walk towards the woods. His eyes look so much like my moms now.

"I'm fine." Was the only thing I can say to him and I just walk on a head. Not wanting to be by him. I secretly hand Narul the needle with fluid needed to put him out. We walk in silence. I have a feeling Allen might decide to run.

"Are you sure you know where we are going?" He finally asks, but then out of no where, Narul injects him. "What...was...that...for?" Were his last words before he fell to the ground.

"He is out now mommy?"Narul asks sadly. "Why do we have to do this."

"It is for your sisters sake that we do this." I reply as I tie Allens wrist together. "Time to grow bigger. We will fly from here to the clearing."

He can tell I didn't want this but we have no choice. My only hope is that Kanda and the others see Narul take off. I had decided to wear my short yukata and black pants. I was unsure of what would occur. Eventually we reach the clearing. My heart and mind are about to break. Im getting her back but giving up someone to take her place. How could I let this happen? First she was taken, the deal was made, my first plan, and then Komui. Just thinking about him brought me to tears. Narul is looking at the sky. That is when I noticed the sun was setting.

"Well, I'm glad you made it, Night Tracker." I turn around to see Tyki by a tree on the other side of the clearing. "It amazes me that you tricked him."

"Where is Kalira?" I scream in anger and trying to hold back tears. "I want to see her."

"Don't worry. She is fine." Road says coming out from behind the tree. Kalira is wrapped in the same blanket as last time I saw her.

I notice Allen is waking up and then his eyes open. I notice him freeze when he sees Tyki and Road. "_Why are you doing this?!_" He screams at me. "How can you do this?"

"Well, looks like my pet is finally awake. I'm happy you sedated him Night Tracker." Tkyi says walking toward us. He stops when Narul growls at him.

I signal Narul to follow me. We walk to the middle of the clearing. "This is as far as I go. Bring me my daughter, now." I say.

At once Road and Tyki start their walk toward us. Road looks sad but cheerful at the same time somehow. Tyki has a look of madness upon his face. I feel emotions of guilt but Allen's face is calm. If he trusted me before, my hope is that he trusts me still now.

Road runs ahead and hands me Kalira. "Don't worry I took good care of her. I could never hurt something as cute as her." Road says smiling.

"Now hand over Allen." Tyki says and thats when we all hear a loud opera voice and a katana come between Tyki and us.

"_Kanda!_" I shout all at once Narul grabs me and Allen. The next thing I know we are in the sky high above. We see Cross, Lenalee, Lavi, a short old guy with a pony tail and Kory. Narul drops Allen off by Cross which he unfortunately lands on top of the general, I'll apologize to him later for that. Then we head off toward the forest before landing somewhere in the middle of the forest away from the fighting.

I cant help but cry at how she is sleeping. "My little girl, I'm sorry." I whisper to her. I sat down next to Narul and just cradle her. The fight must not have been that long cause in the distance i hear voices. It sounds like they are talking about what color scales Kalira had.

"So what color are they?" I hear Lavi ask me as loud as possible, the moment he woke her up she started crying and I could only shoot a glare at the one eyed red head.

As I hold her and rock her, Cross comes up behind Lavi and smacks his head. "You idiot, who ever said Kalira was a dragon? Kalira is Asarina's child and human at that." He yells.

It was then that I stand up "Narul can carry all of us back to the order." I say and climb on his back. Everyone else gets on as well. Cross grabs Allen and keeps him from falling off. The flight back was quiet and long. My mind would never quiet or be calm until I was safe on the ground with my daughter. I don't know how long we had been flying until Narul began to speak.

"Hey, I can see the tower from here." He says happily. "Oh man! Why does Komui have to be waiting for us?!" It was then everyone starts to laugh. When we land Komui helps me down and he is shocked that Kalira is a child. It was then Allen got off that things went badly.

"So, this was the secret that was kept from me?!" He yells and makes his hands clench into fist.

"It was my fault Allen. I asked them not to say anything. I had to get Tyki to believe that I was not setting him up. "I calmly say and I notice his eyes are not on me but on Kanda.

"_Bakanda!_" He yells and then runs into the order. Kanda and Lenalee follow him immediately. Cross just looks at me. The rest of us enter the order and I go to my room and get changed. After that Reever knocks, the science team sets up a crib, and changing table for Kalira.

"Well that was nice of them." I say putting Kalira down in the crib.

"I guess." Was Narul's answer, "I still think Komui had something to do with this."

"Even if he did. I'm greatful." I snap back, "Keep an eye on your sister. I have to explain things to Allen." I explain now heading to his room. On the way there I hear talking from up ahead. I could tell Kanda is very furious that Allen won't let anyone in once again. My name is mentioned as being an actual mother. I look to see Kanda walking away from Allen's room.

"This is your fault!" He stops in my way and says, "You should never have come here."

"Do you really think I wanted this to happen?" I ask angrily.

"I don't know Night Tracker." Was his snarky reply his eyes narrowing at me.

I find myself smacking Kanda across the face and kneeing him in the gut, he is now on the ground "So, what if I am the assassin known as Night Tracker." I snap, "If everything went south we would have had only four days to find him before the device I put in him went dead."

I walk around him and continue to Allens room. Once there I get composed. "Allen, it's me Asarina. I just want to talk." I say and expect to be told to leave. Instead the door opens and I quickly enter.

"Did Kanda put you up to this?" Was his first question. I could tell he was very pissed.

"No, but now that it's over, I think you should know what exactly went on in that meeting." I tell him as I lean against the wall. "Just remember that it was my fault they kept it from you."

I then explain the whole event with Kalira being kidnapped by Tyki and Road, the bargian, and me accepting it. He seemed shocked at some parts.

"Then Cross came to me and asked about it. Next thing I knew I was explaining my situation and about Kalira." I say while walking toward the window. "After that Kanda said we should do the plan and even though he knew it might backfire. Cross agreed immediately and everyone else agreed eventually."

"I see." Was the only thing he could he say. After a brief silence he continued. "So, me contacting you to get me put your plan in motion? How did they find us?"

"Who those two bastard Noah's or the ones part of the meeting?" I asked trying to figure out who he meant.

"I guess both." Was his reply and I could tell that he was unsure of what to think.

"I marked the meeting place on a map and left it on Komui's desk and called Tyki from a number he gave me the night I was separated from my baby." I explain going toward him, "In any case you know the truth. So, don't get mad at your friends. If anything be mad at me."

"How can I be mad at you? You may have caused it but you have a child." Allen said, "I'm only really mad at Kanda. That is why I left."

"Are you going to be okay? Don't hide in your room. I can always send Narul to get you out of here." I warn him heading toward the door.

"I won't sulk in here and I think I might go to sleep." He says with a yawn pulling a bottle of pills from his suitcase.

"The sedation drug might still be in your system. I'm here if you need to talk about anything." I say as I leave his room and walk down the hallway. I notice Lenalee staring at me with hopefulness.

"He is going to be just fine. Right now he is sleeping and I think we should as well." I say her and I continue walking to my room. I had to get back to check on my two little ones. Once inside my room I check on them and both are sound asleep in the crib. I change and climb into bed. Slowly I drifted to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Hey we're back and I hope you enjoyed Chapter Sixteen! That was our major worry was that chapter! Also everyone give Sharva a round of applause on it she did a great job ^_^! This chapter and the next chapter are written by me YaoiFanGirl. At the end of this chapter I will type out all the character POV's each of us type just so everyone knows who exactly is writing which characters parts.**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen- She Said

I had only walked with Asarina until we reached her room and she disappeared inside. Even though that she was the one who in a way caused all this trouble, but I couldn't blame her. She had her child to protect and I knew if it were anyone else in the order the same plan would have been formed. I can't blame Allen for being mad at any of us because we did in a way back stab him. I know Asarina said that he was going to be just fine but I couldn't help the sinking feeling that he is about to only get worst. I snap out of my thoughts to see myself still standing in the hallway starring at her door. I look back to behind me in the direction of Allen's room and I am itching to go back and plead to for him to let me in and talk to him. I knew it would be pointless and I can't help the over whelming feeling of wanting to cry. Allen has never gotten this mad at any of us before even when we were first hiding something from him. Now I see why Asarina was hesitant in doing this plan. Taking a deep breath I quickly begin walking down the hallway one set destination in my mind as I hoped my brother wouldn't get in my way. I doubted it though lately his thoughts had been on Asarina and that made me happy with the thought that maybe he'd leave my love life alone finally. Finally reaching my destination I stare at the door unsure as to why I was so afraid at the moment before reaching up and knocking on the wooden door dropping my head to stare at my feet. I continue to stare at them even when the door opens and I am surrounded in the light from inside.

"Lenalee? Are you alright?" I can only smile sadly and walk forward before leaning my forehead onto his shoulder finally feeling the dam of tears flood open my hands grabbing onto the front of his black t-shirt. He doesn't say anything and just wraps his arms securely around me leaning his head against mine; in a way cradling me to him.

"I can't take this Lavi! I can't take seeing all the pain most of everyone is going through. First it's Allen being stuck in his depression of darkness. Next it's Asarina for who knows why! And then it's my brother who watches Asarina with sad eyes knowing he can't have her. The finally it's Kanda who is obviously stuck in a rut not knowing what to do to help Allen when Allen doesn't let him or any of us in! I don't know what to do Lavi; I'm scared of losing any more of our friends!" I cry into his shoulder feeling myself beginning to shack in his arms.

"Come on let's get you inside and laid down, you can sleep in here with me tonight." He says softly keeping me held close to him in a way then leading me into the room shutting the door behind us. I am led to the bed where he sits me down before going off disappearing to another area of his room and coming back with a white t-shirt and gray cotton pajama pants. I nod my thanks to him before slowly changing there with him sitting on the bed next to me. After changing the both of us just lie on top of the covers facing one another. I had my eyes lightly closed in relaxation from him gently brushing his fingers through my hair.

"I know how you feel. Trust me I do. I don't know what to do for Allen and Asarina since the both of their situations are oddly similar with their attitudes matching as well. Asarina let Komui and Cross handle her. Allen same thing but with Kanda and Cross dealing with his ass! For them there is nothing the two of us can do. For Kanda well all we can do is stand by his side and be there for him when he comes to us for help or advice. He may act like a moody asshole but he's as clueless as a grade schooler when it comes to love. And for your brother, just your presence alone as his sister is enough to help him through the hard times Lenalee. And for you I am always here like I know you're there for me." Lavi explains and I open my eyes to see him slightly starring up at the ceiling with far away eyes and all I can do is smile. My boyfriend had to be one of the greatest people I know.

Lifting up onto my knees I lean forward and press my lips to Lavis', running my fingers into his hair pushing the bandana from him. Lavi kisses me back and snaking his arm around my waist pulling me down onto him. I feel his hands run up my back pushing the white shirt up and off of me tossing it somewhere in the room before his hands are back roaming along my skin. I break away from the kiss for a moment starring down at Lavi with a smile, he smiles back at me reaching up with his hand and pushing his fingers into my hair.

"Lenalee I want to spend every day for the rest of my life with you." He whispers and I feel happiness welling up inside of me as I kiss him. No other movement is made and I just lie there on top of him in his strong arms kissing him. We soon just break away and just lie there quietly again in each other arms. I eventually find myself dozing off and soon I am left in the dream world.

* * *

_**Lavi's POV-**_

I sat awake starring down at Lenalee a small smile dancing across my face. She was so cute when she was asleep. When she came to my room a few hours ago, she had me so worried, especially when she broke down in tears. She has been holding in quite a bit and I can't blame here. Like Allen I worry about her mental health because the both of them are always trying to make the rest of the world happy before themselves. I care about Lenalee a lot and I hate seeing her upset, and it makes me frustrated when I see her getting worked up over the same things. I'm just glad she finally came to me instead of it eventually eating at her and she one day just blows up. Leaning down I place a small kiss on her forehead before slipping out of the bed and leaving her note I went to go get a midnight snack, just in case she wakes up. It was past midnight actually rounding to be 4 am, and soon people would be waking up. As I'm walking through the halls I am shocked when I see Allen heading towards the exit, probably to go to town. I know some places were probably open, but why would he be going this early in the morning. I didn't want to think about it, but I knew it was probably him going out and buying a new razor since all his others were confiscated. I had no proof to prove this allegation against him and I probably should follow him, but…It would look strange for me to follow him in only pajama pants. And, by the time I went back for a shirt and go back over here he'd be way well into town. Kanda was probably already awake and in the dojo and I knew I should go tell him, but at the moment there was already enough going on between them and things needed to cool down and I wasn't about to start another fight. So I continued on to the cafeteria to sneak into the kitchen get some food and go back to sleep.

* * *

**Well here is chapter seventeen. I know it's kind of short but I am running low on awakeness and my caffeine is doing nothing for me so this is what you get LOL! Also I am sorry for there not being a WHOLE lemon scene between Lavi and Lenalee, it's been AGES since I've done a Male X Female goody goodness scene that well….I just couldn't accomplish this. So, I'm just gonna stick to what I think I do best, yaoi goody goodness scenes! Well let's hope the next chapter is better!**

**YaoiFanGirl1990(Me) : Everyone minus Asarina, Narul, Millennium Earl**

**Sharva: Some of everyone minus Allen, Kanda, Tyki, Road**

**At the moment though I am doing the majority of everyone. I will be typing out a Komui POV here soon but it is mainly written by Sharva since she knows his character personality better than I, along with the Millennium Earl's. Hopefully by the sequel I will be able to write their POV's if not Sharva will be writing their parts once again! Well Until next time. Please Review us we love our reviews. Also after chapter 21 is posted Sharva and I won't post for a bit because Chapters 22-24 will be brainstormed heavily and that might take us a bit of time. Just an early heads up!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Okay so here I am on a half brain because I am so exhausted! I didn't get much sleep so yea I am just bleh and trying to write a chapter. Well with the personality of this chapter…my bleh'ness is going to help it. LOL I hope you guys enjoy this we are finally back in Allen's POV, YAY! So yea enjoy and don't forget to review at the end!**

**Kurie-Tibiti: You will be getting your wish this chapter about Kanda LOL xD. Though...this chapie isn't all happy and giggles.**

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Chapter Eighteen- Feels Fine

Even though I had told Asarina that I was going to go to sleep, I never actually did. I only laid in my room starring up at the ceiling with blank eyes remembering what all had just occurred, my most recent dream encounter with Tyki, and everything else in between. Timcanpy was curled up on the pillow next to mine and I just smile. Sitting up I pull my knees up to my chest and just sit there feeling that urge again. This time it was even greater and I had already ransacked my room once looking for anything to relieve this pain. There was a razor lodged in the corner in the wall, but it was wedged in so far I couldn't get it out. Walking over to the closet I pulled out another one of my many long sleeved shirts adding my exorcist jacket as well pulling the hood over my head. I left my black pajama pants on before slipping on my shoes and headed out the door. No one would be up this early in the morning. Sides from Kanda, he was probably at the dojo by now, most likely has been there since last night when we got back. Letting out a sigh I turned down a corner which led to the main gates to the order leaving and heading into town.

In town it was quiet and very little people were out, most were the drunks trying to get home or go to an inn for the night. There were the shop owners who were heading to their shops to open up for us early morning shoppers. The air was still nippy and cold but I didn't mind it as I reached the place I was looking for. It was the only shop that never closed. A supporter of the Order opened it and always kept it open. At this time though I knew she wasn't in, so I wouldn't be questioned with what I was buying. I walk in and see the cashier girl behind the counter talking with a customer, or probably her boyfriend, giggling and flirting away. So she didn't notice me walk in. I was okay with that as I headed down the isle I knew so well. I stood in front of the sharp objects. I could feel my breathing becoming eratic again before I finally reached out and took hold of the item. I knew I was screwed the moment someone found out about it. After I paid for it I simply slipped the package of four razors into my inner jacket pocket and headed straight back to the Order. When I get back I don't head straight for my room. My eyes are set on another direction and I find myself standing infront of the doors to the Dojo.

"Well this is defiantly going to be interesting." I whisper to myself and push open the door silently slipping inside and shutting the door silently. Kanda was seated in the middle of the room meditating. I could feel my anger building slightly as I peeled my exorcist jacket off and laid it onto the floor before I turned back to my idiot of a boyfriend. He still hadn't shown any signs of noticing I was there. Well, he did notice he showed no signs of acknowledging me! Pulling my shoes off I kept one held into my hand gripping onto it tightly before reeling my arm back then chuncked the shoe as hard as I could. It connected with the back of Kanda's head. I had slowly walked out until I was a couple feet from him waiting for him to regain composure from me snapping him from his meditation. My arms were at my sides, my hands clenched into fists. The anger inside me had reached ultimate boiling point and it was boiling over the pot becoming oil and feeding the flame.

"Moyashi...I know you're upset but can we try to calm down so you and I can talk this out?" He asked standing to his feet reaching out to grab me but I stepped back.

"No!" I snap and his eyes widen in shock from the hate in my voice. His shock turns to his stoic mask and I'm angered even more. "I'm not upset...I'm fucking pissed! This is now TWICE you have kept something from me! First knowing about the return of my master and now this...I don't know what I should be more angry about...You keeping it from me or the fact that you were the one to come up with the plan!" I yelled.

"It is why I didn't want you to worry about it! If you knew the plan you might not have been able to make your part believable Allen." His response makes me snap and I am suddenly directly in front of him punching him across the face. I'm not shocked that it sent him to the floor onto his back.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME ACTING ABILITIES KANDA! BEFORE ANY OF YOU KNEW ABOUT MY CONDITION I WAS ACTING EVERYDAY!" I scream at him grinding my teeth together and feeling my body shack. Nothing else is said after that and the both of us are fighting once more. But not your normal sparring trying to up the other. Kanda had tackled me to the ground and the both of us wrestled around trying to subdue the other. Punching each other, kicking one another if we had the chance.

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF TYKI SUCCEEDED IN GETTING ME YOU BASTARD?!" I yell again and that comment causes him to freeze as I ram him into the wall punching him a few times across the face. He quickly regains composure and pushes me enough to land a kick into my chest sending me back. The both of us were about to go at one another again when suddenly I am held back and Kanda is held back by Lavi.

"That is enough you two!" I hear my master say and I can't help but struggle against him.

"You say I don't trust you Moyashi..." Kanda spats and find myself gritting my teeth and glarring at him temporarily pausing in fighting against my master. Kanda's head was down cast his hair shadowing his face. His fists were clenching more his arms shacking. "...I think it's you who doesn't trust me Allen." He spats finally looking up at me his eyes full of hate and I find myself going limp.

"Kanda..." Lavi warns but says nothing more.

"I'm done Allen! I can't take it anymore! You're not improving, you're only getting worst and keep pushing us all away! So fine be alone I don't care." He yells his eyes were shut and I feel my eyes widen. Cross finally releases me.

"KANDA!" Lavi finally yells and I see him twitch before looking at me. I don't understand what his expression reads at first as he stares at me and I realize that I have to be in shock. Soon his eyes widen in realization of what he just said. All I do at that moment is run grabbing my jacket. I don't look back even after hearing Lenalee scream my name followed by my masters yell for me to come back. I choke back a sob after hearing Kanda scream out in agony followed by a crash. I knew he destroyed something. I didn't care, I needed to get away, I needed to make myself vanish. I knew no one would come after me, they still believed I didn't have any way in harming myself. They didn't realize I had gone out this morning to buy that very thing. I reach my room slamming the door behind me hurriedly pulling the package of razors out before throwing the jacket onto the bed and immediately peeled my black long sleeved shirt off as I headed into the bathroom also slamming that door shut behind me. All that ran through my mind was that I had just lost Kanda. He left me and didn't want me anymore. I already knew that life without Kanda wasn't a life worth living in. My vision was blured from the tears that fell, but I knew what I was doing even if it was blindly. This time unlike so many other times I paused the moment I pressed the razor to my arm i hopes someone would come and stop me, but they never did and I cried more. So this time instead of width wise across my wrist I had the blade at the juncturs of where my elbo start and pressed the blade into my skin slicing down the lentgh of my arm before I collapsed onto my side watching as the blood quickly pooled around me. Tears still fell from my eyes. I felt the warm sticky substance on the cheek of my face and forming into my white hair. My vision was slowly beginning to become blurry.

"I'm sorry...Kanda...forgive me." I choke out and I pray that Lenalee for one is not the one who finds me. I smile sadly when I hear the door to my bedroom open and I knew I was soon going to be found. Everything was beginning to become dark and I wandered if this was truly going to be the end for me. I finally hear the door to my bathroom open slowly with a creak. I know the person is frozen in shock with how long it is silent.

"ALLEN!" I'm thankful that it's not Lenalee, but I still feel bad that it had to be Lavi who found me. He is at my side in an instant in my pool of blood and I feel something pressed against the wound and I can vaguely make it out as his shirt. I soon hear someone run in and I hear Lenalee's scream. My heart sinks at knowing she has to see this.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE GET ME AS MANY TOWELS AS YOU CAN SO I CAN APPLY PRESSURE THEN GO GET HELP!" He yells at her before beginning to mumble curses. Lenalee had runn off and quickly returned handing Lavi the towels before running off. Lavi wrapped the towels around my arm as tightly as he could to try and stop the bleeding as much as he could.

"You fucking idiot! You should have known Kanda didn't mean it! WHY DAMN IT?!" He yelled never leaving my side as we waited. Soon something was being tied around my arms to keep the towels in place before I was lifted off of the ground.

"Lavi go get cleaned up and meet Komui and I in the infirmary as quickly as you can, Kanda I hate to ask this but can you clean this room I'll send Asarina someone to help you. Lenalee go get Miranda and Jerry we're going to need them two." I hear cross barking out orders as he runs out with me.

"So...cold." I say my voice barely above a whisper, I could barely make out my masters face as everything was so fuzzy.

"Hold on Allen! Don't you dare pass out, we're going to fix this okay? DOn't you give up on me, I won't loose you!" He says to me in a panic and I feel myself smiling sadly.

"How? I'm already lost." I ask and I barely recognize my own voice with how I was sounding.

"Remember what Mana said! Keep walking don't stop! If you let go now you'll break that promise!" He shouts at me, I don't answer and only smile. I hear him shout my name as I finally let my world go black. Everything was black even in the dream world. I didn't see anything nor did I hear anything. I slowly began to wander if I was dead and this was just limbo and I was trapped. It felt like eternity that I was trapped and soon I began to hear the steady beeping sound. It was a slow sound. To some people it would annoy them but I found my self very relaxed with it.

"You have to pull through Allen. You have to pull through so I can apologize, so I can fix the promise I told you. I need you , you're my Moyashi. Please...I beg you." I hear Kanda's voice and I force my heavy eye lids open. Everything was so bright and it made everything blurry. I lie there blinking repeatedly as my vision slowly focused and I was able to look around. I was in my own infirmary room. These were used for those in serious condition. It's where the immediatly operate on the person and don't try to move them. They keep them in the same room they're brought into. I look onto my stomach where my arm was. It was heavily bandaged, all I could think was that I wasn't dead. Looking about the room I see everyone in chairs sleeping. Even Asarina and Narul were there, I knew she'd wake soon probably to go check up on Kalira, unless the nurse had taken over for a bit everyone waiting for me to wake up. That wouldn't surprise me. FInally looking to the side I see Kanda there his face burried into the bed at my side. His hair was still down and he still wore the clothes from when we fought. It made me wander how long I had been out. I felt my heart break as I heard him sobbing, that was something he never did and I hated seeing it. Lifting my injured arm up I reached over and gently brushed my shacky fingers through his hair. Before pulling back as he lifted his head up his eyes wide in shock.

"Mo...ya...shi?" He asks and I only smile hesitantly placing my hand onto his cheek using my thumb to wipe the tears that fell.

"I'm so sorry Kanda." I whisper, I didn't want to wake anyone else. I didn't want to be bombarded with questions quite yet. Kanda stands up and leans forward his forehead resting against my own as he reaches up with his own hands and cups my cheek.

"DOn't apologize Allen. This is my fault, I drove you to this and I am so sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you all the time. I'm sorry for what I said in the dojo! I didn't mean it. I need you in my life so much right now. Without you I have nothing to live for. Life isn't worth living without you in it." He said and I find myself choking on a sob.

"Funny...the moment I decided I was going to die...that was the very reason I decided to. My life isn't worth living without you in it Kanda. I need you to." I cry feeling the tears running down my face. "You make me so happy." I say wrapping my arms around him and I see Asarina leaving the room looking back at me with a small smile before slipping out. I knew she would be back to lecture me after checking up on Kalira.

"Allen?" Kanda pulls away and I look up to see Lenalee standing by the bed now her eyes wide and tears falling from them.

"Lenalee please don't cry...I'm okay now." I say and she is soon hugging me letting out sobs.

"You are SO fucking lucky that Miranda, Lavi and Jerry have your blood type! They helped us save you, you fucking idiot! Why did you do it? WHY!" She cried and I only hugged her.

"My wall came crashing down finally, but its okay now. I'm sorry for what you had to see, I'mm sorry for worrying you. I hope you can forgive me." I say looking up to see a narrowed look coming from my master. I looked away and I knew I was soon going to be left alone with him. Maybe I should have chose Komui as the one to talk to.

"Of course I'm going to forgive you! You woke up, if you didn't...then I never would have." She says standing back up with a sad smile before walking out. I coudln't blame her she needed her space.

"Alright everyone out...that includes you to Kanda." Cross finally says and I watch as he flinches at the thought of having to leave my side.

"It's alright Kanda I'm okay. You can come right back, kay?" I say and he sighs before shouting Cross a warning glare then left with everyone else who was also quite hesitant to leave. Once the door was clicked shut I sat myself up in the bed surprised that I was able to, I looked into my lap.

"I'm sorry master, I know you're probably the only one who won't forgive me." I say and I soon find my eyes widening as I felt arms encircle around me.

"Baka minarai! Do you know how scared I was. You died for three minutes. If it weren't for Kanda getting past and hitting you in the chest you would be dead right now! I know the way I raised you wasn't ideal, but you are very precious to me." He says and I feel tears falling from my eyes again.

"I'm sorry master...I'm so sorry!" I cry out and I cling onto him feeling like if I didn't my world would crash down. My wall had already did but I didn't need my wall to.

"Shh it's okay...Kanda, me and everyone else will always be here to protect you. Now get better so Kanda can show you how much he truly loves you." He explains before pulling away and walking out. I could only smile and that smile never leaves my face even when Kanda hurries back in and hugs onto me...after climbing into the bed with me forcing me to lie down next to him. I curl into his arms forcing myself to be as close to him as possible.

"I love you so much my baka moyashi." He says resting his head on top of mine.

"I love you to my Bakanda." I smile my eyes slipping close to fall asleep. I'm not visited by Tyki nor Road and I knew for sure that I hadn't take the pills but that was okay. My wall was down and I didn't feel like I needed to re-build it. The urge to cut may never go away and my mask will never be put up, but I knew now I will be able to at last heal. But I still had a forebodding feeling that something bad was going to occur very soon


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 its wonderful wonderful here

**Komui's pov:**

It has been two days since Allen, and Asarina had returned to the order with everyone else. Two days since Allens' suicide attempt. The mission was a success. Kalira was a not a dragon like we all thought but Asarina's biological daughter. Allen was doing better with talking to everyone and that included Kanda as well. Despite the damages Asarina had caused, Allen chosen to talk to talk to her about things. That is was when it hit me. Was that passionate afternoon due to the turmoil deep inside her? I have been keeping my distance from her whenever I did see her. She looked happy and Kalira never left her side. I guess she was afraid of someone taking her again. A mother will go to any length to protect her child. I do know Lenalee and Lavi will be made at me; I blew up all the condoms I found in his room and taped them to his walls. I could only laugh at the thought of their faces but now I had to get work. It is wonderful here for the moment. Every time we get peace, it does not last. Something always happen.

My thoughts were broken as Cross came in.

"General, what brings you here?" I ask fixing my glasses and looking at him. My desk was covered in papers once again like always.

"I'm a littled worried. As you know Asarina is the Night Tracker and Im sure you know about the inccident with Kanda." Cross replys sitting on the couch.

"Yes I know both pieces of information. Im not worried. Kanda is a capable person and Asarina was trained to kill. Besides Kanda knows if he hurts her. We will have to figure out who will take of Kalira." I say grabbing my cup of coffee.

"I also want to know what happened between you and Asarina?" Was his next question.

"She came to talk and got emotional. Then she left." I say to Cross. Not knowing what he would do if i told him we had sex on the couch he was sitting on.

"She may seem strong but when she feels that her world is falling part, she becomes confused and emotional. Plus she tends to do random things that would drive any man wild" Cross states and heads toward the door. "One final word before I leave, Kalira is _my_ daughter." With that he is gone.

How could this happen and why to did it have to be this way. The one I loved had sex with Cross and gave birth to his child. Now I'm in deep shit. I had sex with Cross's woman and if he finds out. Will I be dead? If I die at least I had a wonderful time with my heart's desire.

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**Asarina POV:**

Two days have passed and my world has been restored. I have my beautiful daughter back and she is thankfully unharmed. It was a painful month and long one at that. Narul was staying out of trouble for the most part and my entire focus was on Kalira. After her exam in the medical wing, I have not let her out of my sight. Everywhere I went, she went and everyone knew that. Allen had started coming to talk to me a lot more than anyone else. It did not bother me but it did make me realize I could be myself around everyone. The night tracker, my other self and my profession; it was who I was and who I will be.

I don't know why my thoughts always went to that day whenever I was alone and Kalira sleeping. Did he really mean what he said? I could tell he was not happy with me at all. I don't know why I even care about this. It not like it will last at all, but in any case it would have been nice. Suddenly there was knocking at my door.

"Who is it?" I ask and pick up Kalira. The door opens and I see General Cross standing there looking at me. I always found it funny how he looks at me when I'm holding my little girl. "What can I do for you General?"

"Well it is dinner time. Care to join the rest of us?" He asks me with a smile. I know he only wants to be next to Kalira. He loves her dearly.

"Of course, I was actually on my way there. Care to escort me?" I ask him playfully and laugh as I extend my arm to him.

"Of course, I will escort you." He says taking my arm and walking me down to cafeteria. Cross is the one person that Narul can trust with me. I guess it is the age thing or maybe the fact that he took more of an interest in Kalira than me. In any case, I was happy to be back, but in a way I was sad.

"So, what did that idiot chief do to make you upset?" Cross asks on the way down and I can tell that he is worried about me. "Think before you say it."

"It was just something about Narul and I got emotional." I say and I knew I had lied to him but it was my business and not his.

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure." Cross says and then we fall silent as we head to our destination.

Along the way we find Narul and as always he is hungry. When we arrive, the place is very busy and the line is not that long. I can only feel sorry of the chef for the hungry beast ordered 50 steaks, four whole hams, and a big soup pot filled with cherry ice cream. The chef only laughs and makes everything for him. I just order chicken and pork stir fry with rice and my tea. Cross orders chicken and shrimp curry and some type of French red wine. Cross carries my tray for me because I have Kalira in my arms. We sit down next to each other at a table with Kanda, Allen, Lenalee, Lavi and Komui.

"Why so glum, chief?" Kanda asks and then I notice Komui's face as well.

"It's nothing." He says and puts a piece of sausage in his mouth.

"Bullshit." Allen calls out and now Lenalee is giving her brother the death stare.

"Just say it." Lenalee yells, "Tell me now or I will kiss Lavi in front of you."

"Kalira is the love child of Cross and Asarina." He says and looks sadly at Cross.

It was then the silence was broken by the sound of Narul laughing hysterically. We all see him fall off the table and on to the floor still laughing. Everyone now is looking at Cross and myself. "Cross is not the father." I say angrily. I get up and leave in a foul mood.

Eventually Narul fly out and lands on my shoulder, still laughing. Why would Cross do that? I can only giggle at Komui's face, but the memory of her father makes me sad. In a sense it was wonderful here at the Black Order but I could not wait to leave and yet I did not want to.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20- Hex me

I was sitting in my office drinking coffee and wondering where the letter I had received from command central had gone to. I was not happy with what the letter had said, and I did not want to enforce it at all. Somehow word head reached my superiors that Asarina was the assassin know as Night Tracker, to that extent my orders were to keep her in the European branch of the black order until further notice. That was just going to be easy for the moment. Asarina was comfortable here and for the time she feels it is a safe place for her daughter. That was another matter in that blasted letter; they also feel that she might be working secretly for the enemy; I found that part rather a bunch of bullshit. I already had enough on my plate with dealing with my superiors, being chief of the European branch, dealing with a fire breathing monster, and my feelings toward the woman I loved.

"Komui," a voice said as my office door opened and I look up to find General Cross standing there "Am I bothering you?" he finished saying as he closed the door and walked over to my desk.

"Not at all, what's on your mind general?" My full attention is now on whatever he wants to say, after yesterday with his little joke, I knew I had to be prepared for anything.

"You really should start locking your office door. Narul found a letter and took it to me. He did not understand some words, so I took it and read it to myself." Cross said pulling out the letter, "He got mad when I told him that snooping around offices was not nice and that I was giving this back to you." He held out his hand I took the letter.

"Thank you, General Cross." I say knowing full well I should have known that pesky dragon had taken it. "I think I'll go pack now." I say getting up and walking to the door.

"That's right; you have that meeting and what not in Italy." He says smiling, "Don't worry I think this is what you need. Time to get your head straight and relax a little bit and maybe being away from Asarina would do you some good."

"I'm giving her space and time to adjust. She has a child here now who can't walk or talk." I say calmly but inside I know he is right, I do need time away from the order. Maybe she will finally be able to tell that time we had meant nothing to her but to me there would always be something even if I had to hide away forever.

"She is a very strong woman and capable of handling herself or anything thrown at her, but sometimes I worry about her. Some of the decisions she makes are gambles, and I wonder what does she hide behind that smile of hers but then again piss her off and you might regret it." Cross said getting up and leaving out the door and then only to see Lavi entered, could my day get any worse.

"So, I have a question?" Lavi said walking up to my desk, "Who did you fuck in your office?"

"Nothing like that happened, Lavi." I say as calmly as I could. I did not want anyone, especially Lavi, finding out I had sex with Asarina in my office.

"Was Janet, Sophie, Nicki, Alexis, or was it Dana? Just tell me please." Lavi said eagerly but I knew that he would not give up on the subject until he found who I had sex with. "Was it Jen, or was it Casandra?"

"Lavi, does my sister know everyone you have slept with?" I say giving him the death stare, "I have a list of women who claim to have slept with you. So, leave my office now, drop the subject, and Lenalee won't see the list.

In a flash Lavi was out of my office, and I was happy that he was gone. I close my eyes and take a deep breath stunned that he believes my bluff. I left my office, and went to pack for my trip. I was sure things were going to be nice on the trip but I did not want to be at this meeting at all. Once I go t to my room, I looked around and found my suitcase and began to decide what I should pack. I start by packing my suitcase with my spare uniform, some pajamas, and the major necessities: one thing being my instant coffee, my picture of Lenalee and then I find myself putting the picture of Asarina in there as well. I close the suitcase and hear a voice. "Where are you going?" I turn around to see Asarina standing in my door way, holding Kalira in her arms.

"I have an important meeting in Italy to attend, although I would rather not go." I tell her and notice that she is smiling. "Is there something you needed?" I ask, and I'm hopeful that the answer is me.

"I don't need anything right now but I did want talk about what Cross said." She said and her tone of voice changed and her eyes were on her little angel. "Her dad died before she was born. He was killed in an akuma attack."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Did he even know that you were carrying a child?" I asked moving toward the door and looked at how much Kalira looked like her mother

"No, by the time I found out I was with child, he had already been killed." She looks almost as if she might cry, but I put my hand on her shoulder. "There is one more thing I wanted to talk about. I'm sorry that Narul is a pain to you and that he gets on everyone's nerves but this is the first place that he does not have to hide all the time."

"He is okay; we all have to adjust to him. He is very intelligent and different." I say trying to forget that he had burned my ass about four times now, and tried to eat me once. "He is also fun to have around. Did you know he is the first person who Kanda has not threatened?"

"That is funny to think about." It was we both noticed Kalira was moving around in the blanket and started to cry. "Well, I need to get back to my room and feed her. I'll see you when you get back" she says and kisses my cheek before she leaves. I could only smile as I closed the door, maybe there is hope for the two of us to be together and Cross apparently likes to joke about things. Only time will tell at this point but I would have to put up with Narul if I wanted to be with her. Maybe someday the dragon and I would come to terms but right now it was war with him. I finished packing and headed to my destination.


	21. Chapter 21

**Well here we go a little comedy from the seriousness! This should be fun! Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 21- told her**

It had been a few days since Komui had left for his trip to Italy, and he was now due back any moment, I was not happy about this. Then again I had learned a lot over the past few days myself. I was having fun flying and I always had a knack for getting into trouble, finding secrets, causing trouble and getting out of trouble. I loved being a dragon and I don't think I would ever want to be a human child. In any case, I was thinking about what happened over these past four days and how I managed to get myself in a huge mess of trouble.

If my memory is correct as I think to myself. The day that I found Kanda's and Allen's secrets were was on Tuesday because today is Friday and that dumb ass Komui left on Monday. I was flying high in sun filled sky and doing what I loved to do best, destroy clouds. That was when I looked around and thought it was my best samurai buddy, Kanda, slip quietly into the forest. What is he doing in the forest and without Allen? I asked myself, and so I nosed dived down ward into the forest. Upon entering the forest, I landed on a tree branch and started to sniff the air. If it was Kanda I saw then I should be able to follow his scent and find him. I waited for the wind to blow, then a leaf blew passed me and I found the familiar sent of Kanda. I knew he was now north of me, then I leaped off the branch and followed the trail.

As I got close and saw him. "Kanda, why are you out here." I ask as I land on the log, "and why are you naked?" By that time Kanda was just staring at me with his hands covering his private part. I just sat there waiting for his response.

"I'm training in the nude to be closer with nature. It's a meditation thing I find relaxing." Was his response with a nervous but calming tone of voice. "Why don't you go back to the order and please don't tell anyone about this. You are my little buddy and later we can go into town for some chocolate ice cream."

"With Allen?" I ask and jump around on the log. "Allen has to come with us."

"Okay, my little buddy. We will drag Allen with us and if he does not want to come..." He starts to say and then looks at me.

"I throw a tantrum and cry. Then he will agree to go." I say as we both laugh and I start to take to the sky. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you are here." Then I disappear and head back for home. Along the way I destroy a few small clouds and then do loops in a giant one. My life was full of fun. Then I see the tall tower, my new temporary home and place of fun. I notice that Allen's window is open and I fly into his room. I notice him smile as I land on his bed.

"What brings you here, Narul? You staying out of trouble?" he asks and pets the top of my head. I notice he has a bunch of books out. I start to walk around the strange books.

"I'm okay, just noticed an open window and came in." I reply still wondering what the books were. "What are these books doing out Allen?" I look up and ask him.

"Those are not books. They are photo albums, to hold pictures." He tells me laughing. "Go ahead and look, pictures are another means to tell your life story."

I decide to open one of them, and I choose the one with the bright blue cover. "Why is Kanda naked in this picture?" I scream and quickly close the scary picture story book.

"It's a secret, so you can't tell. In the mornings, Kanda sometimes goes out in the woods and trains naked. I like to take pictures while he does this, and he has no clue I do it" Allen says while he is blushing.

"Well Kanda is out there right now in the forest naked. I found him and he told me not to tell anyone but since you know his secret. I don't see any harm to tell you." I say and in the moment Allen gets his shoes on and grabs his camera.

"Thanks." He says and then I'm left alone. So I decide to leave and go take a nap, knowing full well that I have two secrets now, one of Kanda and one of Allen. After I took my nap I really did nothing but Wednesday was the day I found some exciting dirt on Lavi.

It was almost Lunch time on Wednesday, I was on my way there to order ten plates of steaks with each plate have twenty steaks on it, six hundred slices of bacon and three hundred dangos. I pass Lavi's room and I decided to bug him, for I wanted to play ball after I ate lunch. I sneak into his room and notice that he is not anywhere but the bathroom light is on and the door is cracked a bit, I can hear funny and strange noises coming from that direction, I was now curious. I sneak into the bathroom only to see Lavi with his pants down and caressing his private part. I then fly up to sit on his shoulder only to see his laptop screen with a naked girl and boy, I notice that the boy was laying down and the girl was on top, moving up and down on his private part, His private part entered hers. I did not comprehend what was going on all. "Lavi what are you watching?" I finally ask and he looks at me.

"This is porn my winged friend." He says smiling and then it vanishes in a split second and he then closes the screen and pulls up his pants. "Okay, we need to talk."

"I think porn is gross." I say smiling.

"Yes, and you should not mention it to anyone, especially to Lenalee." He says as we leave his room. "She would kill me if she found out."

"Okay, so I won't tell her if you play ball with me after lunch every day for a month." I say as I fly off his shoulder."

"You have a deal my buddy." Lavi say smiling and giving me a thumb up.

We then arrive at the cafeteria and order our food. By the time I finish, I felt ready for a nap and tell Lavi we will start tomorrow with playing ball cause of the bet you lost. I go to my mom's room and curl up with my little sister who is also sleeping on the bed with mommy. The rest of the day was unfair, due to the huge rain cloud that came, but the idea of porn came back to my head. I wondered why anyone would want to watch something like that, but I just pushed it out of my mind and thought about tearing apart a certain office.

Thursday was even better for I went hunting that day. I woke up and went to hunt for squirrels in the forest, I pass Kanda who was naked with nature and saw Allen hiding in a bush with his camera. I only caught ten fat squirrels and was carrying them by the tails, on my way home. I decided to look at Lenalee's window to see if it was open, and it was. My favorite place to eat my catch was her floor, and I do it because it grosses her out for some reason. Sure enough her window is open, and I dive into her room. I look around, she is nowhere in sight, but I can hear in the bathroom, by the sounds of it she was looking for something. I decide to start eating the squirrels before she came out. I had only eating three when she came out and looked at me with evil eyes.

"Must you always eat those in my room?" She asks with a fake smile and I can't help but smile back her, this of course makes her laugh.

"Hey, do you know where my ball is?" I ask while she goes and pulls out a bottle of perfume from a drawer. "Lavi has to play ball with me, starting today for one month." I could only smirk at how I got him to agree to that.

"Why for one month? I always tell him and everyone in the order to not bet with you" She said shaking her head. "What was the bet?"

"To not mess Komui's office for two days, which was Monday and Tuesday, and I won." I saying knowing full well I was lying to her.

"Well, I'm about to get a shower. You can look for it and if you don't find it. I guess we will have to replace it." She says with that smile of her and then disappears in the bathroom.

While she was in the shower, I decided that the squirrels can wait and began my search for a red ball. First I looked in her clothes hamper and found nothing but clothes with Lavi's smell on them. I love the fact that they care about each other so much. Next place I look is in her vanity where she pulled the perfume from. Instead of a ball, I find a book that read stay out. Smirking and looking around I open to a random page. It was dated before my arrival in the order WAY before my arrival maybe a few years ago, as I read it mentions Allen and her drinking. Those two were really best friends and they never really stayed mad at each other. As I read more, it talked about how Allen and her had drunk sex. Sex, what is this sex thing? I push it out of my mind and continued reading on how the next morning Allen told her he was gay and to never speak of this again, because he would die if his crush Kanda found out. I guess this was also before the two of them got together. I close the book and go to the closest to find my ball. I hear the door open and Lenalee comes out in a pink dress.

"Narul, did you find it?" she says and begins to help me look for the ball.

"Why are you wearing the dress?" I ask as we search for the ball.

"Lavi is taking me out for lunch in the city today. Since my brother is out town, we don't have to worry about him sending any robots out after us." She says smiling and then she pulls something out from behind a box. "Found your ball." I take it from her and then go over to my squirrels.

"Be sure to tell Lavi that he better play ball or I will burn him." I tell as I gather up my squirrels by their tails, she is still smiling. "Bye, have fun on your date." I say and then put the ball in my mouth and leave to the sky. That day ended with Lavi, Lenalee and I playing ball. It was the best day ever for little did I know what would happen tomorrow or today since it is Friday now.

Friday morning was not fun, I slept in and missed breakfast. That was okay for I wanted to go hunt today any way. I ended up catching five squirrels, three doves, and four deer, trust me it was all good and delicious. Then I flew back to find someone to play ball with but found no luck cause everyone left me; Cross took Miranda on a date, Allen and Kanda went hiking, and Lenalee and Lavi were doing something called skinny dipping in the lake.

I was flying around trying to find something to do when I noticed Reever enter Komui's office with a stack of paper work. When he returned the stack of papers were no longer with him and he forgot to close the door all the way. I just had to get back at them for leaving me, so into the office I flew and took the stack of papers. My next step was to hide and I did, in a utility closet. Once I got settled in, and down, I began to eat the stack of papers. I ate about ten before I took a nap.

I don't know how I long I slept but once awake, I started back up again. I only know how to count up to thirty and as I ate I heard voices all the time. I never really paid attention but once I heard Lenalee's voice I decided to listen.

"Lavi, I can't believe that paper work has disappeared and no one can find." Her voice was sad. "It was the information about the meeting my brother is at."

"Well, it could not have gotten up and flown away." A voice said jokingly, but that is exactly what happened and was nodding with him from behind the door. That is when the door opened and a large hand grabbed me. I was being held by my tail and chewing paper, I was giving General Cross the angry eyes of death and I swallow the paper in my mouth. "So, I was right about you getting involved in this."

"So what, you all left me alone." I say and now I am trying to figure a way out of this mess.

"This is the missing paper work." Lavi says looking at what was left of it. "Apparently he ate sixty five pages, and that's more than half the stack."

"Put me down." I scream as loud as I can. That only brings Allen and Kanda over to see what the matter was. While Lavi explained what was going on to them I came up with my escape.

"Narul, you are in very big trouble." Cross says and his eyes tell me that if I did not get away, I was going to my mother.

"Lenalee got drunk one night with Allen and had sex with him because I read it in her diary and not to mention Cross might have a child with some girl in India." I scream as loud as I could.

The next thing I know is everyone starts yelling at Lenalee and cross, which is what I was hoping for. While they yelled I was swinging back and forth, once I reached a good distance I swing hard and bite Cross's hand which causes him to let go of my tail. I then take off down the hall and notice that they all are chasing me, I see dark spot in the ceiling and shot up ward. They still chase the now empty hall and with that I turn around and go back to my room. Once inside I lock the door and sigh. "Narul, you better not have gotten into trouble." I hear my mom yell from inside that bathroom. I notice that Kalira is not in her crib which means mom is giving her a bath.

"Where did he go?" I hear Kanda say down the hall from where I was hiding.

"Maybe, he is already with Asarina." I can tell Cross is angry by the tone he uses.

"Mom, if anyone comes looking for me, I did not do anything wrong." I say and then dart out the window. I fly to the tippy top of the flag pole on the tower. I know I'm safe for now but then I hear my mom scream for me and I know I'm in trouble.

Looking back on everything it makes sense as to why I'm now locked in a metal cage in my room, and very bored at that. Well it is almost three and I'm hungry. Well I could always try to melt the bars, and if start now I might be out by dinner.


	22. Chapter 22

**Guest Reviewer- Well you see we do have a plan for the three OC's in the story. A twist is coming up in a later a chapter. Also in the sequel and third add on is going to involve Kalira and my OC more. You will have to read and find out as we add more. Reason being behind Cross not being the pairing is because he views Asarina as a daughter and Kalira as a grand-daughter (we will be going more into this later on as well). I don't want to explain too much because it will give things away. I am happy you like the story line please keep reading your questions will be revealed.**

**OH! Listen to the song BE by Song Riders up until Allen enters the dream world. Then you can listen to whatever ^_^.**

**I also wish to apologize for the long wait. Sharva and I have gotten quite busy with work. Also I am going through a really bad rough patch and I am making sure that the chapters/parts of the chapter that I write is not forced. I have to say relationships and family suck a lot if that's any indication as to whats going on LOL. But here is 22, 23-25 shall be out momentarily, hope you enjoy. And don't forget to review.**

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Chapter 22- I Dreamt

We were all sitting at dinner and slowly things were somewhat back to normal. I sat next to Kanda with my head on his shoulder after Narul and my eating contest. I made it look like I was still matching up with the young fireball. In reality though whenever someone looked I'd take a bite but wouldn't eat if they weren't looking, so by the end of dinner I had only eaten a fourth of what a normal person would eat. I just haven't been in an eating mood as of late, I'd only eat enough for satisfaction in others eyes but it actually wasn't even close to what I needed to survive. Kanda had his arm around my waist and snuggled my nose into his neck making a purring noise which sent a shudder through him and he gave my waist a warning squeeze before chuckling. I chuckled back, in the back of my mind I was happy that I decided on wearing my large hooded jacket so that my mother hen of a boyfriend wouldn't be able to tell I had lost weight.

"So are you guys ready for the mission tomorrow?" Lenalee asked, reminding Kanda, Cross and I of the innocence retrieval mission tomorrow. I could only groan as I swung my legs across Kanda's trying to get as close to him as possible. This resulted in some of everyone laughing.

"Physically we are ready but by the looks of it only one person is not mentally ready for it." Cross smirked and I found myself chunking Kanda's empty tea glass at my masters head who easily dodged it, the cup connecting with Komui's face who had been standing up to leave with Reever. This resulted in everyone busting out in laughter as well. I watch Asarina as she had giggled a bit herself eating her own food while holding Kalira in her free arm.

"I take it that's the que that Allen is grouchy and needs his sleep." Kanda said trying to hide the laughter in his voice as he stood up easily hoisting me up in his arms and I only growled.

"I am NOT grouchy Kanda." I said and he only rolled his eyes before walking off and I laid my head onto his shoulder. I felt Kanda rubbing circles with his thumb on my shoulder as he walked slowly.

"Are you eating okay Allen? You seem lighter." He asked and I kept my eyes closed so I could hide the panic.

"Yea, remember I picked up sparring again with you. So of course I'm going to be loosing weight even with all the food I eat…..Wait is this your way of saying that I used to be fat?!" I asked and he began to laugh again turning his head and kissing my forehead.

"Baka Moyashi, that's not it at all. I worry about you I just like reassuring myself that you're okay." He said softly before lowering his lips onto mine. He had stopped walking, I reached my arms up and wrapped them around his neck as I kissed him back. We soon part and he is just resting his forehead on mine. I hated hiding things from him but I still didn't know how to go to him for help, I didn't know how to go to anyone for help. I knew this was one of the reasons why Kanda worries. Sliding one of my arms done I cup his cheek with my hand leaving light kisses on his lips trying to reassure him that I was okay, even though I knew myself that I wasn't okay. Soon he lifts his head and finishes the way towards the room setting me down onto my feet. I stood looking around the hallway noticing how empty it was before following Kanda into the room my mind not all completely there.

The moment I had shut and locked the door behind me I find myself suddenly pinned against the door lips crushed against my own as fingers run up under my shirt leaving feather like touches up my skin making my skin crawl from the pleasure. I let out a moan when his fingers brush over the hardening bud of my nipple. I lift my arms up on of my hands taking a hold of his hair tie pulling it loose before tangling my fingers into his hair as his hands moved back down my stomach before sliding around my waist to my back slipping into my pants. I let out a gasp when Kanda squeezes each of my ass cheeks lifting me up keeping me pressed against the door. I wrap my legs around his waist and pressed myself against him as much as possible. More moans escape my mouth when he begins to kiss down my neck pulling me off from the door and walked to the bed flopping us both onto it. His mouth never missed a beat.

"K-Kanda!" I moan out running my hands down the front of his navy blue muscle shirt feeling the indentions of his muscles wanting nothing but to feel his bare skin under my fingertips. I feel my pants and boxers quickly removed followed by my shirt. I don't get to enjoy much as Kanda quickly discards of his own shirt and I give him a pout.

"We're sure in a hurry." I say feeling the smirk in my voice as I stare into his hungry filled eyes.

"Who says this is going to be quick. Allen we haven't been allowed to do anything since a certain something happened." He said quietly running his fingers softly over my elongated scar giving me apologetic look with his sad eyes. Reaching up I lift my body from the bed. My fingers danced over the skin of his cheek pushing into his hair as I connected my lips softly to his own. Kanda kissed me back his hands traveling down my chest as my free hand began fussing with his belt and pant buttons.

"Well aren't we eager Moyashi." He whispers with a smile on her face as he pulled from the kiss and I only growl playfully him.

"I want you Kanda, you and only you right now in me." I beg kissing down his neck. I whimper when I am pushed back onto my back on the bed watching him stand from the bed to remove his pants before he his atop of me again his lips upon my once more. I moan again when I feel his knees press against me in between my legs and I squirm under him. His body begins to move against mine our erections rubbing against one another both of us letting out moans of pleasure.

"Please Kanda…I need you…" I whimper as he began to kiss down my neck and down my chest moving over to one of my nipples nipping it lightly with his teeth before his tongue swirled around it. I gasp my hands taking a fistful of the sheets squirming a bit more. His hands ran over my stomach and waist his nails slightly grazing over my skin. I'm letting out heavy breaths as his mouth moves over to the other nipple and I gasp even more my body pressing against his begging for him to take me.

"A little more patience Moyashi." He moans purposely his deep voice driving me insane as he kisses down my abdomen and stomach until his face is hovering over my erection. I let out a gasp and shudder when he breaths a hot breath over the skin before his head dips down and I feel his hot tongue lick up my entire length.

"KAN-da!" I breath out my hips slightly bucking begging him for more. His mouth soon wraps around me and I feel the vibration of his mouth as he purposely hums. I throw my head back letting out a loud scream like moan begging for more. I feel my toes curl and my body going stiff from Kanda holding me down as his bobs as he sucked on me hard his teeth gently rubbing against my sensitive skin his tongue licking across my tip.

"Oh god please Kanda!" I cry out as his movements slow down a fraction as he begins to pleasurably torture me. My eyes widen and I am unable to squirm my hips when I feel a finger of his at my entrance. I let out another moan my eye half lidded from pleasure when he slips the finger to inside of me. His finger slowly moves out of me before pushing back in making swirling motions before he begins moving his finger around. I start to wander why but then I let out anther cry when a strong sensation courses through me. I know this pleases Kanda and I feel him add a second finger into me moving them in and out of me in rhythm with his bobbing head, each time he would hit that certain spot and each time I would be sent through a crazed pleasured spasm.

"Kan-DA!" I scream out as I feel my release into him, my heart is pounding hard in my chest and I let out another cry when his own hard member pushes into me hitting against that spot. My eyes widen and I can't help the scream that tore from my throat, it felt so good, it is something I've never felt before. He begins to move in and out of me each time hitting that spot. Leaning over his mouth captures mine and I eagerly kiss back wrapping my arms around his shoulders my legs wrapping around his own as his arms wrap around my waist as he pounded into me. I am lost in this ecstasy and I pull from the kiss burying my face into the crook of his neck whimpers and moans and cries of pleasure coming from my mouth as the two of us rocked together.

"Scream my name Allen, I want to hear you scream it." He says lustfully into my ear making his thrusts harder as I feel his erection pulsing inside of me and I can't help but tense up causing me to tense up around him.

"FUCK….Moyashi." He hissed in my ear speeding up.

"YU~!" I scream out as he releases inside of me and he collapses onto me slowly pulling out of me before turning to his side pulling me into his chest. I can't help as sleep takes over me. Now I see why Kanda had me take my pills before dinner, there would have been no way either of us would be able to move.

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_I'm at first surprised to not find myself within Kanda's dream as I walk around the area I notice is the library. I begin to wander whose dream this is and I can't help but become curious when I hear sounds coming from a dark area. Following the noises I use the bookshelves to keep hidden as I peer around the corner and I paled. Bent over a library table is Lenalee with Lavi behind her and you can bet at the moment what the two of them were doing. It made me wander now whose dream did this belong to?! Lenalee? Of Lavi?! I immediately run from the scene closing my eyes jumping from the said dream feeling the something whip around me as I descend down into another dream. _

_I know exactly whose dream I enter with the site of all the women about the room. I can't help but sigh as I move forward and my eyes widen. In the center of the room sits Cross a bottle of wine in one hand another arm wrapped around some woman's' shoulders and I feel my eyes widen when I spot Lenalee behind him giving his shoulders a massage wearing a bunny suit. Oh I bet Komui would LOVE to send a Kom-Bot after this man if he knew about this. I ran from the room trying to get away even when I heard my Shishou say my name questioningly._

_After leaving my master's dream, feeling rather strange about how he had Lenalee in that bunny outfit along with a lot of other naked women, I somehow ended up in an unfamiliar place. It was like when people would switch between their dreams. This was the feeling I feel a lot when I've jumped between others' dreams. I begin to slowly spin around looking for any indication of who's it was, I even called out just to be safe. When there was no reply I sighed and rested my hand onto the black water and I will it to change it watching as it formed into that field. Sighing I slowly calm down at least now things will be normal now back in my own mind. I never knew how wrong I was until it suddenly changed and I was blinking staring at the golden traditional Chinese room. I can only gulp this cannot be good. I slowly stand to my feet and slowly turn around to see Asarina standing there in a large red with gold designed kimono leaning against one of the pillars. I gulp again seeing that she wasn't too happy about me being there, or possibly for other reasons._

"_What…are you doing here?" She finally asked straightening up her stance arms crossed._

"_This is __**your dream**__ so how should I know?" I say and I watch as she only smirks pushing her hands through her hair which reached down to her knees._

"_Yea, you're right. I wander why I'd dream you up though." She said her words almost dancing around playfully as she walked closer to me. Everything in me screamed danger and I couldn't help but wander why._

"_Yea I wander why to." I laugh nervously and suddenly it hits me, no literally! I am hit and not by a it but by a she, Asarina to be more exact. I am sent flying to the ground onto my back my hand shooting to my face sitting up I give her a shocked expression._

"_THE HELL WAS THAT FOR DAMN IT?!" I yell at her and she only smirks suddenly a wooden kendo stick in her hands and my eyes only widen in fear of what she was going to do._

"_Oh…I don't maybe the fact that…You tried to kill yourself and almost succeeded!" She snaps hurriedly walking over and the top of my head is suddenly in pain from her smacking me atop the head. No it didn't stop there either. She repeatedly hit me until the kendo stick was broken and it tossed to the side. I honestly couldn't blame her for it._

"_You're an idiot you know that Allen?! You should hate me or at least be angry at me for that day, but no…You turned it around and pointed your anger at Kanda!" She screams at me looking up her eyes full of anger and sadness._

"_Because once I knew what you were doing was to get your daughter back….I couldn't blame you, I can't hate you. Yea I was upset with everyone but…I can't blame anyone. Even now I can't blame Kanda anymore either. He was only trying to think up the best thing to not only help you but also keep me safe by putting me directly into danger." I explain, I couldn't say my face stung again from the slap because it did and I only sat there blinking._

"_Baka…baka,,,baka…" She began to repeatedly say and I just sat there starring at her and I could tell tears were threatening to fall._

"_You were afraid that if something went wrong I'd be taken and you wouldn't have gotten me back in those four days you had?" I asked and she only nods._

"_Why must you be so observant?" She asks and I only smile._

"_Because I had to be since my observing skills were the only thing that kept people from seeing the scars." I smile and she only shakes her head and soon I am suddenly pushed from her mind._

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I sit up quickly holding my cheek which hurt like shit and soon I was laughing doubled over into the covers. My entire body ached but I couldn't stop the laughter and soon I feel Kanda shift and sit up and probably was just staring at me.

"Sorry, sorry! I accidentally walked into Asarina's dream." I smile sitting up and I watch as his eyes widen and just stare.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU MOYASHI?!" He screams grabbing my shoulders.

"Oh, she only kicked my ass for my suicide attempt. And if you try to start any shit I will not talk to you for an entire month." I said with a smile on my face and he only sighs before wrapping his arms around me and bringing me back down to lie on the bed. Yup, things were defiantly getting interesting.

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**Short and sweet I know but I am busy cleaning and doing Laundry and I TRIED not to rush this but…EH well I hop everyone will like the next chapter because it will be having some Noah Family goodness ^_^.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well here are onto the next story and I love all of you reviewers! You guys are the greatest! Thank you for being so patient with us. Things should be getting onto a roll now that we have a bit more free time once again.**

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Chapter Twenty Three- A Devil That Knew Her

_**Roads' POV**_

I couldn't help the giggles that kept erupting from my mouth as I watch Tyki glare deadly at Jasdevi who only but continued to tease him. It had only been a month since that day we almost managed to get our hands on precious little Allen. But, we failed never once seeing the plan that women Asarina had cooked up. So here we were sitting at the dinner table waiting for our Lord Millennium to arrive. I let out another giggle when Jasdevi once again made a remark about Tyki failing at getting his little pet.

"Oh come now Tyki we'll have other chances." I smile and I to earn a glare from him, I could only give him a playful smirk. I dare him to yell at me.

"Ho, ho what is all this commotion about?" Our Lord asked appearing into the room almost skipping as he took a seat at the head of the table.

"Oh nothing Tyki is still upset about not getting his pet." I explain smiling.

"Still? But it's been a month." The Earl said in his sing song voice, Tyki only replied with a displeased noise.

"He's upset because he was outwitted by a woman he stole a baby from." Jasdevi laughed barely dodging a card aimed for each of their heads.

"Oh I miss that baby girl so much! She was just positively adorable!" I exclaimed happily bouncing in my chair clapping my hands together.

"I hope that bitch gets it when that child grows up. I hope she is put through hell! But I swear I get back at that Night Tracker!" Tyki growled leaning back in his chair.

"Night Tracker you say?" The Earl suddenly asks and I find my smile vanishing at the tone of voice he uses.

"Lord Millenie?" I ask also sitting back in my chair watching as Jasdevi laid their arms on the table to look to him.

"Yes that is her title I guess…Damn it what was that bitch's name!" Tyki growled resting his fingertips against his forehead before snapping his fingers.

"Her name was Asarina!" Tyki said and both him and I jump back in our chairs when suddenly the table was in the air spinning before crashing down.

"That woman had a baby?! Not only that you fought her and lived?! Oh this is great news…great news indeed!" He began to laugh crazily.

"L…Lord…Mi…Mi….Millenie?!" I stutter too afraid of what he was planning, too afraid to know how he knew Asarina.

"Tyki, Road the both of you will be coming with me this instant. You two will be telling me everything." The smile on his face sent fear coursing through me and I could tell from looking at Tyki that he feared the crazed man as well. I am intrigued though, what does he now have planned?

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**This will by far be our shortest chapter in the entire story. This is just a foreshadowing filler chapter. I hope you enjoyed it ^_^.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well this chapter and chapter 25 are the two main chapters Sharva and I have been DYING to get done! Well here it is!**

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Chapter Twenty Four- Pale White Skin

"I still dont understand why I have to this." I say angrily as I pack for the trip that lies ahead, even though it was just a few hours away. "I just got Kalira back about a month ago and they expect me to leave?!"

"I know but I dont want to go either." Complained Narul as he helped me pack my tracking gear, "Do you want the venom blow gun?" I look up to see him holding it and smiling.

"Might as well." I say taking the blow gun from him and packing it away, "At least Lenalee and Lavi offered to take care of Kalira, I would rather bring her along but Tyki is out there, with his sick twisted mind."

"Lenalee told me that Miranda is also going to help." He said happily and picks up my tracker darts. "This is going to be fun."

"I wish it was just Cross and myself, I dont mind Allen going but why does Kanda have to come?" I say taking the darts and pkacing them in my pocket. "Do you know were my bottle of vex34 is?"

"Why do you want that?" He asks going to the closet and then quickly coming back with the bottle in his claws, "Do you think you will be killing someone?

"No, my emotions are out of whack. Im worried about being separated from Kalira and don't want to panic." I reply as he places the bottle in my hand. Vex34, a drug that blocks emotions and widely used amongst assassins. "It is just incase." Then I place it in my pouch.

"Everything will be fine." He says, "I'm just sorry I can't fly all of us there but I'm just so full from eating and I'm still sleepy."

I smile as I pick up my little fireball, "Maybe next time you should not have an eating contest with Allen." I tell him with a serious look. He only smiles, then crawls up and hides in my hair, while I grab my things. I look at my daughter, only to find her eyes opened and smiling. I pick her up and hold her close to me. "You behave yourself, Lenalee and Miranda will take care of you while I'm gone." Then someone knocked on the door. I was not prepared for who was on the other side.

"So, is she still asleep?" To my suprise it was Komui outside my door. I was still holding my precious daughter in my arms.

"Yes, my angel is awake." I say smiling. "Let me guess Lenalee is in Lavi's room?"

"Yes, my poor sister is in another mans room and I have to save her before she becomes a young mother!" His face is horrifying at the last thought but regains his composure quickly, "So, plan is to get Kalira to cry and stand outside his door. That way Lenalee can take of her and not Lavi's needs."

I couldn't help but laugh at that last part but I hand over my baby girl to him. "Don't worry, I will be back very soon." I kiss her on the forehead and watch Komui carry her down the hall. "Well, are you ready fireball?" But they only noise I get is snoring; now to meet up with everyone at the bottom of this mountain, which the quickest way is by the elevator. I get down to the meeting place only to see General Cross there leaning on the carriage and no sign of Allen or Kanda. I only shrug and walk over to the man who got me involved in all this mayhem. He looks at me and my equipment that I was carring.

"Do you really need all that?" He asks me and lights a cigarette.

"I really have no idea what I would be doing, so yes I packed all of this?" I snap back, besides it was not alot of things, but then agian he knows I have things hidden in my short yukatta. "No one even told me I had to go with you three untill about two hours ago."

I guess my attitude toward him put the old man on edge for he was now thinking and I was unsure of what was going to happen next. "You know it has been a while since we had time to talk." He said and tossed his cigarette away. "I want the truth about what happened between Komui and you. I got his story and ment to ask you but with what Allen did, I got sidetracked. Besides that most of the time your taking care of my granddaughter." He starts to laugh at the last part.

"Nothing happened between us. Yes I did go to talk to him before you called that meeting." I say calmly and trying to get those images out of my mind.

"Can you explain why Narul told me komui's scent was all over your clothes?" He asks after a few minutes of silence.

"He did hug me cause I tried to tell him but I could not seem to get the words out." I wanted to run back to my daughter at that point, but I was expected to do this. "After that I left to get shower and started to cry again."

"You know sooner or later your father will find out you are here. Not to mention no one in your family knows about Kalira. Do not worry, I have not told him where you are. Not yet at least." He says and looks at his watch. "Those two are really late."

"If needed I will tell my father that you are Kalira's father." I say with a smirk on my face. "Don't worry, its not like my father will kill you, he would beat you to a pulp."

He only laughs and thats when we both turn at the sound of footsteps. We both turn to see Allen and Kanda walking down the stairs, holding hands and laughing. As they got closer I noticed Allen's face had brusies and I was not happy.

"Kanda, why the hell did you punch Allen?" I scream over and over in my head as we all climb into the carriage and headed away from the order, I tried to remain calm but I just want to throw something sharp at kanda. In stead of actually doing that, I had decided to check over my equipment and make sure everything was in working order. Allen had fallen asleep on Kanda's lap and General Cross was dozing off, not to mention Narul had woken up but only to fly on Cross's hat and was now back asleep. It was Kanda and myself that were awake. I paid no attention to him what so ever, and I guess it had been a little over an hour before he spoke.

"That's alot of equipment you are packing." He says nervously. The last time we spoke I ened up throwing Kalira's bottle at him.

"What about my equipment?" I ask him with glaring eyes. I could tell he just wanted to be polite but my mind was on the bruised face of Allen.

"Nothing, just dont understand why you need all that stuff? We are just going on a retrieval mission." He says.

"I did not even know I had to come with the three of you." I say and return to polishing my blow gun. "My skills are tracking, finding and eliminating the target."

"Those skills are usefull when dealing with akuma, but my problem is that you can not fight akuma. You are not an acommadator of innocence." He says in frustration and that is starting a fire in my head.

"So me coming gives you the right to punch Allen in the face." I snap back unable to to hold back any more. "Trust me, I would rather be back at the order with my daughter."

"I DID NOT PUNCH MY MOYASHI, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HIT HIM!" He screams loud enough that Narul and Cross wake up.

"I never hit him and you should watch your tone with me." I threaten and throw a kunai at him. His face was shocked when it landed to the right of his face.

"Where in God's name did that come from?" I can tell he is very pissed off by his tone of voice.

"That is enough from both of you." Cross says raising his hand. "Kanda you never know what she has hidden in the yukata. She was trained to kill after all."

"Still does not give her a reason to throw things at people." He states with even more frustration, and I throw three more at him. I notice Narul was now up and searching for something in my bag.

"If I wanted to, I could always throw one of these in the center of your stupid head." I say trying to hold my anger, "Besides there is no way I could have hit Allen. I did not see him at all last night."

"Allen can dream walk. Its a side effect of the medicine that idiot Komui gave him." Kanda snaps back.

"Komui, is not an idiot and don't bring his name into this conversation to try and save your sorry ass." I gasp after I finish those words.

"Why do you defend Komui? He turned Allen into a sugar glider, and made you cry." Now Kanda has hit a nerve and I'm really mad now. I'm in a panic at this point. If only you knew the real reason why I left crying that day but no one ever will. Thats when something hits Kanda's arm.

"Bulls eye!" Yells Narul.

"What just happened?" Kanda says and pull a dart out of his arm and begins to yawn. "What is this?"

"It is a sleep dart, guaranteed to knock out guards for about 2-3 hours." I say and then Kanda falls asleep.

"About time someone got one of you to shut up." Cross says and begins to drift off to sleep again. Narul flies down and gets comfortable on my lap.

What was I going to do now. The fact that my mind was focused on trying to leave the order and my heart went toward Komui. I don't understand as to why I defened him, but the fact remains that I love him, even if he hates me. I look over to Kanda and notice that Allen is awake with a smirk. Could my day get any worse?

"You know, Kanda is going to be pissed when he wakes up."He said smiling and trying not to laugh.

"Hey, it was the ball of fire laying on my lap that did it not me." I replied pointing down at the sleepy little dragon. "Still, Kanda had it coming."

"True but the whole thing was just too funny." I believe that is what he said but he was laughing so hard now, that I could not really understand him.

"In any case, Im happy womanizer fell back to sleep." I saying pointing at Cross.

"You do know he's not all bad." Allen says with a straight face, "He may be rough but he does know what he he is doing."

"True but then again seeing him covered in blood, barely breathing, and trying to walk, I would have to say he is reckless and completly stubborn at times but at least he has a sensitive side." I reply trying to forget the night I found him almost dead in the woods outside a cottage my father owned.

"I'm glad you found him and brought him back to health." He says calmly.

"If I never found him, my life would have been the same. My daughter would have never been taken by that monster, I would have meet anyone from the order, never would have made them keep a secret from you, you would never have left, you would have never been taken to a forest in an exchange gone wrong,and there would have been no suicide attempt." I stated angrily and yet I knew it was the ugly truth.

"True but then I never would have found someone who I can actually talk to. Its because of you that in a way Kanda and I are closer. Our fights make us stronger. Also if all of that never happened Cross would have died and eventually I would have ultimately killed myself because of it." Allen states. "As I told you before, you did what you had to do. I was mad when you tried to give me to Tyki but I trusted you. I knew you had a plan. I never once doubted you. At the time it was Kanda and everyone else I doubted."

"Still, I'm trained to kill and show no mercy." I tell him, "In my line of work, you only trust those in your profession, and family. Everyone else is not to be trusted."

"Still, you are stuck at the order right now. Tyki will try to get revenge on what you did. Kalira is in the safest place right now." Allen explains.

"Still, I don't belong at the order. If anything, I will go back to China and stay with my dad." I state, but deep down I have a feeling that they won't let me leave.

"I don't understand why you think leaving the order will do you any good. If you leave how will you protect Kalira from Tyki and the akuma?" He bluntly asks, "You have no anti akuma weapon, which means no innocence, and that means you can not kill a single Akuma."

I stared at him and thought about the many secrets that I have, but only three really came to my mind. One being my red gloves, second was my feelings for Komui, and the thrid was how much of a con artist I was. Needless to say the less they know about me the better. I noticed Allen was shaking. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a blanket and handed it to him. "It is a little chilly out since it is very early." I tell him and he gladly takes the blanket.

"Thanks, but seriously you did hit me." Allen replied while he wrapped himself in the blanket. "You truly are a force that should be taken seriously."

"Maybe you should learn how to control your dream walking." I say while trying to remain calm about this whole situation. "Besides that, I did mean every word I said last night."

"Well, I'm sorry I made you upset and for lying to you. I really hope we can put this mishap behind us." He says trying to get comfy on Kanda's lap.

"Let's just say its forgotten, and promise to stay out of my head." I tell him with a calm but deadly tone.

"I'll stay out if I can, as you say I need to learn control. If I appear it's cause I couldn't help it. So, is there something going on with you and Komui?" He asks me and all I want to do is disappear. "I know I asked you this before, but I have a feeling that you two are closer than what everyone believes."

"I do believe that he is a nice guy, but I don't think we could ever be more than just friends." I say trying to hide my feelings.

"Well, I'm going to go back bed." He says yawning. Next thing I here is him snoring lightly. He looked so adorable laying on Kanda's lap. I find my self slowly drifiting back to sleep as well.

I wake up to the the sound of General Cross, "Wake up Asarina. How do we get Kanda up? We are almost at the city, you have to wake up."

"The city?" I ask him and I'm still half asleep. Then it hits me; mission in some city, Narul put Kanda to sleep, and now almost at destination. Could my life get any worse. "There is nothing I can do. He either wakes up by himself or we forcefully wake him." I say after getting my thoughts together.

"I hava an idea." Allen suddenly says with an evil grin on his face. "Just get out and let me handle this."

I can only look at Cross who just nods amd then we both leave the carriage. It did not take that long before we heard Kanda scream, "Why are you stopping?!" Then it went completly quiet and we then see both of coming out. "We will finish this when wecomplete this mission. What are you three staring at?!"

Cross just put his hands to forehead and mumbles something incoherent. Then Narul started laughing and I just sighed, "You ready to look around, fireball?"

"Yes, lets look at some jewels or some food in general." He says happily and run to the back of my neck to hide in my hair.

"Wait a minute." Kanda says sharply, "We have a mission to complete. The innocence fragment is why we came here."

"Look, I don't care about that right now. I just spent four hours in a carriage. I would like some piece and quiet." I snap back and I was not going to back down at all. "Besides it is only noon."

"Lunch time!" Screams a very hungry dragon.

"Come on Kanda, lets do some sightseeing." Allen says while giving his boyfriend playful looks.

"Well, I will see you all at the hotel. That way we can store our belongings and change" Cross says and starts to walk off into the city.

"General, are you really going to go along with Asarina and Allen?" The brute samurai asks in an all most breathless gasp. His answer was what shocked us.

"Well since I'm in a city, and dont know when I will be on another mission. Might as well get some adorable clothes for my lovely granddaughter, Kalira." He replied and for a second, I swear he was skipping into the city.

"Well, you two have fun. Narul and I are going to get lunch." I say and take my leave into the city. I swear if Cross comes to the hotel room with 30 outfits for my child, I'll kill him.

Narul and I spent the majority of the afternoon looking at jewels from outside the shops, we did eat some really good steaks, and I found myself a new combat outfit. After buying the outfit and a few new weapons, we headed to the hotel to change.

After putting on the outfit I noticed how amazing I looked. The black pants really made my legs show just how athletic I was. The matching low cut black top really made my breats and curves stand out. The sleeves only covered my shoulders and when I put my gloves on, I realized that I was truly ment to wear this. I then put my belt on and began to gear up. Inside the belt I place; my mini blow gun and several differnt kind of darts, my vex34, kunais, and various other throwing weapons. I alost place my tracking darts and device inside as well. The I attach my Katana with my family creast on it to my waist. The last thing I do is put my hair up in a bun.

"Mommy, you look deadly." Narul said as he sits on the sink in the bathroom. That is when we heard the door to the room up. We could hear Allen, Kanda, and Cross talking.

"Master was it really necessary to buy forty outfits for Kalira?" Allen asks and I can only giggle.

"Yes, it was and all of them will look stunning on her, not to mention I got four matching dresses for Asarina." Cross says and I can only picture him smiling.

"Well, we're here on time and she is not." Kanda and his smart mouth. That is when I open the bathroom door and walk out. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE WILL BE DOING TONIGHT!" At that remark the only thing I can give them is an evil grin

"Announcing, the princess of darkness, the midnight slicer, the daughter of stealth, the black mist, and the night tracker, Asarina." Narul says with an evil tone. Which causes us all to stare at him.

"Well, I have no idea what this mission is about." I say bluntly.

It was then Cross explained about innocence and how each fragment has an acommadator. It turns out the Millennium Earl wants to destroy the innocence cause the exorcist harnessing these fragments to create their weapons; these weapons are the only devices that can destroy and release the souls in the akuma. It was a lot to take in but it made me realize just how dangerous Tyki and his family were.

"Well, enough of this talk." I say and head toward the door. "Let's go find this fragment. "

Eventually we all leave the room and go back into town. I guess we wondered around for about an hour and we still found no luck. "Where would this fragment be located? Would it be in sewers?" Narul asked and I could only shake my head at him.

"That is highly unlikely it would be in the sewers and I dont see any signs that it is in the city." Kanda said and continued walking.

"Okay, bye mom, im going to go look for jems." The little dragon said before flying into a sewer entrance.

"Okay, I'm completely tired of walking around with no clue how to find this piece of junk." I state and just stopped walking. "Im trained to track and kill, not wonder around with no clue how to find something."

"Then how is it you track people?" Allen asks and begins to scratch his head.

"Well, normally I go undercover first and meet the peron. This way Narul can get their scent and then when night fall comes Im able to find them using Narul's great sense of smell. Eventually, I do put a physical tracker on or in them." I say and cross my arms due to I'm getting very annoyed.

"Wait, a minute. You mean to say that Narul is the tracker and your the night." Kanda says in almost disbelief, but who could blame him at this point.

"In a sense, that is correct." Cross says, "Never the less Narul makes his own choices. He can choose to help or not to help his mother."

"That is very interesting. To think you made it to the top of your game with the little prankster." Allen said laughing, but he was correct. Narul was always there for me.

"He is my fireball and my son. Make no mistake on what he is capable of doing or you might not live to see another day." I tell them with a straight face. Narul maybe a goof ball but he does know when to be serious.

"Either way, maybe there is no innocence fragment here." Allen says sadly, "Maybe we should just go home and tell Komui this mission was a failure."

"Maybe your right. Narul if you can hear me, we are leaving soon." I yell loud enough so he can hear me. Then I turn around and start to walk, the three boys follow my lead. What a waste of time this was, I think to myself.

"Mommy, watch this." Narul shouts and we all trun to see him pounce, throw some shinning emerald in the air and see him catch in his mouth, then he swallows it. "Yummy, tasty glowing emerald." Then he licks his lips.

"No!" The three boys scream.

"What is your problem?" I say in disbelief. "He eats jems and jewels all the time."

"Asarina, what Narul just ate was the innocence fragment." Cross says nervously.

"I don't feel good." Narul says and his wings droop.

Then the three knuckle heads start talking and arguing about what to. All I can make out was; what if he is an acommadator, cant be, why not he is an intelligent creature. They are talking so fast that I was getting a headache.

"Cat! Dinner!" Narul screams, l turn around and see him dart in an ally way. I then take off, not wanting him to get hurt. With what he swallowed it made me worried. I did not even see Kanda, Allen or Cross behind me. It looks like at this moment, I'm on my own.

* * *

_**Cross' POV:**_

I couldn't believe this! We should all be going back to the inn and packing up to leave, not chasing Narul who wants to eat a cat! What struck me with interest and worry though was that cat had a bell. The same bell Lulu Bell had. Now there was a possibility the Noah's could be around and we just got separated from Asarina one of the ones who is targeted. Looking back I notice only Kanda is still following me and it forces me to stop running.

"Kanda…Where is Allen?" I ask seriously and he only looks at me quizzically before looking back. He groans out in frustration before heading back to try and find Allen. Now we were all separated and no clue if the two main targets of the Noah's were all right. Turning back around and facing the way I had originally began running and headed off again. It was that very moment I quickly un-holstered Judgment and fired hearing the explosion of an Akuma being destroyed.

"I told you he would have been able to quickly sense that low level Akuma the Earl let us use Devit!" I heard a laughing voice and I could only roll my eyes turning my gaze up ward.

"That Akuma wasn't meant to kill him it was more of a test Jasdero." The other voice said and I could only narrow my eyes at the dark haired and blond Noah. Of all the Noah's to encounter it had to be the most annoying ones of all.

"I don't have the time for the both of you! State your business and get lost!" I hiss watching as the jump down standing back to back with each of their guns pulled out.

"Our business is keeping you while the Earl and Tyki take care of business with Asarina and Allen." They both laugh and I can only roll my eyes. Enough of this shit, I'm going to hurt them! I quickly aim my weapon type innocence at them and fire. I'm not surprised when the smoke clears from the explosions to see they had dodge.

"RED BOMB!" I hear them yell and I flip over the large fireball shooting at the two. So they still use the same tricks. I was not amused and I plan to end this rather quickly. For both Asarina and Allen's sake, I can only hope that both of my apprentices can manage to hold up their own until I am able to get to them.

* * *

_**Kanda's POV:**_

After running away from Cross the only thing that seemed to run through my mind was that I had to get to Allen. I had an unnerving feeling in my gut that something horrible was going to happen. I know Cross and Asarina are both capable of holding up their own in a fight so I wasn't concerned for them. Allen as long as he didn't encounter Tyki then he'd be fine, but with his mental state as of late, I wasn't so sure anymore, besides this was a normal mission nothing could go wrong.

"Oh my looky at what I found Lero! A knew doll to play with!" Sometimes I hate jinxing myself as I hear the high pitched cackle that belonged to Road, then next her many candles appearing all around me. I stop running when one almost pierces through me from trying to continue on.

"That is the one thing I hate about you Kanda, you're too smart for your own good! But at least now I can stall you from reaching your precious Allen." She says all too sweetly appearing not that far above me riding upon that pink umbrella named Lero.

"You leave Allen alone you wench!" I snap pulling Mugen instantly from its sheath and activating it. I grit my teeth angrily even more when she begins to laughing standing up balancing on the umbrella.

"You really think using Mugen is going to do anything to me?! Just accept the fact that you've already lost and that you're going to loose Allen!" She snapped jumping from the umbrella and landing to in front of me holding one of her candles. I couldn't help the pain filled yell I let out when she stabbed the candle into my stomach.

"Why can't you just let my precious Tyki have his precious pet you mongruel!" She hissed and before I knew it I was sent flying through a few trees. I could only smirk feeling my hair fall around me shadowing my eyes.

"Because Allen isn't a piece of property or an animal to own; I will not allow any of you to have when your intentions are only to hurt him. I will not let you harm my Moyashi." I hiss standing to my feet feeling a dark chuckle reverberating through me as I lift Mugen up. I notice Roads look is now full of irritation.

"First Illusion…Netherworld Insects." I say darkly and slash down Mugen, I will kill this bitch for what she was preventing me from doing.

* * *

_**Allen's POV:**_

It was official, this town was too damn confusing! I had run off separate from Kanda and Cross cause I knew they were going down the wrong direction. But, with my horrible sense of direction I only got my own self lost and here I was…standing in an alley way facing a dead end. I leaned forward resting my head onto the brick wall. I was muttering how stupid I was to let myself get separated from them all. It wasn't long until I was standing straight again and staring up at the sky. I heard Kanda's pained scream and I feel my eyes widening in horror. He was in trouble. Turning to run towards where I heard the scream I only crash into a firm chest before I am painfully slammed into the wall behind me.

"Looky what I caught, a little white mouse ready for me to pounce." My body freezes up and I go stiff as I slowly lift my head to stare into the playfully deadly eyes of Tyki Mikk. I couldn't help it when my hands begin to shack and I immediately began to try and shove him away. With my panic I am unable to over power him, especially when his hands roughly grab onto my upper arms and his lips are forced onto mine and he pushes me more against the wall. I couldn't help the gasp when his knee brushes against me in between my legs and his tongue darts into my mouth. I could only whimper as I try to pull my head away.

"Stop…please…" I beg once he breaks the kiss and begins to kiss my neck as his hands quickly work on the buttons of my jacket and he easily removes it tossing it somewhere by us. Next he begin unbuttoning my white long sleeved dress shirt before also disposing it on top of my exorcist jacket. I make a pained noise when he bites down onto my neck and his thumbs begin running over my nipples. I feel his tongue licking around the area he just bit before sucking on the skin. His knee pressing further into me earning him an unwanted gasp like moan from me; I feel his lips tug into a smirk against my skin before his hands descend to the hem of my pants.

"No…don't!" I cry out and he once again forces his lips onto mine forcing his tongue in once more as his hands undoes my pants pushing them down enough until they fall on their own to the ground.

"No more…please just stop!" I cry as I am flipped around a forced to slightly bend over before my face is roughly pressed into the brick wall. I feel tears spill over my eyes as I hear Tyki only chuckle darkly his hands continuing to roam over my body. I let out a moan when I feel an odd sensation run through me, but I knew what it was, he did it in a dream once way back before Kanda and I got together. He was using his phasing ability to push his hands into my chest.

"And why would I stop my little pet? You belong to me remember?" He says leaning over my back pressing his chest against me his mouth by my ear hot breath dancing over the skin. I had to press my hands against the wall to keep me balanced.

"I'm all you have Allen! No one loves you and no one wants you. You relationship with Kanda is just a fucking lie. His love for you is only an Illusion! He does not love you!" He laughs and I can't help as more tears fall from my eyes and more unwanted moans coming from my mouth as his hands leave me and begin to pump my erection.

"I think it's time to finally take you." He hisses and I let out a scream when I forces into me. I hear him moan in satisfaction. "So fucking tight." He says into my ear before he begins thrusting in and out of me. I begin to cry letting out sobs as I beg him to stop. Everything hurt and all I wanted was for it to end. I knew in reality he made it quick for this was only a temporary meeting but to me it lasted for eternity before I was forced to release and he released inside of me. I let him redress me as I had no more fight in me as the tears slowly stopped but I could still feel the fresh streaks.

"Now…let's go join the others. I think my assistance is needed anyway." He said and I can hear explosions of a fight somewhere off. I let myself be lifted off the ground from him and his arm wrapped around my arms and waist as my back is pressed against his chest.

"Kan…da." I choke out biting my lip as I feel him slip us through the ground going most likely to the fight.

* * *

_**Asarina's POV:**_

"Narul, stop." I tell him as im running after him, "Please, I don't want to lose you. Forget the cat and lets find Allen and the others." I do not know where we are but I'm not thrilled with the noises I hear behind me. Maybe they got into trouble, but I have to get Narul first. Eventually we both end up in an empty town square and I see him sitting on the ground sniffing.

"I lost my dinner." He tells me and flys on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I took off."

"You are okay and that is what matters." I tell him and look around, "How do we find our way back?"

"No, clue. I could sniff for Cross." Narul says happily but knows now is not the time for jokes.

"Why did you have to chase the cat. Im sure we will find our way back." I reassured him.

"Asarina is that you.?" A familiar vocie calls and as he steps into the light, I feel my heart race faster.

"Adam, is that really you?" I call out and all I see is him smile. "I thought you were dead."

"No, just badly injured." He replies, "How have you been? Rumours have it you had a child?"

"Yes, I have a daughter named Kalira." I say and start to walk toward him but stop. "You do know that you are her father."

"I was hoping I would be. I have missed you so much. Narul, you got big." He says and Narul can only smile.

"Is this real? You are really here and I'm not dreaming?" I say tring to figure things out.

"Yes, im here and you are not dreaming. I guess this is a chance encounter." He says smiling and his eyes are some what different than what I remember. I stood there for a while in the dark; I hear an explosion and turn around. I know Kanda, Cross, and Allen are out there fighting but I was not about to reveal another secret. I look back at Adam but I needed to go back and get Kalira.

"Why so quiet? It has been almost a year and I want to hold you." He tells me and then everything went still.

"Are you willing to help me raise Kalira and begin a life with me?" I ask him with tears in my eyes.

"Yes, I'm sorry it took so long for us to find each other." He says with a smile.

Im not really sure what to do but all I know is Adam is the man I thought had died but now seeing him makes me want to be with him. As I start to run towards him I only get about half way there when someone grabs my arm. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL ARE YOU DOING?." Cross yells as I'm turned to face him.

"Let me go." I say and try to break free but he would not realease his grip at all. "I know that man and he is Kalira's father."

"Are you seriouse?" Kanda asks and is now looking confused as to why Cross won't let go. The both of them looked pretty battered

"You mean to tell me that our emery, the Millennium Earl is Kalira's father?" He looks at me with concerned in his eyes. That is when a blast of energy hit Cross and Kanda. I turn around to seee my handsome Adam had changed into a fat man with evil looking eyes.

"Now, Cross, you should not have done that." He says while laughing. "I'm sorry but he is correct. Like all the other Noahs, I to have a human form. Now lets go, Asarina."

I am completly pissed and heartbroken, the man who was the father of my child, is the same person who wants to destroy the world.

"I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU." I scream at him. "YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH MY DAUGHTER. CROSS AND ALLEN TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOUR PLANS."

"Did they now, but I will be taking you with me." He says and then 20 akuma appear. "There is no escape."

"Asarina, you have to leave here." I hear Cross say but the two of them are in no condition to fight.

"I will never go with you. Narul get ready." I tell him.

"Mothers Fury activate." In that moment my gloves responded and created my most dangerous weapon. The red material moved up my arms and over my chest creating an armor like hardness, the fingers became sharp points and the palm of my hands became ready to manipulate Narul's fire.

"Well, this is something I had no clue about." I hear Cross say in shock.

"How the fuck does she have innocence?" Kanda questions but he gets no reply.

"Narul, lets get to work." I say lifting up my hand, then he blows a fire ball into my hand and now I split it into five, then use my other hand to make it ten.

"YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME OR MY DAUGHTER."

Then the akuma come at me but im too quick for these huge monsters and dodge but never the less they die from contact with the fire. I manipulate the fire into anything I want. I can even channel the power of Mothers Fury into my katana. No matter how many of them come, they all end up dead by my hand. So long as Narul keeps feeding me the fire, nothing can stop me.

"So, when did you become one of them?" The Earl asks throwing up his hands and they stop attacking for now.

"I have never been one of them I found out I could do this when I was ten." I say in frustration ,

"Either way, its none of your bussiness. Stage three engage." In that instant Narul blows fire on my back, which is then caught by several disks. The disks, like the ones on my hands control the fire but make the fire in to wings and now my whole body is covered with the red armor

"Impressive," Kanda says and I notice both of them are standing up. Not worrying too much about them, I take to the sky drawing out my katana, which now has flames on it. That is when the akuma begin to move closer to me.

"HEAT WAVE!" I yell as I swing my katana and it destroys about 10 akuma.

"Mommy, they are after." I hear Narul scream and now he is flying in a bigger version but the akuma are not scared.

"Stupid dragon, you swallowed that fragment. See if you have the abiliy to use your fire to kill it." I hear Cross scream at him as I fight my way to save my son.

Next thing I know he turns around and lets out a huge stream of fire, then the akuma explodes. "All right new fire." He screams and grows bigger. Now the akuma are running from him.

I look and notice the Earl standing there looking at Crosd and Kanda. They are in no condition to fight him. I see him getting ready to realease another ball of energy at them. I dive down, only to block it and rebound back to him. Then I charge up my final attack.

"HELLS INFERNO." I yell and then everything is silent.

When the smoke clears, the Mellillium Earl is on the ground and all the akuma are dead. Cross and Kanda are impressed but I have some business to attened to. I prepare another fire blast only to hear Allen scream, "Let me go." We all trun to see Tyki forcefully holding Allen, you could see fresh tear streaks on his and all could tell that, that damned Noah has already done something to him.

"Let him go." I gave Tyki a warning as he now stands with Allen in front of his master.

"Get your hands off him." Kanda says and by his tone, I could tell he was pissed. I turn to see him slowly walking toward me and his face shows just how angry he is.

That is when Allen screams. I turn back to see Tyki's hand in Allen's pants. "Don't move or I just might take him where he stands." Tyki says grinnng with madness.

"What do you want?" I ask him and now im ready to kill him for two reasons; the first is due to my daughter and the second is for what he was doing now.

"I want to see you break." He says and uses his other hand to go inside Allen's shirt. "You made a deal with me and I got nothing. While you got your brat back, what did I get? I got norhing. I did not get Allen, You bitch." Then he kisses Allen's neck and I see is tears in Allen's eyes.

"You will never break me. Now let him go or so help me I will kill you." I scream.

"Tyki, lets get of here." I know see the Earl stading up. "Don't worry I have a full proof plan but she got me good."

I can only stare and wonder what he ment. The next thing I knew Allen was shoved into me, then this blinding light, and then both Tyki and the Earl were gone. Cross comes over and grabs the already hysterical Allen. I deactivate mothers fury and then out of nowhere, Narul comes with everything from the room.

"Lets get outside the city. That way Narul can take us home." I say and walking off, and following Narul to the gates of the city. Once a good few miles away, he is his actual size and we get on. Cross is keeping Allen from falling as he continues to cry, Kanda looks concerned and I want to hold my daughter. We fly for a good two hours and land at the order. The first thing I hear is Narul's stomach growl, and we all head to get a bite to eat. Don't understand why he eats so much but the cook once told me that it was a pleasure to cook this much for someone other than Allen. We all grab meals minus Allen who only sits at the table his legs hugged to him.

While we were eating, Komui came and sat down with us. "So, was the mission successful? Where is the innocence or did you not find it?" He asks. We all stop and stare at each other.

"Oh, we found it all right, dummy head." Narul said and then took a bite of his steak. That dragon torments Komui more than anyone esle here.

"Well, that is good news. General Cross, can I have it please?" Komui asks and then there is more slience.

"He does not have it and you wont like where it is." Narul replies grinning.

"Why do you say that?" He asks

"Let's just say I ate it and now I can kill akuma." Narul said and his smile only got wider.

"Great, now I have a crazy reptile as an exorcist and not to mention your mother." Komui said slapping his forehead. "The finders told me lots of things happened tonight."

"Yes, and it was crazy." Cross adds and looks at me.

"Road, Tyki, the psycho twins and the Earl himself showed up." Komui stated.

"We handled them easily." Allen said in monotone voice. I could that what Tyki did affected him badly and I knew just from the dead look in his eyes there was so much more we don't know.

"In any case, it is not every day the Earl shows himself. I wonder what he wanted." Komui asks but I only get up to leave. I was going to ask Komui to talk in private but that was not how things worked out.

"The Millennium Earl is Kalira's father." Kanda said calmly and I found my self hitting him on the head with my tray and it broke in half.

"You are one mother fucking jerk...No wander Allen and most of everyone calls you Bakanda!" I tell him and run off to my room. My emotions were climbing and too much was going on. I had to stop them from surfacing or my world would once again crumble. Once inside my room, I noticed Kalira was in her cirb fast asleep and to think her father is the enemy, "He will never see you." I whispered to my self.

I reached into my belt pulling out a needle, my band and my bottle of Vex34, my only hope for my sanity. I fill the needle with the precious fluid, tie the band on my uper left arm, place the needle in my arm, and push the fluid into my body. It takes a few minutes but eventually my mind is calm. I put everything away, feeling fine and completly ready to take on the world.

I hear a knock on my door, "Asarina, its Allen. Can I come in and talk to you for a moment?" He asks me. Not knowing what he wanted to talk about, I walk over and open the door.

"Come on in." I say to him and he enters. " What did you want to talk about?"

"What do you know about love?" He asks and sits on my bed.

"Love is an emotion and sometimes an illusion." I say calmly, knowing the drug is in me and all sense of emotion is gone.

"So even though someone odviously shows that they truly love you, it could actually be an illusion." He asks me with a questioning voice.

"You can never tell someones true feelings for you unless you ask them but even still, it could just be a lie." I tell him stareing at my sleeping daughter. "In a sense love itself could be a lie, emotions are just things that make us hurt or feel fine. Love is the worst one, you may love someone but they could hate you. That is why love is so complex and mysterious."

"So, Kanda's love for me could be a lie...an illusion?" He asks with dead eyes.

"Maybe but I don't know Kanda that well. My advice, stay away from love cause it is what will hurt you or possibly even kill you." I say turning around to face him. "Is that all?"

"Yes, thanks for the advice and I will stay away from love so it does not kill me." He says and then leaves.

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**Well here is chapter 24 and whoa it is long! Hope you enjoyed the read let us know what you think. Please review.**


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